What If Each MLB Team Had a WWE Wrestler as a Mascot?

Geoff Estes@TheGeffyManCorrespondent IJuly 14, 2011

What If Each MLB Team Had a WWE Wrestler as a Mascot?

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    I love comparisons.  I love comparing one thing to something else that seemingly has no relation.

    If five of my buddies and I are playing pick-up basketball, and the seventh guy just sits and watches, he may be the Brian Scalabrine of our group. 

    If a baseball player was big and strong, but boring to watch, he might be described as the Goldberg of baseball.

    I watch a lot of baseball.  I also watch a lot of wrestling.  Recently, I was wondering which wrestler best reminds me of each of the 30 MLB teams.  Which wrestler would make the best mascot of each team, if you will.  Might sound easy, but it isn't. Trust me.

    For example, if the Seattle Mariners suddenly got really good, won a World Series out of nowhere, and then fell to the middle of the pack, Sheamus would be a good fit for them.  See how that works?

    Here are my picks for each MLB team using wrestlers both past and present.  I did the best I could.  Feel free to tell me which wrestlers you would have used, or comment on any I used.

Arizona Diamondbacks: Razor Ramon

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    When the WWE did the first few promos for Razor Ramon, I thought they were ridiculous. 

    I remember one in particular in which Razor was dining at a Miami restaurant, using his fake accent, and being extremely rude to the poor waiter.  He talked of "machismo" and said "chico" a lot.  I didn't care for the new character. 

    He started as a heel, and I will never forget the 1-2-3 Kid upsetting Razor on Monday Night Raw.  Let's just say his career didn't take off like some thought it would right away. 

    Eventually, however, Razor became one of the better performers in the business and won a lot of fans.  His Wrestlemania X ladder match with Shawn Michaels is still one of my top five, all-time favorites. 

    Razor finally became a contender.

    The Arizona Diamondbacks might be the 2011 contender that nobody is talking about. 

    The Dbacks haven't done much of anything since losing to the Rockies in the 2007 NLCS.  For the last three years, they have arguably been one of the worst teams in the majors.

    Now, without attracting much fanfare, the Dbacks are only two games back of the defending World Champion Giants.  The youngsters like Justin Upton and Chris Young are looking like actual ballplayers. 

    The pitching staff has been surprisingly solid.  The bullpen has lost J.J. Putz for a spell, but David Hernandez might actually be better.

    The Diamondbacks may not be a bust after all.  They might have more machismo than anybody gave them credit for back in April.

Atlanta Braves: Ric Flair

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    Even though they only won one championship (1995), the Atlanta Braves were the class of the National League over the last two decades, until the last two or three years, that is. 

    The Braves of the 90's and early to mid-2000's were unstoppable. 

    They never did anything too drastically different—just kept winning with pitching and the keen managerial minds of Bobby Cox and Leo Mazzone.  The Braves won 14 straight Division Titles from 1991-2005. 

    Towards the end of the Cox era, the Braves tried bringing in new stars (namely, Jason Heyward), but still were not the same.  One thing that remained the same was the old guard of Bobby Cox and Chipper Jones, who were looking older every day.

    Ric Flair also looks older every day.  He looked old in the 90's when we was still winning world titles. Now he looks (although, good for his age) extremely old.  Flair was the class of wrestling for many years, and now he is a weekly punchline on TNA. 

    Neither the Braves or Flair are what they were five, 10, or 15 years ago.  Greats of the last two decades (three in Flair's case), but the last two decades are over. 

    The Braves may be seeing a resurgence—the same can't be said for Flair.

Baltimore Orioles: Ted DiBiase Jr.

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    The Orioles were supposed to be back to good this year. 

    They come from a rich history: Brooks Robinson, Jim Palmer, Cal Ripken Jr.  The Streak.  Beautiful Camden Yards. 

    So many things in the Orioles' history points to them being one of the most respected baseball franchises in history. Unfortunately, lately the Orioles have been anything but. 

    They haven't made the playoffs since the 90's.  The Nationals came into D.C. and stole away some O's fans.  Miguel Tejada and Rafael Palmeiro faced some unflattering rumors.  Basically, things have been bad.

