25 Least Athletic-Looking Jocks
There's no doubt about it: looks can be deceiving.
An athlete's height, weight or overall goofiness can completely deke their opponent into thinking they have no game.
Let's judge these dudes solely on their appearance and not what they bring to their respective arenas.
These are the top 25 athletes who don't look like jocks.
25. Shaun White
He may look like a prop comic, but he's the world's best snowboarder. Shaun White has amassed two Olympic gold medals and a slew of Dew Tour and X-Games medals since 2003.
He was the first athlete to compete in both the Winter and Summer X-Games and has piled up cash signing endorsement deal after endorsement deal.
But, he looks like some mid-1970s rocker who sat out during gym class.
24. Pedro Martinez
It's hard not to think of Pedro Martinez (no relation) as a jock. His three Cy Young Awards, AL Pitching Triple Crown and 219-100 career record speak for themselves.
Also, Martinez comes from the Dominican Republic, perhaps baseball's most fertile land. But, when Martinez made his first appearance with the Dodgers in '92 he certainly didn't look like a man who could throw triple digits.
The bag of bones kept on doing it for 18 seasons despite his tiny frame.
Though his weight fluctuated throughout his career, Eric "Butterbean" Esch was listed at 5'11", 420 pounds.
Not your prototypical boxer, even in the super-heavyweight division, Butterbean held the IBA title while going 52-21-4.
Bean moved on to kickboxing and then finally mixed martial arts, where he has enjoyed success in both sports despite looking as athletic as a beer-guzzling truck driver.
22. Muggsy Bogues
Tyrone "Muggsy" Bogues isn't just short for being a basketball player, he's short in the real world. Standing just 5'3", Bogues not only made it to the League, he was damn good.
Compiling a 5:1 assist-to-turnover ratio, Muggsy was a reliable point guard in the NBA for 14 seasons.
He looks, however, like Skee-Lo. By those looks alone, Bogues would have a hard time getting a run at the park.
21. Rod Beck
Before there was Kenny Powers, there was Rod Beck. The difference? Beck wasn't a jerk, also he wasn't a fictitious character from an HBO series.
"Shooter" was not only a stand-up human being, he was one heck of a closer. His 48 saves in 1993 propelled the San Francisco Giants to a 103-win playoff-free season which caused MLB to reevaluate its postseason structure.
Simply put, Beck didn't fit the athletic mold. He looked more like a Raider fan than a professional baseball player.
Beck passed away in 2007. His cause of death was undisclosed.
20. Steve Nash
What a gargoyle! Steve Nash does not look like a basketball player. Instead he looks like the ghastly ghoul Vincent Price was rapping about in Michael Jackson's "Thriller."
Despite his terrible hair, Nash won back-to-back MVP awards and has proven to be one of the NBA's best point guards of all time.
If only he could do something about that mug.
19. Darren Sproles
At only 5'6" and 181 pounds, Darren Sproles looks like an infant on the field; but the spry Kansas State alum gets it done and is one of the NFL's most electric players.
You gotta be tough if you're outweighed by 200 pounds by the guys chasing you down.
18. Oliver Miller
"The Big O" isn't a professional eater; he didn't compete against Joey Chestnut on the Fourth of July; he's a former professional basketball player.
At 6'9" and tipping the scale at over 300 pounds, Miller spent eight seasons in the NBA before playing abroad.
He might have rivaled Shaq in the weight department, but Miller stood four inches shorter and had nowhere near O'Neal's game.
17. Danica Patrick
Here's what Danica really looks like, and it certainly doesn't look athletic.
I know most of you are rolling your eyes saying "driving is not a sport," but I'm here to tell you it takes a lot of endurance and athletic ability.
And for that reason, Patrick doesn't fit the physical guidelines. She's a scrawny woman, yet she has managed to keep her car since 2005.
16. John Kruk
There was something about the late '80s and early '90s that just screamed,"short, pudgy ballplayer." And with that, I give you: John Kruk.
"Listed" at 170 pounds, Kruk seemed to get fatter and fatter with each passing season. To add to his unathletic build, he rocked a mullet that made these guys jealous.
Kruk lasted 10 seasons in the bigs and was a career .300 hitter despite his physical shortcomings.
15. Roy Worters
This slick-haired youngster wasn't the team's equipment manager; Roy "Shrimp" Worters played professional hockey with the Pittsburgh Pirates, New York Americans and Montreal Canadiens from the end of World War I to nearly the beginning of World War II.
At just 5'3", Worters is the shortest man to play in the NHL and was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1969 for his work between the pipes.
14. Manute Bol
Even though he was listed at 225 pounds, Manute might have looked like the most fragile professional athlete of all-time.
The 7'7" Bol towered over his opponents but averaged just 2.6 points per game over his career.
