This exclusive Ferrari only membership club has many benefits. Including:
· Anti overtaking assurance
o Been overtaken? Feel a bit silly? Don’t worry, we’ll rule out the other party—even if it’s embarrassingly obvious that they’re faster than you.
· Exclusive access to a secret "second lane" in the pits
o Just to make things a little bit easier we’ve arranged a private second lane—just for you.
· Guaranteed world championship?
o Had a crash? Need to win the world championship? Don’t worry just limp across the track and take off your nearest championship title contender—we’ll do the rest.
· A bit strapped? Need extra cash?
o Simply get one of your team to tell someone else how you make your cars. We’ll guarantee a $100,000,000 windfall so that the rich get richer!
· Bits falling off your car? Looking a bit dangerous?
o At Ferrari International Assistance we operate a "blind eye" policy just for Ferrari drivers.
· Been a bit silly? Taken off another driver whilst following the safety car?
o It’s OK, as long as you didn’t hurt yourself. I mean, who are Force India anyway? And how dare they be in from of you.
· A bit bored? Want some extra action?
o With FIA plus you can take part in a number of additional membership activities including the popular "kill your pit crew" game.
· Not sure when you might need us next?
o Relax. Check out our track record. We’re confident that we’ll be able to make something up on the spot that will get you out of any pickle that you might find yourself in.
*Order our FIA plus pack and receive exclusive access to our Nazi style organizations*
Ferrari International Assistance - Making it up as we go along for over 100 years
Authors note: I didn't write this. I just found it funny and thought I would share it.