Report: Barack Obama Rescinds Presidency, New Center For Bulls

Eli FuchsContributor INovember 12, 2008

With the emergence of soon to be superstar Derrick Rose, the 12 week injury sustained by now and then starter Kirk Hinrich may have gone by the wayside.  Do not be fooled Bulls fans, this is a major blow to our season. 

Despite having the worst GM in all of the NBA, I am convinced that even John Paxson had some type of trade scenario set up for mid-season.  It is almost guaranteed that Ben Gordon leaves Chicago after this season, so it would only make sense to try and get some worth out of a No. 3 draft pick.  With D-Rose taking pressure off of Hinrich and Gordon, their production has started to reflect that of their playoff runs. 


Gordon's contract situation, lack of ball handling skills, and quality defense leaves him as a difficult player to trade and receive proper compensation.  Despite his critics, Hinrich brings leadership, toughness, decent shooting and quality defense against taller/stronger opponents; just ask Dwayne Wade.  With Hinrich sidelined for three months, he is basically off the radar as is the Bulls playoff hopes!


Now you may ask, why are you excited?  Well, Paxson has been dormant long enough!  Their is a rumor that President elect Barack Obama is in the process of negotiating a long term deal to become the next Chicago Bull!  In his first objective, President Obama will redistribute all talent in the NBA so that every team is equally talented.  Does that mean that we get a big man?  Did Bison Dele resurrect himself?


Alas, a light at the end of the tunnel emerges.  After wasting 3 hours of my precious like watching wanna-be big men like Za Za Pachulia and Al Horford dominating NBDL talent like Joakim Noah and Tyrus Thomas, I began scrambling the internet for big men options. 

Maybe I can help GM Paxson and new renaissance man Obama get the unbear-a-Bulls back to the playoffs?  It appears Mr. 20 pts and 10 rebounds, Chris Kaman is available on the trading block.  Would he not be a perfect fit for the UC? 


When Chris was last in the playoffs, he had a very good power forward in Elton Brand and some perimeter help in Cuttino Mobely and Sam Cassell.  Fast-forward to my ideal trade where Ben Gordon and Joakim Noah are traded to the Clippers for Chris Kaman and either a first round draft pick or an early second.

You then have a true center, a very good power forward in Drew Gooden and heavy talent with Derrick Rose and Larry Huges at the guards. 


Instantly, the Bulls would not only be playoff contenders but would be favorites in the 1st round.  Imagine the difference in open shots when you can actually throw the ball in to a big that can threaten the interior of a defense!


Mr. Obama, if you execute this trade, I will vote for your second term before the first starts!