    With the additions of Derrek Lee, Vlad Guerrero, and Mark Reynolds, along with the youngsters already in place like Nick Markakis, Adam Jones, and Matt Wieters, the Orioles were supposed to be a surprise team of 2011.  Buck Showalter was supposed to be the guy to get the O's back into contention. 

    So far, that hasn't been the case. 

    The O's are nine games under .500 in the tough AL East, where things rarely get easier.

    Ted DiBiase Jr. was supposed to be good by now too.  When the WWE put him in The Marine 2, many expected him to get a huge push and be a title contender. 

    So far, that hasn't come close to happening.  DiBiase is now playing second fiddle to his former tag team partner, Cody Rhodes. 

    Things were supposed to be looking up for The O's and for Teddy Jr.  Last I checked, they are not.

Boston Red Sox: Randy Orton

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    Even though I don't use (SPOILER ALERT!) John Cena for the Yankees, for the purpose of this analogy, we are going to pretend the Yankees are Cena. 

    Everybody thinks Cena wins all the time.  Most people who are Cena fans are annoying.  Most Cena fans don't appreciate the intricacies of wrestling, or else they wouldn't be Cena fans.

    Yankees fans are much of the same.  People think they buy their championships.  Yankees fans are usually annoying.  They don't have to build a team from within, and earn a good year, like everybody else. 

    Sound familiar?  Mostly the same arguments.  I am not saying these arguments are false.  What I am saying is that these arguments can be applied just as easily to the Red Sox and Randy Orton. 

    Both seemingly play second fiddle to the more popular brand (Cena and Yankees).  With the exception of Bostoners and life-long fans, most Red Sox fans haven't been on the bandwagon all too long, and like to pretend since they don't like the Yankees, that they are "real" baseball fans. 

    Orton fans do the same.  They pretend they are die-hard wrestling fans who scoff at the established money-maker and like the renegade—the cool guy, Orton, instead. 

    The Red Sox and Yankees are the same team. 

    They both spend money like it is going out of style, and both have incredibly annoying bandwagon fans in every market.  I say this with all due respect to the true Yankee and Red Sox fans out there, because I truly do know some.  The Yankees are thought of as the evil empire, but the Sox are just as bad.

    Cena and Orton?  No different. 

    The "Cena sucks" chants could just as easily be "Orton sucks", but his persona doesn't allow for naive fans to realize this.  He is going to dominate SmackDown just like Cena dominates Raw. 

    We will all be bored of him in due time, just like we are of the Red Sox.

Chicago Cubs: Undertaker

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    The obvious connection here is the matter of streaks. 

    The Undertaker's Wrestlemania streak is unprecedented.  19-0 in the wrestling business, while constantly putting on the best match on the card, is as impressive, if that's the right word, as the Cubs' 103-year streak.

    Having not won a World Series since 1908 is hard to fathom.  I have never seen any of my favorite teams win a title, and I already fear I may never see that, and I am only 25 years old.  I can't imagine the pain of a 80- or 90-year-old Cubs fan.  These streaks may never be topped.

    The other reason I chose Undertaker is a little more personal. 

    The Undertaker has earned his right to show up for a few weeks before WrestleMania, do his match at the beginning of April, and disappear for a few months—possibly to resurface at SummerSlam or Survivor Series, but likely not until the next spring.

    That is kind of what Cubs fans do.  Not all of them, I should make that clear, but a lot of them. 

    Cubs fans have gotten a reputation, nation-wide, as a bunch that cares as much about the Old Style and pre- and post-game partying than the baseball game.  Many that I know are all about the Cubs for about a week in April, then forget they are playing the rest of the Summer. 

    If they are winning, they show up again in late summer or early fall, but that's not usually the case.

    I feel bad sometimes for the true fans out there who stick with the Cubs all summer and go to Wrigley for the team and history, rather than the socializing. 

    Their streak will end eventually, and they will party in the North Side.  But if it doesn't, at least they have something in common with one of the greatest wrestlers of all time.

Chicago White Sox: Stone Cold Steve Austin

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    This one is simple.

    Ozzie Guillen is to baseball what Stone Cold was to the WWE powers that be. McMahon always pretended to play the role of trying to silence Stone Cold’s antics even though he knew it was good for ratings, and I truly believe deep down the MLB knows Ozzie is good for baseball.

