It was a frustrating Sunday evening for Cheesehead nation. Last week, not only did the Green Bay Packers lose a surprising overtime contest to the New York Giants that sent Big Blue to Arizona ...

Packers News: Brett Favre Blames Playoff Loss on Love for Center Wells

by Andrew Schiff (Analyst)

4039 reads

Humor

January 27, 2008

It was a frustrating Sunday evening for Cheesehead nation.

Last week, not only did the Green Bay Packers lose a surprising overtime contest to the New York Giants that sent Big Blue to Arizona for next week's Super Bowl—but an even more stunning piece of news crept across the land:

Brett Favre's admission for his love for center Scott Wells.

Not only did Favre come out of the closet, as it were, but he blamed his poor play not on the frigid, subzero conditions, but on his strong sexual attractions for the beefy 6’3” center out of Tennessee.

"Look," a nervous Favre said in a press conference. "I've been thinking about this for a while, letting everyone know for my love for this man—our love, really."

B/R Ticket Guide

It all began innocently enough several years ago when the young center began snapping the ball to the legendary quarterback.

"I was scared at first," Wells admitted. "He had such a reputation around camp. But he was so gentle when he placed his hands right under me...I got chills."

Favre and his wife Deanna had separated months ago, but for obvious reasons, she kept showing up for Packers games anyway to protect the quarterback's reputation.

"I wish Brett only the best; I had suspected this for a long time," a weepy Deanna said. "He's a wonderful father."

The Favres have agreed to an amicable divorce. They will share custody of their two daughters Brittany and Breleigh.

Favre's mother Bonita was also not surprised to learn the news.

"Brett was a special child," Mrs. Favre relates. "True, he was a great athlete on the playing field, and excelled at everything masculine, but that was only one side of him."

There was another side of Brett that no one knew, and everyone will know, now.

For instance, Favre loved ballet, Broadway musicals, and was a huge fan of Liza Minelli. Given his conservative Southern roots, it was difficult to be the "real" Brett Favre.

"Now I can be myself, finally," Brett said recently at the home he and Wells share, their jerseys draped next to each other, side-by-side, on the satin couch they recently purchased.

Wells held Favre's hand as they two looked off into the sunset.

Both have denied rumors that they have mutually requested a trade to the San Francisco 49ers.

comments (95) write a comment »

reply to comment by sean
10 months ago

wow you really need to get a fucking life you call yourself a reporter this is fucking garbage.
reply to comment by Andrew
10 months ago

It part of the Humor Bowl you fucking idiot. You need a fuckign sense of humor.
1. by Marcus
  from 10 months ago
  
  Seems to me the Humor Bowl is something that is suppose to be humorous. That really wasn't that funny at all, and I'm a Vikings fan so I'm not just an angry Packer fan.
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

I'm surprised you're not a comedian, that was absolute so friggin hilarious, I mean how did you come up with that. People we have a comic genius on our hands. Please remember me when you're famous.
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1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  How can I remember you when I don't even know who the fuck you are?
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Is this what you fantasize about watching brett favre have gay sex?
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1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  No, my fantasy is watching you have gay sex with Brett Favre.
  [edit] [delete]
2. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Wtih him being the pitcher, of course.
  [edit] [delete]
3. by sam
  from 10 months ago
  
  so you do fantasize about brett favre having gay sex.
  [edit] [delete]
4. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Don't all football fans. After all, who else would watch a bunch of men pile driving each other play after play.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by jeff
10 months ago

stick to baseball in Israel. you could have a Palestine v. Israel SB of baseball. no one wins = the game's called 'cause the players all killed each other. then the coaching staff killed each other. then the fans killed each other. then the stadium imploded. and it was a desert all over again.
reply to comment by Andrew
10 months ago

Funny you mention that Jeff, at the beginning of next season, they will have Mahmoud Abbas, the head of the PLO, throw out the inagural first bomb.
reply to comment by Craig
10 months ago

