NFL Week Seven: Letters to the League

To: Jerry Jones

Re: Pinkiegate

There's a new character in the Dallas soap opera: Tony Romo's pinkie.

Man, I'm wondering what Jessica has to say about all this.

Jerry, you're the most entertaining owner in the league because you do what you want. Hey, I know, you own the team—why can't you play catch with the starting quarterback?

And that is exactly what you did. But there were other motives, no?

Not only are you a multimillionaire owner, but you're also a keen evaluator of health.

Perhaps Cleveland could use your help with their pesky little staph situation.

But what I like most about you is your ability to motivate.

"It's down to can he handle the pain?" Yes, those were your words last Friday morning.

You must have been so bummed when your $67 million QB wasn't able to get involved in that mess on Sunday.

To: Vince Young

Re: Bashful Vince?

A few things:

"They know good and well, I ain't trying to commit suicide or all that kind of crap." Thanks for clearing that one up for us Vince. I couldn't have said it better myself.

"I'm a great guy, a great humble guy." Hey, me too, but I'm kinda more into the speak-softly-carry-a-big-stick, let-my-actions-speak-for-themselves kind of thing.

Some day we'll all look back on this and laugh.

To: Drew Stanton

Re: drewstanton.com

Drew, I keep seeing all these ads in my gmail account about your blog. Since "Dandy" Dan Orlovsky is the starter in Detroit, I decided to check it out.

It must be difficult to run a blog on your experiences in Detroit and stay positive.

Reading things like, "We are fortunate to be so deep at receiver, so losing Roy hurts but it is not devastating as Mike Furrey and Shaun McDonald are great talents," and "Matt Millen was nothing but a first-class man from the day I met him" show you're a company man through and through.

Keep up the good work.

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