Cyber Sunday is just four days away, but some WWE fans are still left with the question: What and who should I vote for? Well, it’s simple. We have a few good options, and a few that are a little questionable. Let’s get started.
Santino Marella Vs. A) Honky Tonk Man, B) Goldust, or C) “Rowdy” Roddy Piper For the Intercontinental Championship
Well, this is at the very least gonna be a “Laffapalooza”, something Santino would say. If you vote for Honky, please let it be so we can see the “Honk-A-Meter” disappear. Something that was funny the first time, chuckle-worthy the second, and a channel turner the third time has gone on WAY too long. Hopefully we don’t have to watch it for fifty five more weeks when Santino finally becomes “The Greatest Intercontinental Champion of All Time”. A Santino/Goldust match might not be bad. It would definitely be interesting. One thing that concerns me though is that the last time we saw Dustin Rhodes it was in TNA as a Goldust rip-off named Black Reign. ‘Nuff said. Finally we come to The Rowdy one. Piper will definitely put on a great show, but I’m not sure how well he’ll do in a “wrasslin’” match, especially against Santino. A lot of people rip Santino because he’s “only good for a funny interview”, but he’s got good wrestling talent too. He can sell anything, and he’s a decent ring technician. WWE just needs to let him show that to everybody.
Final Pick: Goldust
Rey Mysterio Vs. Kane: A) Falls Count Anywhere, B) No Holds Barred, or C) Two Out of Three Falls Match
Why is this angle STILL going on? Ok, that’s a question for another article, so I’ll just get on with this one. The first two can pretty much be summed up in one try. Falls Count Anywhere, it’s pretty self-explanatory. No DQ’s, no count-outs. Just two men throwing it at each other and wherever they fall, they count. No Holds Barred, again, it’s pretty self-explanatory. A low-blow is as legal as a headlock. A back rake is as legal as a Figure-4. An eye rake- You get it by now? The final match choice just doesn’t make much sense to me. A Two Out of Three Falls match with no special stipulations. Now, maybe if the first fall was a regular match, the second fall was Falls Count Anywhere, and the third fall was a Steel Cage match. Then, it might be worth voting for. For me, this match is going to be nothing more than just another confusing Monday Night Raw main event (Good example: Jericho/Batista Gauntlet Match. 10/20/08). So I guess it depends on what you, the viewer, want to happen while you’re making a sandwich, or taking a leak.
Final Pick: Falls Count Anywhere or No Holds Barred. Live or Die, make your choice.
Undertaker Vs. Big Show: A) Knockout Match, B) I Quit Match, or C) Last Man Standing Match
Finally! A feud that makes sense! Sort of. Not one of my favorite matches on the card either, but it will be a good one no matter what. If you ask me, the first choice and the third choice are the same. You have to knock your opponent out to win. Only difference is that in the Knockout Match your opponent has to be KO’d, in the Last Man Standing Match your opponent has to stay on the mat for a 10 count. Again, you’re almost voting for the same match, but that’s just me. The I Quit Match is kind of a goofy pick for this. By “I Quit” do they mean “I give up” or “I quit my day job”? If it’s the second option then that seems stupid to me considering that Undertaker JUST came back from a “You’re Fired” angle. If it’s the first, then that might not be a bad choice. Here, I kind of want to see how they would work a “Knockout” finish again, but it’s not worth seeing the same thing twice.
Final Pick: Last Man Standing Match
Triple H Vs. A) Jeff Hardy, B) Vladimir Kozlov, or C) A Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship
Smackdown’s two biggest faces, and an evil Russian heel. I’m surprised they didn’t try to work Hogan in on this somehow. Anyways, a vote for Hardy is a vote for a rematch. If you’re a Hardy fan, nothing I say, or do, will get you away from your cell phone since you’re texting your little “extreme” fingers off trying to get him in the main event so he can finally win the “Big One”. If you’re still reading this, I’m moving on to option B. Vladimir Kozlov, the “Moscow Mauler”. One word: WOW! Have you seen this guy? Ok, I will admit, the Headbutt is a little ridiculous. He’s a big dude, give him a slam or a Powerbomb. A Headbutt? Oooooooookay WWE. Kozlov and Triple H would put on a great show of power, something that we haven’t truly seen since Hogan and Warrior. Some say Summerslam ’08 when Batista wrestled John Cena, but I would beg to differ. A triple threat match would be interesting seeing as Hardy’s more of a high-flyer, and I love to see him take that Headbutt when he’s flying off the top rope, and hunter and Kozlov are a little more power-based. While the third option would be a good match and an interesting finish, I still want to see Vladimir Kozlov get his shot one-on-one.
Final Pick: Vladimir Kozlov
Chris Jericho Vs. Batista Special Referee: A) Randy Orton, B) Shawn Michaels, or C) “Stone Cold” Steve Austin for the World Heavyweight Championship
This is going to be one hell of a match, but there’s only two ways to go with it. Now, I realize I will receive some negativity for shunning Austin as the third pick here, but he has absolutely nothing to do with this storyline! What did WWE do, throw a bunch of names in the hat and peek out of their fingers to make sure they go Austin just to boost some ratings? Why not throw the Honky Tonk Man in their? So, my only two choices are Orton and Michaels. If you put Randy Orton in this match, then you’re creating a future storyline. Whoever wins this match will most likely feud with Orton in the long run, so having Orton as the ref in this bout will already put some heat between the two. If Orton is refereeing this fight then we’ll probably see Batista go over and see some sort of “Former Evolution stable mates collide!” storyline. Personally, I want to see a Chris Jericho/Randy Orton feud that ends with a clean finish, not a JBL run-in. On the other hand, if Michaels is refereeing this match, you again will probably see Batista go over Jericho for the belt just so we can continue this ratings catch-all net between Jericho and HBK. It’s a great feud, don’t get me wrong, but where else can they go with it? They’ve beat the holy hell out of each other, fought over the World Heavyweight Title in a Ladder Match, and WWE wants to give them another gimmick match? Put them in an Ultimate X match. I’ll pay anything to see that. So basically, if you’re going to vote on this one at all, vote on Orton or Michaels.
My Final Pick: Randy Orton