10 Athletes Who Should Be Locked Out of Professional Sports Forever
Both the NBA and the NFL are currently locked out.
What does this mean? We might spend our upcoming fall and winter seasons watching The Bachelor with the wife and being forced to attend book clubs on cold Sunday evenings instead of watching Tom Brady or Kobe Bryant.
Yes, this lockout brings inevitable catastrophic consequences if the lockout were to continue.
With that said, as a sports fan, there are some athletes I never want to see again. They might be gifted, they might be entertaining and they might even be champions, but at the end of the day, they are downright annoying.
Mixed Martial Arts: Brock Lesnar
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For starters, the tattoo on Brock Lesnar's stomach is atrocious. For that reason alone, I would not mind if I never saw his big frame in high definition again.
However, there are many more reasons to hate Brock. For a man of his size, he is greatly overrated. He was decimated by Cain Velasquez and got extremely lucky against Shane Carwin.
Brock is all hype with very little to back it up.
Lastly, his voice does not match his body—though I would never tell him any of this in person.
NHL: Matt Cooke
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This 32-year-old hockey player who plays for the Pittsburgh Penguins is exactly what the sport does not need.
He's a dirty player who has caused more concussions than scored goals.
Matt Cooke has been a dirty player for most of his career; he intentionally aims for the head and has a complete disregard for the sport.
If Cooke never played another NHL game, the league would benefit greatly.
Tennis: Andy Roddick
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Andrew Stephen Roddick, otherwise known as Andy Roddick, has been a consistent underachiever his entire career.
He has won a Grand Slam tournament once, yet every other time he has reached the finals, he has been dissected by Roger Federer. He constantly complains to the chair umpire when it is clear that he just is not very good.
It seems like Andy cannot get past the fourth round in any tournament these days.
Yet he spends his nights next to Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker, and I spend my nights next to a stuffed teddy bear I call Reginald.
NFL: Albert Haynesworth
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After being rewarded an astonishing seven-year, $100 million contract by the Washington Redskins, Albert Haynesworth appeared to spend most of his money on Big Mac combos at McDonald's. He probably thought he could save some calories with a Diet Coke.
Haynesworth has fought with the coaching staff, been absent from practices and failed numerous conditioning tests.
His 2010 season was the worst of his career with just 13 tackles in eight games.
"I'm lovin' it!"
NBA: Chris Bosh
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Living in Toronto, I got to see a lot from Chris Bosh over the years. When he left for the sunny beaches in Miami, most Toronto Raptor fans screamed, "Good riddance!"
In all his years playing for Toronto, he never really got the team anywhere: a first-round playoff exit and a bunch of terrible seasons. Bosh always settled for jumpers and sometimes refused to drive.
If he shot the ball well, then the team had a chance, but many times, the elbow jumpers were not falling, and the team suffered. He went to Miami and for the most part did the exact same thing.
He is soft, and Shaquille O'Neal once made him cry after calling him "the RuPaul of big men" in the NBA.
Auto Racing: Danica Patrick
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Make no mistake about it—I could watch her Go Daddy commercials any day of the week.
Yet she draws too much attention for the wrong reasons when it comes to auto racing. She is not very good, yet she is always a focal point for any race, combined with a terrible attitude.
Lastly, the real reason Danica Patrick should be locked out is because I am tired of seeing her chase guys and attempt to beat them up when it is almost always her fault.
I'd love to be her teacher...
Soccer: Cristiano Ronaldo
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He is one of the greatest soccer players of the modern generation. You will not get an argument from me there.
With that said, he has made a mockery of the sport with his blatant diving, childish antics on the pitch and terrible attitude.
While playing for Manchester United, on the eve of the 2008 Champions League Final in Moscow, Ronaldo told reporters it was his "dream" to play for Real Madrid.
Reasons like that make him unlikable, and his diving would make him an instant Olympic gold medal contender.
Golf: Tiger Woods
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His personal life has ruined him forever and has left me in shambles. I often spend my day with a voice in my head saying, "Hey, it's Tiger"—the call that I'm sure none of us will forget anytime soon.
Tiger Woods had it all. Then the world found out he slept with about half a dozen porn stars, and he lost it all.
The entire fiasco was too strange for Tiger to ever get forgiveness.
He spent his entire career profiting off the image of being a family man. He was boring, and that is the reason most loved him—never in the news for the wrong reasons.
Then we find out about all the women he slept with while married. Then a staged press conference with predetermined questions. Then sex therapy...
It is all too strange.
"Hey, it's Tiger." Bet it's stuck in your head forever as well.
NBA: LeBron James
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This one is a bit tricky. If LeBron James never wins a championship for the rest of his career, then I would never want to see him locked out. However, if he ever wins, I never want to see the day.
The self-proclaimed "King" will rub it in our faces forever; I could not possibly think of a worst nightmare. He talks a lot and then fails to show up, particularly in fourth quarters, where he gets outplayed by guys like J.J. Barea and Jason Terry.
Then he goes on Twitter and talks some more only to have the exact same result play itself out again.
That has been LeBron James' career in a nutshell: a gifted athlete with a weak mental capacity that has prevented him from getting an NBA championship.
Yet if he wins, we will all suffer!
Boxing: Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao
It is time to call a spade a spade. These two have ducked each other for too long. Boxing, a sport that has had diminishing interest for the last decade, could be saved if either of these two decided to quit playing games and fight each other.
Instead, time after time, sports fans are forced to put up with both of these guys fighting boxers who have as much chance at beating them as I would.
Enough is enough. We are tired of both boxers facing washed-up scrubs. Either fight each other or do not fight at all.
No one cares to watch you fight senior citizens like Shane Mosley or Oscar De La Hoya. Get in the ring and give the people what they want already.
If not, I hope NASA launches them both up into the moon. The world would be a better place.