    When Ozzie goes on one of his rants, do you have any idea what he is talking about? Me neither, but it is still good TV. 

    Ozzie is old school.  He is anti-establishment. 

    The White Sox also wear the same colors as the Texas Rattlesnake, and they have the bad boy reputation (as compared to the cross-town Cubs) like Austin.

    Look, I’m an Indians fan. Therefore, I do not like the White Sox. They are a rival.

    However, if I were to be asked if I would take Ozzie Guillen as the Tribe’s manager, I would say “yes” in a heartbeat.

    Some people demand attention and respect.  You might not always like the way they go about their business, but they usually get the job done, and might even make you laugh a couple times while doing so. 

    Ozzie and Stone Cold are two such people.

Cincinnati Reds: Rowdy Roddy Piper

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    The 70's were a good time for Cincinnati: the Reds were the best team in baseball, Pete Rose was the best player in baseball, and the wins were rolling in.

    Roddy Piper had an awfully good late 70's and early 80's, also.  He was a major heel in the NWA and WWE.  Piper was one of the hottest tickets in the business, even main event-ing the first WrestleMania. 

    Things were not as good for the Reds and Piper in the 90's and first decade of the 2000's.  Both struggled for most of the decade and were largely irrelevant. 

    Now, both are back.

    Piper has made some great cameos on Raw, and even on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, lately.  The Reds won the NL Central last year, and are battling for a second straight division crown this year.

    The 70's are gone, but the stars are not forgotten.

Cleveland Indians: Christian

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    The Cleveland Indians and Christian both have extremely devoted fan bases.  A long line of losses have hardened these fan bases, but haven't diminished them.  (True, attendance was brutal in Cleveland early this year, but that wasn't uncommon throughout the Major Leagues).

    Cleveland hasn't won a World Series in over 60 years.  Christian has held the world title for less than a week. 

    The Indians owners have put their fans through hell with all the trades of recent years.  The powers that be in the WWE have put Christian fans through hell by letting him get oh-so-close to being a real champion, then ripping it away.

    The Tribe are 1/2 game behind at the All-Star break, and could see the playoffs this year for the first time since 2007.  The 4-run comeback, capped off with the Travis Hafner walk-off grand slam last week, showed the magic the Indians have touched on this year, and the passion the fans have for the 2011 Indians.

    Christian has another title shot this weekend at Money In The Bank.  His fan base hasn't waned since he has turned heel.  The peeps are still there, and many support him more than ever.

    The Indians fans and Christian fans share their suffering, but who knows?  Maybe by October, both will be atop the proverbial mountain. ("Maybe" being the key word. I'm a life-long Indians fan.  I know better).

Colorado Rockies: Marty Jannetty

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    It may seem harsh to compare the Rockies to Marty Jannetty. 

    Jannetty is, after all, the classic example of a weak link.  The guy that brings the other guy down until they part ways.  The one that didn't fulfill his potential, while the other guy went on to be one of the best in the business.

    The Marlins may not be one of the "best" franchises in Major League Baseball, but there is no arguing that they have two World Series rings compared to zero for the Colorado Rockies.  The Rockies have had some good years, but through the first 18 years of their existence, they are ringless.

    The Rockies did win a pennant in 2007, which is about like Jannetty becoming the Intercontinental Champion. 

    It is an accomplishment, but just not the big one. 

    The Marlins have went on to play in two of the more memorable World Series of the last 20 years. 

    First, defeating the Indians in 1997 in seven games, and then Josh Beckett becoming a superstar with his performance to oust the mighty Yankees in 2003.

    Those series could be compared to some of Shawn Michaels' classic WrestleMania matches, while the Rockies' 2007 series against the Red Sox was more like the Jannetty vs. Ludwig Borga match from a long lost SummerSlam. 

    Sorry, Colorado.  Until something changes, you will be the Jannetty of 1993. 

    At least you didn't get thrown through a barber shop window—just swept by the Red Sox.

Detroit Tigers: Yokozuna

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    The Tigers have some beef. 

    Miguel Cabrera, Johnny Peralta, and Brad Penny all carry some pounds with them. 

    All power, little finesse. 

    That can apply to Justin Verlander as well, except he has power AND finesse.

