If Barak Obama Were NFL Commissioner

Mike MartinCorrespondent IOctober 28, 2008

His face is everywhere. You can’t miss his face on the Internet. Even on this site, there are banners and ads telling us to vote early. Recently, Democratic Presidential Candidate Barak Obama had an exchange with Joe Wurzelbacher from Toledo, OH regarding Obama's tax agenda. 


Joe the Plumber, as he’s referred to now, asked Obama to explain his taxing policies. In answering Joe, Obama admitted that his goal is to “spread the wealth." This got me to thinking, “How would Obama’s Marxist-like policies go over if he were NFL Commissioner?” 


The NFL has already set up many ways to provide each team equal opportunity. The NFL draft is configured so that teams draft in reverse order of the final standings from the previous season.


The schedule makers also have their hand in leveling the playing field by giving the Super Bowl champs the toughest schedule and the worst team the easiest. But, just like in real life, not every team or every person can take an opportunity and turn it into a trophy.


Clearly, the New England Patriots, the Dallas Cowboys, the Pittsburgh Steelers, and San Francisco 49ers are the wealthiest. Between those four teams, they have 18 silver Lombardi Trophies and gold Super Bowl Champion rings, not to mention all of the revenue from all the merchandise a team receives from winning the biggest game in pro sports.


The NFL poor are Cincinnati and Detroit, with a grand total of zero wins this season and zero championships overall.



NFC Rivals: Dallas and Detroit


Detroit hasn’t adopted the “Lovable Loser” tag. They’ve continually languished near the bottom of the standings year in and year out. The ownership has held onto bad managers. They’ve drafted well but the execution has not been present on the field. 


Conversely, Dallas has always brought in talent via trade, free-agent signing, or the draft. They leveraged Hershel Walker in a blockbuster deal that the Cowboys were able to parlay into three championships over the next few years. 


In order to make Detroit not feel so bad or discouraged about their plight, Dallas should be forced to surrender one of their five championships.



AFC Foes: New England and Cincinnati


Cincinnati’s players have had their run-ins with the law. Bengal players have been suspended for operating boats and motor vehicles under the influence, burglary, grand theft, and drug and weapons charges. But that’s just being human.


On the other hand, New England has been able to win with a “Team First” mentality that runs through the organization. They’ve taken on problematic players like Randy Moss and Corey Dillon and have managed to get those players on board by checking their egos.


While the team that Dillon left behind, Cincinnati, is sitting at 0-7, the team he fled to, the Patriots, have managed to keep winning, even with their Pro Bowl and Super Bowl MVP Quarterback, Tom Brady. It’s almost unfair. 


The Patriots need to spread the wealth and hand off one of their Lombardi Trophies to Cincinnati. 


As for this season, we can’t continue to allow teams like Detroit and Cincinnati not enjoy the fruits of labor. Pittsburgh should be playing for Cincinnati. If Pittsburgh wins it all, they should just hand over the winnings to their worthy opponents, the Cincinnati Bengals. Likewise, the NFC should, collectively, offer their trophy, rings, and money earned to the Detroit Lions.