Top 10 Absolute Worst Types of Sports Fans
These are in no particular order, although personally my least favorite falls under the category of “The person who only cares about making fun of you when your team is losing."
The Fantasy Football Fan
The only reason he can name 100 NFL players is fantasy football. He participates in three leagues, all for money, and he checks the box score for every NFL game every five minutes, just so he can see if Desmond Clark scored a touchdown or Mewelde Moore has rushed for at least 80 yards.
He claims to have a favorite team but, of course, he doesn't follow this team. He doesn't care if they win. If he wins his fantasy football league, but his favorite team loses the game, it was an awesome week for him.
The “I Told You So” Fan
Every single week of the season, every five minutes, he turns to you and says, “I told you so.” I told you Buffalo would win. I told you that Brett Favre would throw at least two touchdowns. I told you that the Giants would run the ball on 3rd-and-8.
You can even set this fan up and he will take the bait. You knew this was going to happen, right? Right? And just watch, he'll agree every time.
The Bandwagon/Fair Weather Fan
The fan that celebrates like crazy after the home team wins the Super Bowl. He acts like he waited his whole life to see this, when in reality he watched the last 11 minutes of the conference championship game and most of the Super Bowl.
If the team went 3-13 that season, there's no way he will claim to be a fan. Many people think that bandwagon fans and fair weather fans are different, but I think they're almost the same. A bandwagon fan is a fair weather fan whose team is winning. The second the team starts losing, this person turns into a fair weather fan, and as a result, won't watch anymore.
The Blind Fan
The fan that says things like, “I hate Donovan. Donovan sucks,” or the fan that thinks that the Seahawks will still make the playoffs this season. He thinks that Tom Brady is always injured, or that Eli Manning will never win a playoff game. Usually, he has no idea about the "boring" teams with winning records, like the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Give it up, dude, and open your eyes to reality.
The Person Who Only Cares about Making Fun of You When Your Team Is Losing
He is usually not even a sports fan. He doesn't care about your team at all. He doesn't have a favorite team himself, so you can't make fun of him. He just wants to make fun of you.
And when your team is 4-0, he hasn't said anything to you yet, but when your team loses that first game, he jumps all over you right away. It's more of a personal attack on you than anything about your sports team.
The Biased Fan
The Pittsburgh Steelers fan that argues that Willie Parker is the best running back in the NFL—he's very good, but he's not the best. These are the people who think that every player on their own team is the greatest player in the NFL.
The Drinking Fan
He may semi-support the team throughout the year, but when the playoffs roll around, he goes to the bars or down to the game or to a party with friends to watch it, just so he can get totally drunk. He usually falls under the category of bandwagon/fair weather fan as well.
The Arguing Fan
Everything you say he will dispute. You could say that Donovan McNabb is the starting quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, or that the Tennessee Titans are the only undefeated team in the NFL, and he will find a way to argue with you. He argues simply for the sake of arguing. It's not so much about the football as it is the arguing.
The Season Ticket Holder Who Doesn't Care That Much about Sports
It makes you mad because he acts like it is the greatest moment of his life when he goes down to the stadium for a big game. Often, this person is not obnoxious about his lucky situation, but it still angers you anyway because you would sell your soul to be in his position.
The Person Who Decides That He Is a Fan of Your Team as a Way of Getting Closer to You
He tries to talk about sports with you, but he has absolutely no clue what he's talking about. He'll come up to you after a big win and act just as excited as you are, when you would rather celebrate with true fans. He'll come up to you after a hard loss and try to console you with inspirational advice, when you would rather just be left alone, basking in your misery.
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