    WWE great Yokozuna had as much beef as the entire Tigers roster combined. He was more like Verlander than some thought.  He had power, sure, but he was much quicker on his feet than given credit for.

    The other similarity? 

    Yokozuna always had Mr. Fuji around to throw salt in his opponent's eyes.  Jim Leyland may not throw salt, but he is nearly as old as Mr. Fuji, and equally as smart.

Florida Marlins: Jack Swagger

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    Are the Marlins due for another World Series anytime soon?  Are they waiting for their new ballpark to open up in downtown Miami? 

    The Marlins' two World Series Championships can be compared to Jack Swagger's title reign. 

    The Marlins kind of came out of nowhere both seasons, won the wild card, then rolled through the playoffs as a underdog to win a ring. 

    The partying in South Beach was hardly over when the two teams were blown up, and the Marlins were irrelevent again.

    Jack Swagger won Money in the Bank last year and, as everybody did before him, cashed it in and became World Champion.  The All-American came from nowhere to be champion. Then when he lost it, became a nobody again, falling as low as being Michael Cole's bodyguard.

    It is really rags or riches for these two. 

    Maybe things are soon to be on an upturn.  The Marlins have a new stadium in the works.  Jack swagger is in another MITB.  Who knows?

Houston Astros: Akeem

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    Remember when the Astros were always near the top of the division with the Killer B's and all that good stuff?  Those were the days. 

    Rebuilding hasn't been too nice to the Astros this year.  They are likely the worst team in the Major Leagues.  Poor Houston.

    Remember when the One Man Gang was a pretty solid wrestler?  He was a major player in the WrestleMania IV Tournament.  He looked destined for greatness.

    Then Akeem happened.  The Slickster got a hold of the One Man Gang, took him to "Deepest Darkest Africe" and the rest his history.

    Things used to be better...for both the Astros and Akeem.

Kansas City Royals: Jerry the King Lawler

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    The obvious connection is the royalty aspect. Jerry the King Lawler could be the Royals mascot if his WWE career went South.

    The other connection is timeline.

    Both were powerhouses in the 80’s. The King was a big deal, as were George Brett, Bret Saberhagen, Bo Jackson, and the Royals.

    Then, in the 90’s and early 2000’s, they were pretty much turds. I admit, Lawler was entertaining as an announcer, but he was no Bobby Heenan.

    Now, Lawler is trying to reinvent himself as a straight announcer instead of the villain announcer, much like the Royals are trying to reinvent themselves with young talent like Eric Hosmer and Billy Butler. 

    I have to say, it seems like it is working for both of them.

Los Angeles Angels: Triple H

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    The Angels and Triple H have something in common: both continue to perform at a high level without getting much attention.

    The Angels are always picked to either quietly win the West, or be overtaken by a young upstart team. However, they have continued to quietly win the West year after year without being overtaken. 

    Until last year, that is, when the mighty Rangers won the AL West.  But the Angels are right there again, knocking on the door.

    Triple H has continued to do the same.

    The attention is usually on someone else (Undertaker, Orton, Cena, etc.), but Triple H continues to entertain and win titles. He sort of flies under the radar as perhaps the best performer in the WWE today.

    Triple H is a veteran wrestler who has been the champ before and can likely be again, much like Mike Scioscia's Angels. 

    I would never count either out.

Los Angeles Dodgers: The Rock

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    The Dodgers are the most electrifying team in baseball when they are good.  Los Angeles gets a bad rap for the late-coming fans, but Dodger stadium has as much of a magical feel as any ballpark in the country. 

    The Dodgers have always been considered one of the greatest franchises in sports.  They are about as old-school as old-school gets.  Let's just hope their recent financial troubles don't diminish that legacy.

    The Rock is certainly the most electrifying man in sports entertainment.  Nobody can hold a room like The Rock.  His return to Monday Night Raw was simply magnificent. 

    The Rock is one of my two favorite wrestlers of all time, and I think many people would agree with me. 

    Just like the Dodgers' financial troubles, I hope The Rock's upcoming match at WrestleMania in Miami doesn't diminish his legacy by being a sub-par match.

    I'm not too worried about The Rock's ability to put on a match. 

    I mean, have you seen his arms?  Dude is still in shape.

