A Day in the Life of the Average WWE Fan
The average fan has many qualities. From passion to loyalty, the fan is what makes the sports world go round. Without fans, the New York Yankees or New England Patriots would not exist.
My favorite part about the fan is the rituals each have in their everyday lives. For example, the Steelers’ have the Terrible Towel, swung in excitement after a play, or just to hold for good luck. Also, in the fourth quarter, when a big stop is needed by the defense, Renegade by Styx is played to get the players pumped.
Is it weird that complete strangers give high-fives or break out in hugs when a touchdown is scored? Not at all, because fans are a universal family member that cheer when good events happen and sob at each sad moment.
Today I am here to discuss an obscure species, the WWE fan.
There are WWE fans and the IWC, but I won't get into that. I don't have the time.
From the fans of Rocky and Austin to Cena and Orton, WWE fans are all the same. It's been said before, wrestling fans love a good soap opera and due to the obscurity of a man watching soap operas, they watch wrestling.
I tend to disagree, because WWE is more than just a soap opera, it's a passion.
Have you ever wondered what a typical day for a WWE fan is like?
Roll the slideshow!
Step 1: Waking Up
The wrestling fan, let's call him Joe, wakes up to his normal alarm clock every morning at 6:00 A.M. Instead of a simple "BEEP BEEP BEEP," his favorite wrestler's theme song comes on.
As a child, you grow up admiring your favorite WWE superstar. Everything from entrance music to his clothes and even his signature taunts, Joe continues to embrace it.
A car crash and somebody asking me if I smell something always gets me through the work day.
Step 2: Daily Prep Routine
After Joe lets his alarm clock run until the song is over, he is ready for the daily morning routine. For the average man, it's the three S's. I won't get into those. After Joe is done with the routine, he instead cuts a promo to the mirror on how he deserves to be a WWE superstar.
It's no secret that every WWE fan's dream is to cut a promo with their favorite wrestler. If you want to live your dream, practice will be needed.
Step 3: Breakfast
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day right? Joe is enjoying his fruity pebbles, no Cena pun intended, and watching highlights from last night's show.
Each superstar eats breakfast to get super strength, I mean look above at Khali. Frightening, huh?
Step 4: Getting Ready for Work
Joe finishes breakfast and now it is time to get ready for that dreadful nine to five job down at the warehouse. Off come the PJ's and on comes the suit and tie.
Before the dress shirt, Joe puts on his lucky WWE t-shirt underneath his white button-down.
That's why Joe's nickname is the Hulkster around the office.
Step 5: The Morning Drive
Joe enters his Honda Accord and is on his way to work. In his vehicle he has WWE action figures hanging from the rearview mirror and has a customized license plate.
It reads, "HULKMNIA".
Step 6: Guilty Pleasures at Work
Joe has a simple job while at work; that is to count the company's money and maintain a plus in revenue sharing.
Most people sit on the computer and play solitaire or go on Facebook. Joe surfs wrestling dirt sheets and tries to get the latest scoop on a wrestler's teased return or storyline update.
Step 7: Boss Interference
Everyone has that one boss who they cannot stand to even look at. Well, the boss calls Joe into his office and discusses his latest shortcomings. When Joe should be listening, he imagines giving him a Stone Cold Stunner in front of the whole staff.
I have to admit even I do that.
Step 8: Impressing the New Intern
At Joe's office, he discovers a new intern has just been hired by the boss. For a split second, he praised the man he wanted to give a stunner to just a bit ago.
Joe approaches the new employee and sweeps her off her feet only the Macho Man could pull off.
Step 9: The Drive Home
Each drive home involves a lot of patience and split-decision merging of lanes. Joe decides to diminish the pressure by blasting Motorhead.
If Joe gets bored, he has every volume of WWE entrance songs in their entirety.
In this instance, bow down to the king.
Step 10: Taking Care of the Pets
Joe arrives home and his dog and cat are anxious to see their owner. Once he collects himself, Joe feeds Road Dogg and his cat Sunny.
To make it more of a coincidence, Road Dogg is a bulldog and Sunny is an innocent little kitten.
Coincidence, I think not.
Step 11: Dinner Time
Joe is on a fixed budget and cannot afford five-star courses. Instead, he lives with what he has and pops his TV dinner in the microwave, in fond memory of Andre the Giant.
Step 12: Ritual Before the Show Begins
It's 8:00 and Monday Night Raw starts in one hour. For Joe's pre-show ritual, he pops in his favorite wrestling match and looks through his dad's old wrestling magazines from the 1960's.
From Bruno Sammartino to Gorilla Monsoon, he relives the good ol' days of studio wrestling.
Step 13: Show Attire
Call it what you will, but every fan has their own special attire for the big game/show. Joe decides to search through his wrestling closet and find the Monday Night Raw shirt.
Joe throws on his Undertaker t-shirt and is ready for the show to begin.
Step 14: Showtime
The show begins and they air the normal video package. Joe picks up his beverage of choice and announced the introduction just like Jim Ross would.
In his man cave, nobody can hear the avid WWE fan go nuts when the clock strikes 9:00 P.M. To his right, WWE ice cream bars are stacked in the freezer. To his left, WWE collector cups with two liters and chips are stockpiled like at a convenience store.
To some it is crazy, but to Joe it is paradise.
Step 15: Post-Game Blogging
After the impact-filled WWE program, Joe hits the wrestling dirt sheets to once again see what happened after it went off the air.
Also, he enters his own blog to write about how his favorite superstar is jobbing to the younger guys and WWE brass isn't booking him properly.
I didn't know Joe's favorite superstar is the Big Show.
Step 16: Bedtime
After a long-filled day, Joe is ready to hit the hay. He slips on his WWE t-shirt his mom bought him when he was a little kid and sets the alarm for tomorrow's eventful day.
As Joe stares up to the Hulk Hogan poster above his bed, he says in a feint voice, "Joe-aMania is running wild" and drifts to sleep.
In a nutshell, we witness the average day of a WWE fan. Joe secretly lives and breathes the business he has loved since he was a little kid.
From ice cream bars to wrestling dirt-sheets, the average WWE fan always has enough time to dedicate a part of himself to his sport of choice.
Like I said in the introduction, fans are the best part about each sport.
I hoped you guys enjoyed the slideshow. Please comment below and if you happened to enjoy this article. Just hit me up with some props below as well.
Well, it's bedtime—got to find my HBK t-shirt.
That's right. I'm a Paul Heyman guy.