Greetings from the Frozen Tundra, friends!
Wisconsin is entering into summer, when the unofficial state bird (the mosquito) buzzes in our ears, as the gentle smell of fresh cow manure teases/assaults our senses.
Where a two mile long line of cars on a country road is not due to an accident or road construction, but instead is caused by a cute little old dude on a tractor, puttering along at five miles per hour, oblivious to the mayhem that he is causing.
Ahh...Wisconsin in the spring/summer. Who doesn't love it?
Anyway, with the 2011 NFL Draft over and no end in sight for the lockout, a lot of fans in Wisconsin are turning to other ways to occupy their time.
One way? Watching baseball. Another way? Going out into the great outdoors, spending time with nature, communing as one.
Now, before you think that I am turning into a complete hippie, you must consider that Wisconsinites spend over half of the year, huddled indoors, waiting for spring to come. Another thing that you must consider is that most people are having the first initial twinges of football anxiety.
This was not helped by the 2011 Packers Tailgate Tour that occurred this past week.
For those of you who are not in Wisconsin, former and current Packer players travel around the State of Wisconsin and the Upper Peninsula of Michigan in a bus, hanging out with fans and talking football.
While it impressed me that the Tailgate Tour ventured into Michigan, I had only one thought: Michigan, the Packer Nation is staging an invasion! U.P. citizens! Do not be alarmed! We do not seek to harm you.
We may make you eat cheese and drink some beer (Old Milwaukee!), but it is all good.
Regardless, the Tailgate Tour rolled on, and for the sake of my sanity, I did not attend. While I would've loved to meet the players, I didn't think they would appreciate seeing this furry Norwegian throwing myself at their feet and pleading for football.
Imagine this: Josh Sitton, Matt Flynn and Desmond Bishop, among others, hanging out and signing autographs. When suddenly, a nearly six foot tall Norwegian woman, who loves football, throws herself on the ground, pleading: "Matt Flynn! Just throw one pass! We can find some big dudes to play defense! We live in Wisconsin! We are a large people! PLEASE!!!"
I would've been arrested.
As I have been told that I am too cute for jail, per Manpig (my husband), I cannot verify this fact to be true. While he has said this, in order to get out of verbal beat down for some boneheaded comment that he made, I do not recommend his "wooing" techniques to other men out there.
If you feel the need to say, "You are too cute to go to jail," you may just want to fork out some cash and buy some flowers, okay? You will be able to sleep without one eye open that night. Additionally, you can sleep without having the fear that a tall, furry woman is going to be hovering over you while you sleep, quietly plotting how she is going to cut off your caffeine intake by conveniently disabling the coffee maker during the long, dark night.
As you may be addicted to coffee, this could be a devastating blow to your day, if this were to occur.
Just thought I'd give you fair warning—not that I would do anything like that, or anything.
So, yes, the other Packer news is that there may be a renovation done to Lambeau Field. I have two words for you: Yes, please.
Season Packer tickets are handed down through generations. Single game day tickets are discussed with awe and envy by the poor schlumps that have to watch at home.
While Lambeau Field is one of the best known landmarks in Wisconsin, who wouldn't love to have the opportunity to possibly get tickets for a game? I know I would.
With that being said, let's keep ourselves busy for the week, shall we?