Milwaukee Brewers: Kane

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    The little brothers to the North.  That is what the Brewers have been for many years. 

    Miller Park was even called "Wrigley Field North" by some until a couple years ago when C.C. Sabathia, Ryan Braun, Prince Fielder, and others reinvigorated the franchise.

    The Brewers have become a contender again in 2011.  They have three NL All-Star starters in Braun, Fielder, and Rickie Weeks.  The pitching staff has vastly improved.  They are certainly more relevant than their little brothers to the South.

    Kane has always been the little brother, too.  He knows how it feels.  He has won the title before, even beating the Undertaker for the title, but he will never hold the stature of the Taker. 

    Kane has a lot of fire power, but I am not sure if even he has as much as the 2011 Brewers lineup.

Minnesota Twins: Bret "Hitman" Hart

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    The Twins are baseball’s “Excellence of Execution”. The Twins never have the top payroll, or the most hyped players at any position (except, of course, for Joe Mauer), and they are usually not picked to win the AL Central, but yet, somehow they always do.

    Bret Hart used intelligence, confidence, scrappiness, and heart (no pun intended) to become one of the best wrestlers to ever step into the squared circle. Then, he used that same intelligence to write a phenomenal book about his life in wrestling, which I’d suggest any wrestling fan read.

    The Twins, under always overlooked coach Ron Gardenhire, are classic overachievers. Once you count the Twins out, they storm right back, as they have done in July this season.

    The Hitman and the Twins just don't quit, no matter how bleak the situation looks.  Execution, after all, wins the game.

New York Mets: Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase

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    The Mets spend a lot of money.  They are seventh in payroll this year, yet there are 14 teams with more wins at the break.  The Mets are getting some mileage out of their money, but not what they should be getting. 

    This isn't a new theme. 

    The Mets have had a high payroll for many years recently, and due to underachieving, injuries, or just bad luck, have failed to be a contender.

    The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase was at least a contender.  He bought his way into countless title matches, but he never won them.  His Million Dollar Belt was a funny side story, but it meant nothing.

    Everybody does have a price, but in DiBiase's case and the Mets' case, money can't always buy victories.

New York Yankees: Hulk Hogan

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    Saw this one coming, didn't ya? 

    The Yankees are the most storied franchise in all of sports. They are the big bully spending money to win titles. If you are not a hardcore Yankees fan, odds are you despise them.

    Many think the Yankees suck the fun out of baseball at times with their financial purchases. Flip this around on Hogan, and there are a lot of similarities.

    Hulk was unstoppable throughout his WWE career, and every match was the exact same.  All were boring, and then Hulkamania began and the match ended. 

    As fans got older, most began to hate Hogan for his one-dimensionality. 

    Hogan was loved by millions, but despised by millions. He always seemed to be there at the end of every WrestleMania (Just watch WrestleMania's 1-9, it's sickening).

    Many thought Hogan had no business being the main event because he really was not a very exciting wrestler.  His matches were never the best matches on the card, with the possible exception of Hogan vs. Warrior at WrestleMania VI.

    The Hulkster is a legend, though—no denying that. The Yankees are a legendary franchise—no denying that,either.

    I think both get to a point, though, where they are pretty freaking boring.

Oakland A's: Kevin Nash

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    I went with Nash for the A's.

    Nash did something in WCW that was great for his career: he started the NWO with Scott Hall and Hulk Hogan, and then the NWO Wolfpack. He had this revolutionary idea, and it caught on.

    He was huge for a while, but then, things started to go south.

    When the WWE bought WCW, Nash was an odd man out. Now, he is still trying to regain that swagger by appearing as Diesel in the most recent Royal Rumble. 

    In 2011 though, he is gray and looks more like Gandolf than Diesel.

    The A’s had a revolutionary idea called Moneyball, and it worked. Then, everybody caught on to Billy Beane’s ideas, and now the A’s are trying to rebuild the team while trying to get a new stadium in the process.

    The A's pitching has a ton of potential, but the lineup isn't doing what it should be doing according to Beane's numbers. 

    At least the A's will get some publicity with the upcoming Moneyball movie coming out. 

    Take what you can get, Oakland.

Pittsburgh Pirates: Golddust

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    The Pirates have a rich history and great lineage.  As does the Bizarre One, Golddust.

