10 Most Ridiculous Names in the History of Sports

Michael Dobranski@ShitDobbieSayzContributor IJune 29, 2011

10 Most Ridiculous Names in the History of Sports

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    The world of sports has played host to weird and unusual names throughout history. Although some sports seem to have a higher quantity, no one sport is exempt. And now it looks like the Strange Name Hall of Fame is about to get a new member, namely Los Angeles Lakers forward Ron Artest.

    The usually controversial and outspoken Artest has been quiet since becoming a Laker, but the departure of coach Phil Jackson seems to have set Ron Ron free again as he announced his plans to change his name to Metta World Peace. The abnormal name is quite ironic considering this is the same man who once assaulted a fan in the stands during a game.

    Nonetheless, his new moniker sparked my curiosity, and I went searching for some of the most ridiculous names in the history of sports. And without further ado, here they are:

10. Boof Bonser

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    The comedy here lies in Boof's abnormal first name, which is...well...Boof. The major league pitcher has bounced around from Minnesota to Boston to Oakland and currently resides in the New York Mets farm system.

    I feel like his inability to find a solid place on a team is directly related to his name. Honestly, can you imagine a fanbase chanting "BOOF!" at a game? Of course not.

9. Milton Bradley

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    As if his name wasn't enough of a joke, Bradley has turned himself into a caricature, often letting his hot-headed nature get the best of him. Despite having above-average talent, his attitude and lack of hustle have led to him bouncing around to numerous teams during his career.

    Also, his parents had to be in on this. There is no way you accidentally name your child after the famous board game manufacturer. Unless he was conceived during a particularly steamy game of Monopoly...

8. Chad Ochocinco

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    Chad Johnson was no stranger to the media spotlight. His talent on the field is often overshadowed by his twitter posts and touchdown celebrations. But Johnson topped any and all of his previous actions when he officially changed his name to Ochocinco, or "eight five" in Spanish.

    Johnson chose to go with Ochocinco, despite the fact that 85 translated into Spanish is "ochenta y cinco." He later wanted to change his name again to Hachi Go, Japanese for "eight five." Some people just never learn.

7. Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila

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    Hey, our first hyphenated name! At least one was sure to sneak into this list somewhere.

    Kabeer Gbaja-Biamila, the long-time Green Bay Packers defensive lineman, suffers from the unfortunate combination of a complicated surname paired with an obscure first name. I mean, once you're working with Gbaja-Biamila as half of your name, why not just go all out and throw in something insane like Kabeer? I guess that's the logic his parents were working with.

    If it's any consolation for him though, his nickname, KGB, is awesome.

6. Coco Crisp

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    This name is just plain fun to say. Crisp has bounced around to a few teams, and I for one do not understand why. Team chemistry is important to every team, and what better way to build team chemistry than have 23 teammates make fun of the teammate whose name sounds like a breakfast cereal?

    In other news, I am going to name my first child Boo Berry Dobranski. Or Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch Dobranski. I haven't decided yet.

5. World B. Free

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    Former NBA All-Star World B. Free had a successful 13-year career in which he is remembered as a great shooter. And that is all he is remembered for. His name definitely does not outshine his career.

    Just kidding, it completely does. World B. Free is surprisingly not a cry for world peace, but instead just a coincidence. Born Lloyd Bernard Free, he was given his nickname "World" due to his acrobatic dunks on the playground. He legally changed his name to World in 1981, thus securing the NBA's Best Name Award for the rest of his career.

4. God Shammgod

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    Although he only appeared in 20 games for the Washington Wizards, this 1997 draft pick has one of the greatest names in the history of names. As if having "God" in your name once wasn't enough, Shammgod throws down the biblical gauntlet by having "God" in his name twice.

    The actual God doesn't even have "God" in his name twice.

3. D'Brickashaw Ferguson

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    When apostrophes are found in a person's first name, you know you've got a ridiculous name. And the New York Jets All-Pro tackle has one of the most ridiculous names out there.

    As you can see from the list thus far, I place all of the blame for these names on the parents. And I have two theories regarding Brick's parents' choice in names for their son.

    The first is that upon his birth, when the doctor asked what his name would be, his father sneezed. That sneeze forever sealed his son's fate as D'Brickashaw.

    The second is that his parents hated him for stealing their youth and decided to get revenge by giving him a horrible, made-up name.

2. Chief Kickingstallionsims

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    This name is the epitome of awesome. It brings to mind, well, kicking stallions. And (pun alert) just for kicks, it sticks "sims" in at the end.

    The Alabama State center was not only lucky enough to be given an incredible last name, but he hit the jackpot with a first name like Chief.

    Just imagine if you were a cowboy in the Old West. Would you be messing with Chief Kickingstallionsims' tribe of Native Americans? I think not.

1. Rusty Kuntz

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    Yeah...I'm not touching this one.