Why We Don't "Gotta Have" Faith

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Why We Don't

Football is exciting—the hits, the plays, the teams, the athletes.  I wait all week for Sunday—for football!  Just thinking about it gives a fan like me goosebumps.  A good game of football can get me more excited than Christmas.

"I've been waiting all day for Sunday Night..."

I love football.  Football makes friends and enemies.  Football gives common ground to awkward conversations with co-workers.  It gives everyone an excuse to enjoy Sunday.  Football means chicken wings, BBQ, nachos, beer—the works!

Everyone I know that matters watches football on Sunday night.  If you don't like football, you don't know what you're missing.  I love to hear the players talk trash about the other team—they live and breathe football.  Winning is everything.

"The tough get rough in a prime-time fight!
More than a game, it's every fans' right,
Cause I've been waiting all day for Sunday Night!!"

Let's pretend it's Sunday, shall we?  It's football time!  Turn on the TV!  Everyone in the room is either sitting on the edge of their seat or standing at attention; fists clenched and apprehensive smiles plastered on their faces.

Now try and keep that excitement during Faith Hills' monotonous massacre of a song.  Just try it.  I'll bet you five hundred bucks you can't hold your pose until the game starts.

Not only does the song last forever with three verses, but it drags tempo.  I know we aren't all musically inclined, but I think everyone can agree that the song is too slow and boring.  BORING!

Faith Hill ruins the atmosphere for Sunday Night Football.  She doesn't even look happy to be singing the song—she doesn't smile or anything!  The only movement she attempts is the choreographed fist-pump at the end of the song.  I wonder how many takes it took her to do it right.

She is a misfit.  What does she do during the song?  NOTHING!  She just stands there and does a horrible job of mouthing the words. 

Ugh, the words!  This song must have been written by a second grader!  The only stanza I might approve is the one previously quoted in this article.  The rest I will not torture you with, I know we've all heard it a few times too many.

"Sunday Night Football on NBC, Al and John are the best on TV..."

It makes me picture some ditsy blond trying to write a song about football.  She calls her boyfriend and asks, "Who are the two guys that are talking during the game... Ok, Al... Michaels... and John Madden.

That's three names, I thought you said there were only two guys who talked during the football game!" she giggles in to the phone while twirling her hair.

"Oh, I get it.  His last name is Michaels, hee hee! I'd better just use their first names so I get it right..."

I can just see it now.

Faith Hill gives women football fans a bad name.  She certainly doesn't represent a woman who can carry on a conversation about the sport.  If she were trying to depict a real football fan, she would look semi-excited to be singing the opening song.

Faith may not have written the song or directed the video.  But she could have put some effort into it—after all, it is her face we're staring at for the agonizing minute and fifteen seconds of hell.

Simply stated, Sunday Night football needs a better singer than Faith Hill to get an audience pumped for the game.

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