Formula One News Just In... (Humour)

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Formula One News Just In... (Humour)

There isn't much happening in F1 world at the minute, so I thought I would make up some news to pass the time.

 

Toro Rosso find new engine partners

Not wanting to be outdone by Force India, Toro Rosso have announced that they will not be using Ferrari engines in 2009. Instead, they have teamed up with Rover. Gerhard Berger said, "We are delighted to have teamed up with Rover, and although they might not have a rich motorsport heritage, we think that we could be challenging for a championship next year."

 

Piquet sacked from Renault

In a surprise move from Renault several days after saying that they will retain both drivers for 2009, Nelson Piquet Jr. has been fired from Renault with immediate effect, after he was caught stealing office stationery. Piquet said "This is really unfair, I once saw Alonso shove a handful of pens into his pocket, but he doesn't get sacked." Flavio Briatore was unavailable for comment.

 

Honda announce driver competition

Honda announced today that Rubens Barrichello will not been retained by Honda for 2009, but they will also not be signing Bruno Senna. In a momentous decision, they are going to offer the drive to a lucky member of the public in a competition.

Ross Brawn said, "Our car for next year is already looking like it could be a bit of a dog, so we are going to put all of our effort into 2010. Because of this, no racing driver wanted to drive our car for this season, which is why we came up with the competition."

 

FIA's latest cost-cutting measures

Max Mosley has today announced a series of ideas to help lower costs and encourage more teams to join the F1 grid. Firstly, he has ordered that a giant roof must be built over every track on the calendar, so money can be saved by eliminating the need for wet and intermediate tyres.

Secondly, a "pay and display" car park has been introduced in the paddock to encourage the teams to bring less trucks and motor-homes to the circuit.

Finally, he has announced that the FIA will no longer provide free orange juice in the press conferences, as too many of the drivers "are taking advantage of the generosity of the FIA."

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