Circumcising Mosquitoes: 5 Spaceballs Quotes Better Than Jerry Jones' NFL Gem
ESPN's Adam Schefter tweeted, "Jerry Jones says labor deal is down to "circumsizing mosquitoes."
Wow, so after 128 days we are down to the circumcision of mosquitoes. That's really the best analogy that he could come up with? When you really think about it, attempting to perform such a feat would be quite difficult, delicate, and time consuming.
What does that say about the lockout? Are we a delicate snip away from success or is the situation so delicate that one slight mishap and the whole thing could be lost?
Jerry Jones would've been better referring to the movie Spaceballs for some quotable inspiration. Here are five Spaceballs quotes that would have described the NFL lockout better than helping control the mosquito population.
Jamal Wilburg is a Featured Columnist for Bleacher Report.
You can follow him on Twitter @JWilburg
All movie quotes taken from The Internet Movie Database.
Hey! I Don't Have to Put Up with This! I'm Rich!
1 of 5Isn't this pretty much what the owners stance has been during the lockout? The owners figured they had other avenues of income and would squeeze the players until they needed to get paychecks. In the end, the owners will get most of what they wanted.
Merchandising
2 of 5Here is my creative re-interpretation of this scene featuring Jones as Yogurt and the little guys as Roger Goodell and the other NFL owners:
Jones: Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Lockout: The T-shirt, Lockout: The Coloring Book, Lockout: The Lunch box, Lockout: The Breakfast Cereal, Lockout: The Flame Thrower.
[turns it on]
Owners: Ooooh!
Jones: [reacts to dinks] The kids love this one.
[a owner hands him a doll that looks likes DeMaurice Smith]
Jones: And last but not least, Spaceballs the doll, Demaurice.
[pulls string]
Doll: STAND DOWN!
Jones: [kisses the doll] Adorable.
We're Not Just Doing It for the Money
3 of 5No creative re-interpretation needed for this one.
Warning: Language NSFW.
It's Gone from Suck To Blow
4 of 5Jones' message to the fans as Women's World Cup is the most interesting football being played and discussed throughout the sports world as the lockout continues.
We'll All Meet Again
5 of 5Another creative reinterpretation of the final lockout meeting:
DeMaurice Smith: I wonder, will we ever see each other again?
Jones: Who knows? God willing, we'll all meet again in Lockout 2: The Search for More Money.
Yup, when the lockout ends, enjoy the labor peace while it lasts because 2021 is going to be ugly.
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