What the Future Holds for Shaquille O'Neal

This is my fear.

An ill-advised television show that puts the one and only Shaquille ONeal against other great athletes from other sports and has him compete against them in a half hour television program.

Of course, the odds will be placed in Shaquille favor by making it nearly impossible for him to lose. He might face Ben Roethlisberger in an accuracy contest or Albert Pujols in a display of home run power. It would be witty (because it stars "thee" Shaquille ONeal) and would probably be called something like "Shaq Vs."

Oh wait, that's already happened

Another possible scenario includes Shaq taking his talents to the big screen, but not in your typical role of police officer or stay at home Dad. Shaquille ONeal will, naturally, be portraying a 3,000 year old genie.

This role would showcase his supreme acting chops and be both witty and heart wrenching. There would, undoubtedly, have to be a scene where Shaq raps and then makes cheese burgers fall from the sky. The name of the movie could be called "Genie" or something off the wall like "Kazam."

Darn! He's already done that too.

My last idea for Shaq would be to pursue a career in music. If Prince and Madonna can do it, then why not Shaq? He could sing tenor or maybe play the guitar, but that would be too easy for a man of his talents. The only thing that would "artistically" satisfy him would be a career as a rapper.

He could write songs about his playing days and could even call out former teammates by posing questions like, "how's my ass taste?" The lyrics would have to be very deep and meaningful. He might want to title his first album "Diesel" or "Aspirations of an Intellectual."

This is yet another endeavor that Shaquille ONeal has taken part in. The man seems to have done everything that a retired NBA legend ought to do. I, for one, believe that his retirement will be a temporary one and that "The Big Diesel" will return to the court in less than a year, feeling that he still has a little left in the tank.

I hope for his sake that he does not.