Schumacher Is Gay! All Together Now... (Humor)

A seedy tale emerges in the wake of the Brazilian GP.

What can you do when you just drove the race of your life and still lost out on a world title mere seconds after you crossed the line?

And how are you going to celebrate when you realize that switching teams turns out to be the worst decision you have ever made?

When your name is Felipe Massa and Rubens Barrichello, the only thing to do was hit the town after the race on Sunday and drink. A lot. The chosen place was a bar called “Disco” in downtown Sao Paolo.

According to the Brazilian newspaper Lance, Massa arrived somewhat later at the bar than Barrichello. Rubinho was already in a drunken stupor when the “World champ for 39 seconds” showed up. Massa apparently wasted no time in catching up with Barrichello.

Severely animated, the two Formula 1 drivers stumbled onto the stage of the bar and Michael Schumacher was chosen to be the butt of the joke. Pun intended.

Rubens grabbed a microphone and started belting out the words “Schumacher viado!” “Schumacher is gay!” Eyewitnesses say that Massa was a bit reluctant at first. But when Rubens threw his arm around him, the amount of caipirinhas got the better of the little Brazilian and he decided to join in the chant. Eventually the rest of the clientele in the bar joined in the sing-along.

Is Schumi planning a comeback? To the insults, I mean.

It would be easy to draw some conclusions to Barrichello's motives here. Being in the shadow of the seven-time champion during his entire six-year stay with Ferrari can cause frustration. And when he finally did break out of Schumacher's shadow, it was only to find himself in a backmarker team.

But Massa? Schumacher's prodigy? I can hear Schumacher now: Et tu, Massa? Et tu?