    Both have really struggled with an identity over the last 10-15 years.  Golddust kept changing his personality, while the Pirates kept trading players with promise. 

    The Pirates built a beautiful ballpark, yet still didn't contend.  Golddust had a beautiful wife/manager, yet didn't contend for the title.

    The WWE never seemed to know what in the world they wanted to do with Golddust, yet I always found him compelling.  I always wished he'd gotten a bigger push.

    The Pirates never seemed to know what direction they wanted to head in, either, but they seem to have gotten it together.

    Clint Hurdle has been a blessing for the Pirates, and I am hoping they are contending come September. 

    Let's just hope they don't have another identity crisis in the second half.

Philadelphia Phillies: John Cena

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    Yes, I know I used the Cena as the Yankees analogy in my Red Sox slide, but I think he fits better for the Phillies. 

    The Phillies are one of the best teams in the majors.  The Phils look like they are heavy favorites for the NL Pennant, again. 

    Even if the Giants pulled off the upset last year, are we not all a little bit sick of the Phillies? 

    They keep coming back year-in and year-out for the last four or five years, with the same core of position players, and keep contending for a ring.  This is a testament to their front office and players for providing that type of consistency. 

    So why are we sick of them? 

    Because Philadelphia fans are the most ruthless, grumpy, and unsatisfied fans on the planet.  Hey, that isn't necessairly a knock on Philly fans.  It is simply a fact. 

    The Phillies are up by four games in the division, and only averaged five runs scored per game last week?  They should be six games up and scoring eight a game, according to Philly fans. 

    Striving for greatness isn't a bad thing.  It just means everybody else is sick of your complaining.

    Most wrestling fans are sick of John Cena, as well.  He just keeps on getting main events and keeps on winning.  The bad part (or good considering how you look at it) is that he keeps putting on good matches.  He isn't going anywhere. 

    Cena fans, although often kids, are usually just awful.  "Cena sucks" is usually in adult voices, while "Let's Go Cena" sounds like something off Kids Bop.

    Cena is the voice and hero of the kids and working-class semi-wrestling fans.  Everybody else is sick of him. 

    Quit winning John Cena and Phillies, and maybe we will like you again.

St. Louis Cardinals: Macho Man Randy Savage

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    The Cardinals are second all-time in World Series Championships.  They have one of the best fan bases in baseball, and one of the nicest stadiums. 

    Yet, I feel like the Cards are sometimes forgotten, or underrated, when talking about the best franchises in baseball.

    The Yankees, Red Sox, Dodgers, Phillies, Cubs, White Sox, Giants...Those are the teams mentioned as the historic poster franchises. The Cardinals are sometimes forgotten in the shuffle.  That's just not right.

    Macho Man (until recently, for obvious reasons) was often in the same boat. 

    He never got the credit he deserved for carrying some of the early Pay-Per-Views.  Hogan and Andre may have been the main attraction at WrestleMania III, but we all know who stole the show.

    Seriously.  Go back and watch WrestleMania's 1-8 and tell me Macho Man isn't in the best wrestling match in all of them.  One of the all-time greats, without a doubt.

    Also, as a side note:  Macho Man always had the prettiest girl on his arm in the form of Miss Elizabeth.  The Cardinals have the "prettiest girl" on their arm in the form of Albert Pujols.

San Diego Padres: Sgt. Slaughter

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    Do I really have to explain this one? 

    The Padres' God-awful camo uniforms drive me crazy.  I know they are honoring all the service men in the San Diego area, and that is great.  I just feel there is a better way to go about it. 

    Maybe some type of patch worn year-round.  Or perhaps an American flag type uniform.  They could even wear uniforms with a giant picture of America on them.  Anything is better than the fatigue uniforms.

    The other comparison here is that the Padres are a pretty boring team to watch.  Even though Slaughter is a legend, his matches were never that entertaining. 

    Remember Slaughter vs. Hogan at WrestleMania VIII?  I wish I didn't.

San Francisco Giants: Shawn Michaels

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    Shawn Michaels is the most charismatic superstar in WWE history. 

    He wasn't the biggest or strongest guy, but he was the best. He was one of the greatest, if not the greatest, in wrestling history.  It took him a while after he threw Jannetty through the Barber Shop window to win the title, but he got there, and he did it in style.

