Build Your Own Sports Halloween Costume! (For 2009!)

Eric GomezAnalyst INovember 2, 2008

It's never too early to start planning, folks. Sure, Halloween is barely over—but does that mean you can't already start to think about what you're going to be next year?

Why bore everyone with uninspiring superhero costumes, or get uncomfortable laughs when you're trying to explain that awkward "concept" costume?

"Ohh, you're wearing a you have a 'heart on'. Haha...yeah."

Next year, go as your favorite athlete and be the life of the party! Just follow these simple steps and you'll be a trick-or-treat hit!

The Rafael Nadal

You'll Need:
A long, straight-haired brown wig
A sleeveless athletic shirt
A headband
A tennis racket
Copious amounts of sweat

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Place wig on head and headband around wig.
Spray fake sweat over your face and arms.
Hold racket in one hand, walking around town winking to every woman, man, child, and pet.
Constantly attempt to wipe sweat off face even though there is no sleeve to absorb sweat and apparently not minding the fact that arm is equally drenched.
Should someone mention Roger Federer, spit in their drink.

The Terrell Owens

You'll Need:
A No. 81 Dallas Cowboys Jersey
A razor
Fake muscles

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Shave head with razor.
Place fake muscles over torso and arms.
Wear jersey over muscles.
Smile constantly, nodding head incessantly.
Walk up to random people on street introducing yourself as "Terrell Owens, God's gift to Quarterbacks."
Jealously demand that you get more candy from neighbors than "that kid dressed as Harry Potter."

The John Daly

You'll Need:
A blond wig
Fake belly/Pillows
XXL Polo Shirt
Golf Club
Glass of whiskey

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Place wig on head.
Strap pillows or fake belly to torso.
Wear shirt over torso.
Put golf club in left hand, glass of whiskey in right.
Never stop drinking. Whatever you do. Never stop drinking.
Hit on women constantly and tell them you'll show them how you can get a "hole in one."
Utilize golf club to viciously attack anyone who rubs you the wrong way.
Pose for mug shot.

The US National Soccer Team Player

You'll Need:
A US National Soccer Team jersey
A soccer ball

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Wear jersey and shorts.
Hold soccer ball in one hand and against hip.

Walk up to people and say "Hi, I'm Landon Donovan/Jozy Altidore/Tim Howard, and I'm a player for the US National Soccer Team."
When person responds with confused look and says "Who?" Throw soccer ball at them and run away crying.

The John Kruk

You'll Need:
A Chewbacca costume

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Wear Chewbacca costume.

When recognized as "John Kruk" by strangers, offer to dispense baseball wisdom in exchange for a roast beef sandwich. Or four.

The Mike Shanahan

You'll Need:
Denver Broncos windbreaker
Horse head mask
Headset with microphone

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Wear windbreaker.
Place mask on face.
Position headset over mask.
Make sure horse head mask's teeth are clearly visible to all.
Shake head vigorously (and neigh) after every Jay Cutler interception.

The Southern College Football Fan

You'll Need:
A t-shirt, baseball cap, sweatshirt, pants, shoes, socks, underwear, and fake tattoo emblazoned with any Southern state college football program logo.

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Wear all items of clothing.
When someone asks you "Hey, what year did you graduate from _______ University/College/A&M?" answer with "Oh, me? I didn't go to college."
After your response, observe as person walks away nodding, with smug look on his/her face.

The Cristiano Ronaldo

You'll Need:
An eyebrow plucker
Hair gel
Blush, lipstick, and eye shadow
A Manchester United jersey
A razor

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NOTE: This costume is suitable for both men and women.
Wear jersey and shorts.
Use razor to shave legs.
Dump container of hair gel over head, style accordingly.
Pluck eyebrows, use remaining hair gel to style.
Place makeup on face so that lips look rich and full, cheekbones are high and eyes look glamorous.
Fall and clutch face any time someone makes any physical contact with you.

The Michael Phelps

You'll Need:
A Speedo
The ability to swim faster than a dolphin
Eight gold medals

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Yeah, right. Like you can pull this off.