Oddsmakers: Gary Pinkel's Future Possibilities

Matt ThielSenior Analyst INovember 6, 2008

Does Gary Pinkel stay or does he roll his Harley out of CoMo? We probably won't find out until mid-December at the earliest, but that doesn't matter. We can gamble on what will happen!


Stays with Mizzou: 92 percent

The easiest choice, and you'd probably have to be retarded to think otherwise. Hell, GP's mentor Don James thinks he'd be an idiot to move on! It will take a new contract and a Brinks truck full of dead guys from the 1800s, but a smart bet would be that he's rolling around in gold coins like Scrooge McDuck from DuckTales by January.


Heads to Washington: 6 percent

GP sucked on the coaching teat of Don James in Seattle and could be somewhat interested. On the flip, the program is in worse shape than Glass Joe's jaw and needs to be rebuilt from the ground up. Lane Kiffin or Steve Sarkisian from USC would be perfect. And, shit, have you seen Deadliest Catch? Every season starts in the Pudget Sound.


Goes back to Toledo: 1 percent

Tom Amstutz, a Mark Mangino ringer, is out in Toledo. GP was the head coach of Toledo before heading to Columbia, and...he...Seriously, there's no way he's going to Toledo. Amstutz has better odds of finishing 10 Hardees Thickburgers in a half hour while riding a unicycle than GP heading back to Toledo.

Better odds: Matt Ebuflus heads east and Amstutz takes over as GP's defensive coordinator, you know, like he did for a few days when GP quit and took Amstutz to CoMo with him. You remember, right?


Heads to Rocky Top: 1 percent

Since I just moved to Knoxvegas, I get the full on of Vols football. I don't really have pro/con feelings toward the Vols, but I did get to see Phil Fulmer get the walking papers and had some ass clown ask me how much it would take to get Pinkel to Knoxville. Great city, but I will say there is no way in hell he'd go to an SEC school.

UT would have a ton of money, and that whole spread offense thing works pretty well in the SEC, but after looking at Rich Rod at Michigan trying to turn an offense into a spread offense, I don't see why GP would want to give Tennessee a thought. There's no way the Michigan thing will end pretty over the next couple of years.

I'm doubting UT would go after Pinkel, but, then again, I saw Brian Kelly from Cincy's name show up and Pinkel is a better coach. Look up hype in the dictionary and you may see a picture of Will Muschamp and Brian Kelly eating puppies at a Shoney's with their DeLorean outside.