    The Giants are the most charismatic team in the Majors.  Brian Wilson, Tim Lincecum, and Pablo Sandoval have as much personality as anybody around. 

    The Giants captured a lot of hearts on their run to the World Series last October.  Many people had forgotten how long it had been since they won their last ring. 

    They were a lot like Shawn Michaels: it took them a while, but they got there, and they got there in style.

Seattle Mariners: Ultimate Warrior

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    I'll never forget my favorite birthday as a child.  I had an Ultimate Warrior birthday cake, and I got Ken Griffey, Jr. Baseball for Super Nintendo, which turned out to be my favorite video game of all time.

    Every kid in the 90's loved the Mariners, or at least Griffey, and every kid loved the Warrior.

    As we have grown up, we children of the 90's, we have learned that the Warrior wasn't as cool as we all thought he was. 

    His interviews didn't make any sense.  He was actually a terrible in-ring wrestler.  He was also apparently a jerk backstage.  I don't care about any of it.  I still love the guy.

    The Mariners in the 90's were as good as we thought.  They had the pieces to win the title, and Griffey was on pace to be the best baseball player ever. 

    Injuries did Ken Griffey, Jr. no favors.  It is a shame he couldn't have had a entirely, if not just mostly, healthy career.

    The Mariners never won anything of circumstance with Griffey, and they do not look like they are winning anything anytime soon. 

    The 90's were a better time for Seattle and the Ultimate Warrior.

Tampa Bay Rays: C.M. Punk

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    Anti-Establishment.  That is how we think of C.M. Punk. 

    He isn't the biggest guy, or the strongest, but he may well be the best and most entertaining.  He laughs at the idea of dominance by the big boys.

    That is the same way we have come to think of the Rays.  The little guys from Tampa Bay have been just as successful as the Yankees and Red Sox over the last three years (except for that Yankees World Series title).

    The Rays are not supposed to challenge for the A.L. East crown, yet they do.  Their payroll isn't near as big as the Yankees or Red Sox, yet their win total is. 

    The Rays are laughing at the big boys and their "spend first, ask questions later" philosophy.  The little guys keep hanging around, and there isn't much the favorites can do about it.

Texas Rangers: Legion of Doom

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    The Rangers resemble Hawk and Animal because they are all power and little finesse.

    They are a cool team to like right now. With the colorful players they have, like Josh Hamilton, Nelson Cruz, and Ian Kinsler, they are a trendy bandwagon team.

    The L.O.D. were all offense, power, and muscle—much like the Rangers. L.O.D. won the Tag Team Titles many times.  That is an honor, but not like striking out on their own and winning the World Title. 

    It is kind of like winning the pennant.  It is nice, but not the ultimate goal.

Toronto Blue Jays: Owen Hart

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    They are the little brothers in the AL East to mega powers New York and Boston. They are in the little brother country, Canada, home of Owen Hart.

    Even when they won the back-to-back titles in the 90's, they still seemed underappreciated, much like Owen. And now they are pretty much irrelevant, much like Owen.

    For the record, I love Owen Hart and think he needs to be in the WWE Hall of Fame, like right now.  I love Jose Bautista also. 

    The Jays just need to win more games, and Owen needs his induction into the WWE Hall, for them both to get the attention they deserve.

Washington Nationals: R-Truth

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    There is excitement in D.C. 

    Stephen Strasburg is almost a year removed from Tommy John.  Danny Espinosa is putting together a good year.  Ryan Zimmerman and Jordan Zimmermann are legit big-leaguers.  And, of course, Bryce Harper is a super-duper star in the making.

    The Nationals are becoming relevant in terms of contending for the first time since their move to the nation's capital.  The President's Race is no longer the main attraction at Nationals Ballpark.  (Although, it still is pretty awesome.)

    The Nationals are boring no longer. 

    The same can be said for R-Truth.  Truth went from being one of the most boring wrestlers in the world a few short months ago, to being a legitimate heel.  His new "Little Jimmy" act has really won me over.  His conspiracy theorist gimmick is great.

    Truth may be looking at a big push to where people actually think he could win a big match as opposed to just being in them.  It won't be long until the Nationals get that big push also.