Five Reasons Why Michigan Fans Should Shut Up

Matt FrazierContributor IOctober 22, 2008


Sure everyone has a team to root for. Most of us even have a rival school that we dislike simply because they are the "other school". But if you are a Michigan fan, it works a little differently. Michigan fans think that they are the class of the Big Ten, that the Wolverines are unstoppable, and if something DOES stop them (God forbid) it was of no fault of their own.

My dear friends, I beg you to stop. For the sake of your own dignity, just stop talking. Michigan fans think that OSU has made the Big Ten Conference laughable because of their recent attempts at winning a National Championship. I say nay, it is you Wolver”skunks” that are the laughing stock, and here are my reasons:

5. Appy State

Granted this was actually a pretty good team, which went on to win the National Championship for the third straight year. But you are the MIGHTY Wolverines, right? The game was lost at the “Big Hole”, right? How could a team that is so unstoppable lose to a FCS team on opening day of Lloyd Carr’s last year? Hmm, it must've been a fluke.


Okay, the fluke repeated itself. Granted OSU has gotten blown out in the last few non-conference games, but losing to a MAC team? Mighty Michigan? "Oh, it’s a rebuilding year". Excuses, Excuses.

Coach D, of my beloved Spartans led Michigan State to a bowl game in his first year, a year that many thought would be a rebuilding year, and we are "little brother" right?

3. Any Sport but football

Ask most Michigan fans about Basketball, or Hockey, soccer, or any other sport. The response you are most likely to get is, "nobody cares about that". When MSU won the National Championship two years ago, that was the response I got.

Really? In Michigan no one cares about hockey? The last I checked the Red Wings were very well supported and didn't they just win some kind of championship? Apparently no one cared, because it wasn't football.

2. The "Fraud" 5

The one time Michigan fans did care about basketball was when the likes of the "Fab Five" were winning Championships. For the life of me I can’t seem to find that in the record books. Oh yeah, they were sanctioned by the NCAA because a booster had illegal contact with the players. That must be why no one cares about basketball—that is until the next time Michigan has a decent team.

1. Wal-Mart Wolverines

These are the biggest reasons that people outside of the Michigan fan base absolutely hate the Wolverines. You know these people—the ones that have never gone to school there, have no family that went there, but they buy the $10 shirts at Wal-Mart and put down other schools' fans.

I used to get mad about these people, but it’s just way too funny. I know that the Michigan alum don't like these people either, but unfortunately that is a huge part of the fan base—and it's funny.

Granted there are going to be those of you that disagree with me, but keep in mind I wrote this in the spirit of a rivalry. It was meant as a joke—I have a lot of good friends who attend Michigan who have a lot of fun with this rivalry.

It’s those who hide behind a computer insulting another school's academics, fans, and athletics that the majority of this article was aimed at (see reason number one). It was also aimed at the poster who wrote about Michigan’s dominance over "little brother".

Well "Sister", here is to a great game on Saturday!