The Future of Football—Cybernetic Footballing Organisms

illya mclellan@illya mclellan @illbehaviorNZSenior Analyst INovember 5, 2008

What is the future of football you might ask? Where will football be played? Who will the teams be?

The future of football is so strange and overwhelmingly bizarre that you may think it impossibly unrealistic.

With the almighty dollar proving to be the most powerful force in the game now, it is perhaps inevitable that one day we will see teams that are made up of representatives of huge global corporations.

The population of the world condenses itself as it expands in every direction, and so to do idea's of parochialism and localised areas of influence.

How can the club sides continue to exist when no-one knows why they exist?

A large proportion of the worlds top football clubs are in such a horrible financial situation now that it may not be long before we see them being purchased and re-branded by the purchaser.

This does not of course bring to mind the title of my article yet but it does provide the platform from which such a vision could bring itself to fruition.

For these multi-national corporate teams of the future will be solely about entertainment and the revenue that this entertainment can generate.

After a time the controllers of these teams will realise that it would be better if they had humanoid robotic organisms in their teams as they would not require the same level of input that perhaps an actual human would.

This would lead to the first auto-human footballers.

Players with enhanced physical abilities given to them by the implanting of chips and mechanical micro parts that would enable them to play football like the world has never seen.

Imagine a goal where the keeper flicks the ball up in his box, bicycle kicks the ball to the left back, who in turn bicycle kicks the ball across field to the right wing, who does the same to the striker,who then bicycle kicks the ball into the goal! The quadruple bicycle kick goal of the new age of football!

You may think that this article has descended into the realm of the absurd about now.

The reality is my friends, that this is far from absurd. As you read this, developers at the University of Plymouth are hard at work on robotic football, and its components, as they prepare for a new age.

Football is being thrust into the future by the technologies that it has resisted for so long.

Prepare yourself for a brave new world. A brave new world of cybernetic football in the intergalactic league of tomorrow.