This is retarded.
reply to comment by Jim
10 months ago

Wow. That was really lame.
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Yeah, lame, just like Brett Favre throwing into double coverage.
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Oh, man, the stereotype of gays liking Liza Minelli, that's a good one, very fresh. And the center/quarterback gay thing - wow - so startlingly original that the mind reels wondering where in the deep reaches of the comic psyche you pulled it out of.
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Oh, man, the stereotype of gays liking Liza Minelli, that's a good one, very fresh. And the center/quarterback gay thing - wow - so startlingly original that the mind reels wondering where in the deep reaches of the comic psyche you pulled it out of.
[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  You're right about Liza Minelli. I should have used Judy Garland instead.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by jeff
10 months ago

that's great andrew. when Mahmoud Abbas, the head of the PLO, is there to throw out the first bomb, will you be in the stands? if not, i'll buy you a one-way ticket.
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Jeff, that's very funny. Why don't you do a spoof on baseball in Israel and use some of those scenarios you described so well. I'd love to read it.
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

I guess I missed the funny bits. Perhaps it would help if you went back and highlighted the portions you actually thought were funny.

Oh, and Andrew, way to show you maturity as a comedian and as a person by dropping f-bombs in your responses to others comments. If this comedy thing doesn't work for you, maybe you could try politics... or garbage collecting.
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Andrew, you are a major Douche Bag.

I am a Cowboys fan, but I respect Favre. I seriously can't believe they pay you to write this garbage.

Guaranteed you would never say this crap to Favre's face...not like he would ever give a clown like you the chance to interview him.

Seriously, its not funny at all...its retarded.

[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Yeah, I would say it to his face. He'd probably think its funny.
  [edit] [delete]
2. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Hey Cowboys fan, I will be writing my next expose on Tony Romo's relationship with Terrel Owens.
  
  Owens: "Your talking about my quarterback...wah, wah. wah."
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

It's just another in a series of articles that Andrew has written trashing Farve...just ignore him and maybe he'll go away...
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Don't think I will be wasting my money on Andrew Schiff's book:

"The Father of Baseball: A Biography of Henry Chadwick"

I wonder if he also uses F Bombs in his book too? Guess I'll never know.

[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Perhaps you have a point about my use of the F-Bomb.
  
  At least you now have some idea about who Henry Chadwick is. That's just as important as to whether you buy my book.
  [edit] [delete]
2. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Perhaps you have a point about my use of the F-Bomb.
  
  At least you now have some idea about who Henry Chadwick is. That's just as important as to whether you buy my book.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Okay, jerk-offs, get over it. Just because Brett Favre is one of the best doesnt mean you have to put him down. This is supposed to be the Humor Bowl, not the Gay Fantasies Bowl. Get a freakin life.
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

they pay you to write this crap?? You wouldnt ever say this to Favre's face... Probably because you'd never get within 100 yards of him, because you arent worth his time, Andrew.
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reply to comment by Andrew
10 months ago

Honestly, I would have no problem getting this article to him. If someone has a way to email it to him or any other way, I'd love it.
1. by Marcus
  from 10 months ago
  
  You are so full of B.S. Andrew. You talk a big game and all you have to show for it is a tasteless, sterotypical article that you and you only think is funny. You are not much of a comedian if this is the crap you think is good material. You also are not very mature when you have to resort to comebacks like "get a fucking sense of humor." Here's a tip for your career as a comedian: If you have to tell your audience to laugh...YOU'RE NOT FUNNY!
2. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  I'm surprised someone as PC as you would be on the bleacherreport.com.
  
  There a thousand years of classical literature and comedy based on stereotypes.
  
