New York Yankees Coffee Talk: Why CC Sabathia Is Not Going to the Phillies

Every afternoon, I hit up Starbucks for my midday coffee fix, and today was no different.

As I waited for my triple-skim-grande-wet cappuccino with an extra shot, the part time manager was behind the machines and he happens to be a huge Seattle Mariners fan, as well as a stats guru.

Having our normal banter, I told him how good young ace Michael Pineda looked and was surprised that he had no innings limit for the rest of 2011.

Also, I said that in if Seattle could trade for a legit, big bat they could win the AL West. He disagreed completely, but was happy that I took notice.

As he handed me my drink, we are going back and forth about pitching, he remark about how stellar CC Sabathia has been. I concurred, and went on to ramble about how lucky the Yankees were to have Sabathia.

That is until I heard this angry voice behind me say, “Sabathia is not a good pitcher, not even close.”

In complete shock, I spun around to see a larger woman glaring at me with a Philadelphia Phillies lanyard around her neck.

Rarely am I ever at a loss for words, but in this instance I froze. The woman didn’t stop, as she continued on her crusade.

“Sabathia stinks in the postseason, like he did in 2009. He is not good at all."

My shock quickly turned to anger. “Do you not remember 2009?" I said. "FYI...Your Phillies are not the ones with the World Series rings.”

Not responding to my question, this Philly fan went on a tangent, “Sabathia is gone after this year anyway because he is going to become a free agent and go elsewhere. He wants to leave too for more money.”

She was half-right, but I corrected her. “Of course Sabathia will opt out, and the Yankees will pay up ASAP to make sure he stays," I said. "That is the only reason Sabathia would hit the free-agent market, it would be dumb if he didn’t use the clause in his favor.” 

Not liking my answer, she responded, “The Yankees can’t afford him. You can kiss him goodbye, like Cliff Lee, end of story.”

Now she was talking crazy, but I looked her dead in the eye and said, “Money is the least of the Yankees' problems. You are implying that Philly will go after Sabathia but it is no secret that Phillies ownership was tapped out after Lee signed. Your Phillies have no righty bat and if they had the money Jayson Werth would still be a Philly.”

She started following me as I walked towards the door and started yelling, “Oh yeah, you just wait and see the Phillies can get whomever they want. Sabathia is as good as gone. Remember what happened last year?“

Not being able to help myself, I turned around and reiterated her original argument, “Excuse me but according to you Sabathia is not a good pitcher! Now your Phillies want him? And can afford a contract bigger than Lee’s?”

She looked back at me with a silent death stare.

I glared back, and wanted to yell, "It was so nice meeting you, but my advice is to take your head out of your large ass. Fact is, Sabathia is staying, and your Phillies can’t spend more money. Please remove that Philly lanyard because it is cutting off the oxygen to your brain and muddying your judgment.’

Instead I just turned and walked away, but my blood was boiling.

How the hell could a person, even a Phillies fan, utter such foolish comments—and in a packed Starbucks in New York City? Obviously this woman loves her team, but come on….

I forced myself not to turn back, but I could sense her eyes on my back as I walked up the block.

Guess I can add ignorant fool ’to my ever-growing, Why The Phillies Need Better Fans Because They Are The Worst list.

This "rumor"—or fact, unless you live in the crazy, Phanatic lady’s head—is NEVER going to happen; even if the Phillies had money to spend, Sabathia would/could never do that to the pinstripes.