Bol died at the age of 47 of acute kidney failure in 2010.
13. Tim Lincecum
Timmy might not look anything like a jock, but his two Cy Young Awards and strikeout-infused seasons in the bigs make you stop and think.
From the Pacific Northwest, "The Freak" has dazzled opponents with his devastating changeup and blurring fastball. He also looks like he spent 1969 in upstate New York at Woodstock.
His long hair and strange grill don't scream All-American jock; instead, they scream X-Box 360 and camping.
12. Bill Walton
Speaking of hippies and freaks, lay your eyes on this ghastly number: Bill Walton.
UCLA's most prolific forward was injury-ridden once he got to the League, but his beard with no accompanying mustache is a super-creepy look.
Walton's awkward build and hairstyle are reminiscent of Michael J. Fox's character in Teen Wolf.
11. John Daly
I don't know what John Daly is smuggling underneath that red shirt, but he sure doesn't look like any jock I've seen before.
Maybe golf isn't a sport, but it does take a lot of ability and coordination, and at one time, Daly was world class. A winner of two majors, Daly's ballooned weight never seemed to slow him down on the course.
Another mullet-sporter, Daly looks like he belongs on a flip cup or beer pong team than the Davis Cup team.
10. Larry Bird
It's hard to find someone who doesn't consider Larry Bird to be a top-10 NBAer of all time. He could do it all—pass, shoot, defend; you name it.
One thing "Legend" didn't do was look the part. Sure, he was 6'9" and he had an NBA body, but Bird looked like an overgrown version of a kid who spent his lunches in high school playing Pokemon with his fellow outsiders.
His terrible mustache only added to his non-jock style. Just look at this goober.
9. Martin Gramatica
I could have compiled a list of kickers who don't look like they have ever participated in organized sports. Instead, I summed it up with one goofy nerd from a nerdy goof family: Martin Gramatica.
Though his brother, Bill, was the Gramatica who hurt himself celebrating a routine field goal, Martin is the one you want to shove into a locker.
His tiny build and flamboyant style is not only annoying in still frames, it also annoys in video.
8. Prince Fielder
Tipping the scales at almost three bills, Prince Fielder is a ballplayer trapped inside of a right guard's body (minus six inches of height).
He is the spitting image of his father, Cecil—who also managed to club 50 homers in a season—despite his portly build.
Some ballplayers are husky, Fielder is just fat. Hard to fight with results, though. Fielder has smashed over 200 home runs in his young career and has tried to slim his round figure by becoming a vegetarian.
7. Frederick Walden
Frederick "Fanny" Walden played right-wing for Tottenham Hotspur and Northampton Town in the 1910s and 1920s.
His nickname was given to him to describe his dainty physique as he stood just 5'2" off the ground.
So, a terrible nickname, plus a height deficiency, plus a mock turtleneck equals the No. 7 spot on the countdown. Seems fair.
This is too easy...
5. CC Sabathia
To be fair, this shot was taken when CC was eight months pregnant.
Sabathia is a five-time All-Star, a Cy Young Award winner and a World Series champion, but he is enormous. If he were an outside tackle in the NFL, he wouldn't have sniffed the list, but he's a southpaw pitcher for perhaps the most famous sports franchise in the world: the New York Yankees.
4. David Wells
Sorry to overload the list with fat Yankees, but for some reason, they love the Big Apple—maybe it's because they think it is literally a big apple.
Wells may have tossed a perfect game, but I think it's more impressive that he walked around with several bowling balls tucked neatly underneath his jersey whilst accomplishing the feat.
"Boomer" looks more like a professional bowler than a professional athlete.
3. Charles Barkley
If it isn't "The Round Mound of Rebound" himself. The former Auburn star was an absolute freak on the basketball court.
His listed 6'6" frame has been constantly questioned and his frumpy body has been constantly been mocked.
Barkley has further proven his limited athletic prowess as he has, perhaps, the world's worst golf swing.
2. Luke Chadwick
Nerd alert! Luke Chadwick of the Milton Keynes Dons is an English footballer and one of the dweebiest dudes to strap on the boots. He looks more like Cletus the slack-jawed yokel than an elite athlete.
His bowl-cut is priceless. After looking at this Adonis, this King of Men, I feel strangely more secure in my looks.
Who knew this list could boost all of our collective egos?
1. Eddie Gaedel
Leave it to Bill Veeck to produce a stunt like this. The then-St. Louis Browns owner hired Eddie Gaedel through a booking agency in 1951 and hired the little person to appear in the second game of a double-header in August.
Gaedel had one plate appearance where he walked on four straight pitches (big surprise) and then was pinch-ran for at first base.
Gaedel was just 3'7" and weighed only 65 pounds, making him the smallest, and therefore, least athletically-looking professional athlete of all time.