  You're entitled to your opinion about whether you think I'm funny or not. Can't argue there.
3. by Marcus
  from 10 months ago
  
  Yeah I know there are thousands of years of classical literature and comedy based on sterotypes. Heres the problem: The shit that you just wrote isn't classical literature or comedy. Stereotypes are funny but you went with some of the lamest stereotypes you can use.
4. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Wow Marcus, maybe when you write your next article, you can actually get more than one response.
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

They say you write what you know, so it is very telling how focused you are on homosexuality.
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

They say you write what you know, so it is very telling how focused you are on homosexuality.
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reply to comment by Mark
10 months ago

This is disturbing, not funny. Is it hard to breathe with your head so far up your ass?
**Deadeye
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

I'm a Bears fan and to date have loved anything that trashed the Packers... well Andrew, there goes that record... tasteless, just tasteless. Oh, if as you say, Farve found it funny, that would make 2 people on the planet who did -- him and you.
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Make that two Bears fans that think this is a smelly piece of crap

Da Bears
[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Would you two have felt better if I had trashed Dick Butkus?
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by m
10 months ago

You are an ass!
reply to comment by Andrew
10 months ago

Thank you very much.
reply to comment by Mark
10 months ago

Maybe you should just admit that this is not funny and was a poorly conceived idea. An eight year old says stuff like, "He's gay!!" and then busts up laughing. Gay!! Ha Ha!! Homo!! A real knee slapper!!
Print this out, staple to the wall of your cubicle and use it as a guide how not to be funny. The bright side is your next article will undoubtedly be better.
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

I'll never come back to Bleacherreport.com....I'll get my sports news from espn and deadspin.com.

Seriously, I'm done with this website.

This website is a joke if they hire clowns like Andrew Schiff.

[edit] [delete]
1. by Dave
  from 10 months ago
  
  For the record, Bleacher Report didn't hire Andrew Schiff, he's an independent writer who has chosen Bleacher Report as a platform to host and distribute his writing on the web (just like every other Bleacher Report writer).
  
  As to whether this article is funny or not, well....no comment.
  [edit] [delete]
2. by Zander
  from 10 months ago
  
  I for one think it was funny. Everyone seems to find Andrew's articles offensive or something, but I'm really not sure why.
  
  The thought of Brett Favre and his center having a secret love affair—and this being at the root of Favre's meltdown last weekend (rather than the sub-zero temperatures in Lambeau) is amusing, is it not?
  
  I love Brett Favre more than any 49ers fan ever could. I cherish what the man did for the game and all of the great moments he gave me throughout my life. I've written several articles for Bleacher Report about his greatness and have commented on many others which also honor the man.
  
  But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good joke when I see one. This article got me laughing...and I'm not ashamed to admit it.
  
  That shouldn't make me guilty of being a homophobe, or a Brett Favre hater, or whatever cuss word all of you have for a man who laughs at such an article—it just means I thought the idea of Brett Favre and his young center being in love was humorous.
  
  Come on, lighten up people!
  [edit] [delete]
3. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  No, Zander, you're ruining it for me. Its a true story, true I tell you. :)
  
  Thanks for the support, pal.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Thanks for the clarification Dave.

I love the website for the most part...this guy's purportedly humerous story was just stupid though.
[edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

are u a fuckin moron its people like u who ruin the whole point of football and defame such a great future hall or famer like favre comin from the mouth of a 16 yr old kid i wish i could find u and kick ur ass for even sayin such things get a fuckin life u piece of shit
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

are u a fuckin moron its people like u who ruin the whole point of football and defame such a great future hall or famer like favre comin from the mouth of a 16 yr old kid i wish i could find u and kick ur ass for even sayin such things get a fuckin life u piece of shit
[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  If it makes you feel any better, I wish I could kick your ass too.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Here's an article about the guy you are trying to make fun of....Please scroll down to the second article on this page titled "Good Feeling No. 2"

http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080127/GPG07/801270748/1207/GPGnews
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reply to comment by Tim
10 months ago

Is this suppose to be funny? I read it waiting for the punch line. Are you a comedian or a reporter? From anyway to look at this article it's just a pile of crap.

