The 30 Most Regrettable Jock Pictures in Sports

Timothy RappFeatured ColumnistJuly 5, 2011

The 30 Most Regrettable Jock Pictures in Sports

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    It's happened to us all—you have a crazy night on the town with some great friends, you check Facebook the next day, and littered throughout a photo album made of the night's events are some truly horrible pictures of you.

    Unflattering facial expressions, awkward dancing, conversations taking place between friends with only two inches separating each person's face.

    It happens.

    Athletes are no exception, though because they are photographed so often, there are far more opportunities to catch them in some rather regrettable situations or positions.

    And we're here to present them to you.


    (Note: There will be no instances of the ever-popular "manhood photo" that athletes love to share on the Internet, though I'm sure guys like Greg Oden probably regret doing it. Nonetheless, I didn't want to go there on this slideshow, for obvious reasons.)

30. Bob Huggins and Da'Sean Butler

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    Listen, I am aware of the back story on this photo: Huggins was consoling Butler, who had just injured his knee and was in both physical and emotional distress.

    In one sense, it was an extremely touching moment (no pun intended—seriously).

    On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised if Butler saw this photo and thought to himself, "Damn Coach, you know I love you and appreciated you trying to console me. But did you have to embrace me like that?"

    You have no idea how hard it was for me to resist making a "hug" and "Huggins" pun.

    I'm growing up.

29. Yao Ming

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    And here marks both the beginning and end of the failed "flavored deodorant" experiment.

    "Mountain Berry Refresh"—we will miss you.

28. Tommy Kelly

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    During high-pressure, late-game situations, coaches will often remind their players not to lose their heads.

    The same applies to their pants.

27. Michael Jordan

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    Wanna be like Mike?

    Now potheads everywhere have a euphemism for asking friends if they want to join them in some Mary Jane action.

26. Flavia Zoccari

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    What else can you say except for "that really sucks."

    Especially when it gets you disqualified from the race. No joke.

25. Ricky Berens

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    When a swimmer's suit rips in such a fashion, it is referred to as a "moon roof."

    Okay, okay, so I just made that up. But it should be called a "moon roof" from here on out.

24. Missouri Is for Lovers?

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    The mischievous kiss-cam operator strikes again!

23. Steve Nash

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    I'm a huge fan of Steve Nash, and I'm certainly all for having some fun and cutting loose. Life is short, after all, so you might as well have a good time.

    But if I was one of Steve's boys on this particular evening, I'd definitely mention that he might want to take it easy on "presenting himself."

    Just a suggestion.

22. Drew Gooden

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    There is a whole lot that is regrettable about this picture.

    First of all, the whole "rock on!" gesture while sticking out the tongue is totally cliché.

    Oh, and the sideburns/beard situation is fairly tragic as well.

21. Ben Roethlisberger

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    Why do people still wear un-ironic mullets? At a time when Big Ben was considered by the majority of the public to be a sleazeball, he held a press conference rocking this haircut, which confirmed to many that he was, in fact, a sleazeball.

    At least in this photo he had a respectable haircut.

20. Devin Hester

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    Listen Devin, getting pantsed happens to the best—and worst—of us.

19. Luke Walton Sandwich

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    I've heard of teammates bonding, but this is ridiculous.

    And yes, that is Karl Malone.

18. Vince Young

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    The beginning of the end for Vince Young.

17. Ricky Williams and Mike Ditka

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    If I were Williams' teammate, I would have jokingly referred to him as a "rushing bride" for weeks after this photo.

    I may even have serenaded him and changed a few lyrics around to poke fun of him.

16. Dennis Rodman

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    And thus concludes the wedding dress portion of the program.

15. Sonny Liston

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    This photograph of Muhammad Ali standing over Sonny Liston is often regarded as one of the finest photographs in sports history.

    It's an amazing photo, especially coming from Ali's perspective.

    But what if you were Sonny Liston and constantly had to see this photo with you sprawled out on the canvass? You would really regret (despise) this moment, right?

    There are a ton of these photos out there, where one man's glory exposes another man's loss (they even invented a term for the phenomenon, which is called getting "posterized"). I chose this one to represent the occurrence, as it is probably the most famous of them all.

14. Barry Bonds

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    If I were Barry Bonds, I would hate photos from the Pirates days—they basically serve as proof he later did steroids.

    Go ahead, look for yourself.

13. Soccer Players "Warming" Up

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    Honestly, my favorite aspect of this photo is the player in the background who appears to be taking in the action and shouting out instructions.

    Here's the part of the slideshow where you get to make "Bend It Like (blank)" jokes—have fun!

12. Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo

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    In typical soccer fashion, Ronaldo didn't need to use his hands.

11. Baron Davis

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    You probably think Baron Davis is giving the peace sign in this picture, right?


    Somebody actually just asked him how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

    He was so drunk he got the answer wrong—everyone knows it takes three.

10. Stephen Jackson and Don Nelson

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    Even if Stephen Jackson wasn't in this picture, Don Nelson's pose would still be funny.

    But Stephen Jackson makes it that much better.

9. Mike Dunleavy

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    Athlete or not, who wouldn't regret this picture?

    I think we have a "belch photo" happening right here.

8. Rex Grossman

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    Grossman's NFL career was a pretty rough one, huh?

7. Phil Mickelson

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    One way or the other, I'm going to entitle this photo "Bogey."

    Honestly, I think it somehow works as both an innuendo and an honest depiction of the reaction taking place here.

6. Brad May Makes Contact

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    Apparently, all of the fighting in hockey is due to a large amount of suppressed sexual tension.

    Who knew?

5. Jeff Reed

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    Pauly D saw this picture and was like, "Yo, I gotta brush up my game—that guy's got all kinds of style, for real."

    Or something less intelligible than that.

4. Blocking Can Be Foul

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    This is one way to take a charge.

3. Sam Cassell

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    This trainer really loves his job.

    There are about a thousand theoretical names I want to call the stretch this trainer is performing on Cassell, but it simply wouldn't be appropriate.

    So just go here and knock yourself out.

2. Committed Runner

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    First of all, this is really gross.

    Secondly, I truly admire dedication, perseverance, stick-to-it-ness, etc. Even when it is really gross.

    Finally, I would be really annoyed at this photographer if I were this particular runner. As if it isn't bad enough I have to finish the race like this, you go and permanently document it via a photograph?

    Screw you, photographer dude.

1. Hulk Hogan

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    The two would go on to become tag team partners (any and all possible innuendo is intended), raising eyebrows when they made this their entrance song.


    Be sure to hit me up on Twitter (@TRappaRT) along with the entire B/R Swagger team (@BR_Swagger). Also, be sure to check me out on the Sexy Metal Pants Blog and Twitter feed (@SexyMetalPants). Coming soon: The Sexy Metal Pants Podcast!