The 25 Worst Wardrobe Malfunctions in Sports

Timothy RappFeatured ColumnistJune 7, 2011

The 25 Worst Wardrobe Malfunctions in Sports

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    Sporting events are intense, competitive affairs that offer sparse moments of humor while they are played, which is why nothing is as funny during a game as a wardrobe malfunction.

    It doesn't matter what the malfunction might be—misspellings, pants dropping, jerseys tearing—it is wildly entertaining, mostly because it is wildly unexpected.

    And so, in honor of some of the most dishonorable uniform gaffes in sports, we present the 25 worst wardrobe malfunctions in sports.

    Some of these jersey fails will have you splitting a side in laughter.

    Just be glad you aren't splitting your pants.

25. If You're Going to San Francicso

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    Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.

    And if you are Eugenio Velez, make sure they spelled San Francisco correctly on your jersey.

24. Joe Carter Plays for "Torotno?"

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    Joe Carter wore his "Torotno" jersey for six innings during a 1994 game against the Rangers.

    In news I am making up, the headline the next day in the local paper read, "What was Joe Carter's wardrobe malfunction all aboot?" and nobody blinked an eye.

23. Ricky Berens Tears It Up

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    The best part of this wardrobe malfunction?

    After ripping his suit, Berens ended up qualifying for the final of the 2009 world swimming championships in Rome.

22. I Have a Feeling This Happens a Lot in Lingerie Football

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    Move your bloody hands, man!

21. Hold Still, Mustafa Shakur!

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    In January of this year, Mustafa Shakur was called up from the D-League to the Wizards, though his debut was unexpected, to say the least.

    From Ball Don't Lie:

    His number, and last name, were stitched on at the last second by a Wizards employee. And while the stitching held up, it was clear the Wizards employee didn't exactly hold up the number placement to any sort of scrutiny, because the number "22" was a little down, and to the left. And with plenty of spacing between the two "2"s.

    Honestly, it looks like this was stitched by a man who had just drank his sixth Red Bull of the evening.

20. I Blame Daniel Snyder for This Too

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    How should it actually be spelled?

    M-I-S-M-A-N-A-G-E-D.

     

    Photo from Total Pro Sports

19. Andray Blatche Needs the Spelling Bee Kids

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    Excellent telestrator work here.

    John Madden would be proud.

18. Jenifer Benitez Wants to Know Who Put Sand in the Pool?

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    I mean, that would explain why she would maneuver her suit in such a manner during a televised event, right?

17. We Aren't Talking About Practice, Steve Nash

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    That's teamwork, people.

    Finally, someone on the Suns other than Steve Nash can be credited with an assist.

16. Donyell Marshall Is Really Rusty

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    "It's been a while since Donyell's been in a ball game."

    Hey, rub it in why don't you?

15. Ron Artest Is an Odd Dude

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    I'm not sure what is more disturbing—Artest pulling Paul Pierce's shorts down in the middle of an NBA game, or his song of apology at the end of the video.

    Seriously, what happens in that man's brain?

14. "The Broncos Lost a Yard, Tommy Kelly Lost His Pants"

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    At least we know Kelly isn't too big for his britches.

    He really belted that running back.

    Kelly is looking like a fool with his pants on the ground.

Dishonorable Mention: Craig Sager

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    Sigh.

13. Steve Lyons Is Way Too Comfortable at the Ballpark

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    Do you need more of an explanation beyond his nickname being "Psycho"?

    I don't.

12. Amar'e Stoudemire Is No. 1

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    Or at least he was.

11. And Venus Fires Her Designer

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    How often do you think the maker of this video replayed this at home?

    Thankfully, after ogling over Venus for a few hours, they decided to add some upbeat music and a few instant replays for your YouTube enjoyment.

    What a wonderful place the Internet is.

10. Garish Raincoats Embarrass All

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    The 2010 American Ryder Cup team was met with a few raised eyebrows when it debuted these "flashy" raincoats during the tournament.

    Yes, this is considered flashy in golf circles.

    But not only were the raincoats flashy, they didn't even keep the players dry. The story goes that Corey Pavin's wife Lisa insisted the names of the players be embroidered on the back of the coats, which of course involved poking a number of tiny holes into the jackets.

    Function over fashion, people!

9. Tom Arnold Pantsed Marisa Miller!

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    Thank you for this, Tom Arnold.

    Now please feel free to go back to obscurity.

8. In Our "Natin's" Capital, No Less

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    The apology from Majestic Athletic after this incident in 2009:

    "All of us at Majestic Athletic want to apologize to both the Washington Nationals and Major League Baseball for accidentally omitting the 'o' in two Nationals jerseys," Majestic Athletic president Jim Pisani said in a statement distributed at Nationals Park on Tuesday.

    "We take 100 percent responsibility for this event and we regret any embarrassment for the Nationals organization, players and fans," the statement continued.

    O! Say, can you see?

7. Gillian Cooke

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    I've heard of showing the split time in a race, but this is just ridiculous.

6. Somebody Got "Firde" for This

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    You spelled "Smith" wrong?

    SMITH?

    (Shaking my head.)

5. Flavia Zoccari

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    What was really tragic for Zoccari was that she was disqualified from her finals race in the 2009 Mediterranean Games in Pescara, Italy, for this wardrobe rip, which is just ridiculous—she was only trying to add a bit of Flavia to the event.

    That joke may have been a bit of a stretch.

4. Devin Hester Didn't Just Drop the Ball

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    Don't worry, I won't make any cheeky jokes about this video.

3. Ekaterina Rubleva Breaks a Strap

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    There is a YouTube video of this particular wardrobe malfunction, and trust me, it is so worth it.

    Between Rubleva trying to maintain her routine while keeping her dress from falling and exposing her breast (she broke a strap), to Ivan Shefer's ridiculous mullet, the video is chock-full of fun.

    Plus, they show a slow-motion replay of the wardrobe gaffe on the broadcast at the end.

2. "Ohhhhhhhh"

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    How does anyone concentrate on the actual game when things like this happen?

    This is what happens when you miss your read and don't make the pitch on the option play, kids.

1. Nipple-Gate

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    As you might recall, the backlash from Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake's halftime performance at the 2004 Super Bowl was massive (ridiculous). To refresh your memory, Timberlake yanked on Jackson's shirt, briefly exposing (it was on the screen for half a second) Jackson's breast, which was adorned with a star nipple shield.

    Some involved cited it as a wardrobe malfunction:

    Jackson spokesman Stephen Huvane said the incident "was a malfunction of the wardrobe; it was not intentional...He was supposed to pull away the bustier and leave the red-lace bra."

    Others, such as Federal Communications Commission Chairman Michael Powell, thought it was planned, inappropriate publicity:

    "Clearly somebody had knowledge of it. Clearly it was something that was planned by someone," he said. "She probably got what she was looking for."

    And some of us thought the whole thing was blown way out of proportion.

     

    Be sure to hit me up on Twitter (@TRappaRT) along with the entire B/R Swagger team (@BR_Swagger)