Great jog Drew... YOU SUCK!!
reply to comment by Dug
10 months ago

Andrew, What a waste of letters. Why not write about something you find positive about something rather than this pile of garbage? You have wasted your questionable talents on:
1. Decent Article on baseball's best fielders
2. and 3. very ignorant essays on the Packers and how much you hate them.

What the hell??
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Hey Dug,
  
  Listen, this is part of the Humor Bowl.
  
  I don't hate the Packers. I don't even hate BF.
  
  I have only great respect for the team and its history. Vince Lombardi, Jim Ringo, Max McGhee, Bart Starr. Even Lynn Dickey for crying out loud!
  
  Thanks for thinking my article on baseball's best fielders was decent.
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Wow three cheers for Andrew and his lame "comedy" report on one of the most loved sports personalities of our time. What is your follow up article, that Mother Teresa was a dyke? You're a hoot.

Favre has accomplished more already than you could ever dream of doing in your worthless life. If writing inane articles like this makes you happy, then you are in need of psychological help.
[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  You have set me straight.
  
  I have cancelled my Super Bowl expose of Mother Theresa.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

I was being sarcastic, and if you didn't pick up on it I was being sarcastic about the comedian thing too.
[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  I picked up on the sarcasm. I used the fact that you were anonymous and saying that I should remember you with the F-word for affect. Silly goose.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

guys quit harping and bullying andrew we should just leave him alone.......................................with images of brett favre naked in his mind
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reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Packers suck....but Favre's the man!! The NFL wont be the same without him.
[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  I neither will the Packers offensive line.
  [edit] [delete]
2. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  And neither will the Packers offensive line.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Andrew you stupid idiot!!

You are embarrassing our family name and making us all look like ignorant ass holes again!!
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reply to comment by Andrew's mom
10 months ago

I agree! Stop being a dumbass Andrew!!
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Sorry, mom.
reply to comment by Carrie
10 months ago

The Bleacher Report huh? Kinda like you were they guy who loved the game but sucked at it, so you could only watch from the bleachers right? Just a guess...but you were the guy in the back of the classroom who failed Journalism!! National Enquirer never even called ya back did they? Sucks to be you I guess...but what must suck even more is to be your wife...wait...probably don't have one, so nevermind! But there really has to be a better way for you to "come out"!
reply to comment by Andrew
10 months ago

Carrie, wasn't there a movie made about you? You know the Stephen King novel. Was it based on you?
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Ummmm wow, I guess bashing someone famous is the only way people read his articles.
[edit] [delete]
1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Ummmm wow, good use of the English language.
  
  [edit] [delete]
2. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  Ummmm wow, good use of the English language.
  
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

He noticed how much attention he got from his previous Brett Favre "article" he decided to write some more crap, please people don't bother responding to this idiot.
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1. by Andrew
  from 10 months ago
  
  You mean like the way you have.
  [edit] [delete]
reply to comment by Andrew
10 months ago

Ummm wow. Good use of the English language.
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

Hey Andrew, you know I think you're lookin migthy cute in that tutu your wearing. I think I'm gonna rip my love juice all over your face. You excite me. I lavish in the thought of ramming your brown star with my enormity. I bet if Brett had his way with you, you would look like wiley coyote at the bottom of the canyon all spread out with your shinny ass glistening in the sun. Butt since yer into the gay thing and all, it would probably just be another day without grease..

I love you..

Steve
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reply to comment by Andrew
10 months ago

Thanks for the sentiments. Have you thought about working for Halmark?
reply to comment by Everybody reading this
10 months ago

The only thing that's funny about this article is your profile picture!!! Hahahaha DORK!!!
reply to comment by Anonymous
10 months ago

You're ruining your supposed career with articles like this.
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reply to comment

Packers News: Brett Favre Blames Playoff Loss on Love for Center Wells

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