The Super Bowl excitement is growing; from ESPN's twenty two and half hour coverage to the general banter around my house.
People are excited, I'm excited and there is only one person in the world who I can imagine is more excited than I am... John Madden.
So, after that epiphany, I called up my good friend Miss Cleo and asked, "Miss Cleo, what is John Madden going to do Super Bowl Sunday?" She responded, "Da sem ting you be doin." So here it is, John Madden's Super Bowl Sunday experience.
5:30 am- John Madden wakes up and mutters something so incoherent that no one can even pretend to know what he says.
6:00 am- John walks into his kitchen for breakfast, it's Turducken.
6:02 am- John forgets to apply standard amount of gravy to Turducken, but is too lazy to fix the situation.
6:30 am- John pops in game tape of the Pats/Giants regular season game, mutes his TV, does his own color commentary, does not fast forward through commercials.
9:45 am- Takes Brett Favre (his dog) for a walk
10:30 am- NAP TIME!!!!!!!! John is quite tired, Brett Favre (dog) just doesn't know when to quit.
12:30 pm- John walks to his kitchen for lunch, it's Turducken
12:32 pm- Forgets gravy again, but fixes situation, says first real word for the day, "BOOM." John likes gravy.
1:00 pm- Lets Brett Favre (dog) outside because he's getting old and messes in the house from time time.
1:03 pm- John goes to the bathroom himself, for the first time of the day... it's Turducken.
2:00 pm- John readies the appetizers and main course, nachos and yes, Turducken.
3:00 pm- John curses Frank Caliendo.
4:00 pm- Al Michaels is the first guest to arrive.
4:13- Pat Summerall is the second guest to arrive.
4:14 pm- Al Michaels is the first guest to leave.
4:30 pm- John is so excited he can't stop yelling. "Boom, Boom, BOOM!!!!"
4:31 pm- John's neighbor calls the cops. (Cops don't care.)
Gametime- John and Pat sit down on the loveseat for the game, but John forgets Brett Favre (dog) is still outside and it's cold out. Brett Favre (dog) can't handle the cold.
Halftime- John calls Brett Favre (person) and asks why he didn't come to the party. Brett avoids the question, thanks John for the nice Christmas card he sent again, and quickly hangs up.
Postgame- Pat leaves, John gives him a hug, says "Boom." Pat, in a rare instance, responds with a "Boom" himself. Pat is going to stop at McDonald's on the way home, John ate all the Turducken.
10:30 pm- John puts Super Bowl game tape in, turns down the volume, does his own color commentary. John hates Joe Buck. He doesn't fast-forward through commercials, those things were funny.
1:45 am- John puts Brett Favre (dog) outside before bed, Brett Favre (dog) wasn't really sure if he wanted to go out, but after a couple minutes he committed.
2:00 am- John goes to the bathroom, brushes his teeth, uses the toilet... it's Turducken.
2:57 am- John heads to his bedroom for a good night's sleep. The day was busy; good company, good food, good game. John says one quiet "Boom" to himself, tucks Brett Favre (dog) in and falls asleep.