Top 50 One-Liners in Sports
Around the world, words can have different meanings. One thing in the United States can mean an entirely different thing across the world.
But even though words seem to only be a mere combination of symbols, the power of the spoken word can do things never thought imaginable.
One sentence can ruin a man's career, or start one.
One sentence can make a man permanently infamous, or make him the most beloved icon of a generation.
And then there are all the ones in between.
These are the Top 50 One-Liners in Sports, both fictional and non-fictional.
No. 50: "I’ve Been Big Ever Since I Was Little"
Known mostly for his defensive prowess, William "The Refrigerator" Perry would come in for goal line and fourth-and-short situations whenever the Bears needed someone to plow through a defensive line for a much-needed yard or two.
Perry proudly displayed his sense of humor with this funny quote.
No. 49: "I’ve Been Playing Like Erick Dampier"
Shaq should have his own countdown for all of the quotable one-liners he has to himself, but I picked this one as my personal favorite, just because the amount of times over the years he rips on Erick Dampier.
No. 48: "....I’d Run over Her If She Was in My Way"
Raiders running back Bo Jackson, showed just how competitive he was by saying he would run over his own mother if she were on another team.
No. 47: "Money Won Is Twice as Sweet as Money Earned"
Fast Eddy, played by Paul Newman, shared several nuggets of wisdom with his cocky protégé Vincent Lauria (Tom Cruise) in The Color of Money.
Vincent learned so many hustle tricks that he pulled one himself at the very end of the movie.
This truth bomb Eddy dropped was the most memorable in the film.
No. 46: "Strike This Mother F***** Out!"
With this line, Roger Dorn (left) proves in this wonderful scene from Major League that the Indians leaving the game triumphant is more important than his wife's adultery with Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn.
One of many moments featured on this slideshow that may be funnier on edited cable television.
No. 45: "Let's Put the Women and Children to Bed and Go Looking for Dinner"
I don't know what kind of college football program James Caan was running, but I do know that it was out of control.
The Lobos were full of unpredictable characters.
They include a steroid-using behemoth who participated in sexual assault, a crazed linebacker and a running back from the streets, among other things.
But one thing was constant. When Joe Kane uttered those assuring words in The Program, a long touchdown was about to be thrown.
No. 44: "How Much Money Do You Have?"
In 1995 at Wimbledon, Steffi Graf was in a difficult match against Kimiko Date.
Then someone from the stands yelled, "Will you marry me?"
Not only is this response funny and amusing, it showed that Graf, more known for being stoic and cerebral, had a sense of humor.
No. 43: "I’m a F****** Soldier!"
This is one of the harder things to watch.
Seeing Kellen Winslow try that hard to be a tough guy is like watching a train wreck. The carnage is unfathomable, but you can't help but watch.
The comedy from this is similar to The Office. Many parts are funny, but as a whole it makes you squeamish because of how awkward it is.
No. 42: "....I Have My Two Stanley Cup Rings Plugging My Ears"
After Game 4 of the 1996 Western Conference semifinals, Jeremy Roenick was quoted as saying, "It should have been a penalty shot, there's no doubt about it. I like Patrick's quote that he would've stopped me. I'd just want to know where he was in Game 3, probably getting his jock out of the rafters in the United Center maybe."
Roenick was referring to a breakaway that was stopped by Patrick Roy after Roenick was tackled going towards the net.
Roy retorted perfectly, putting Roenick on permanent notice.
No. 41: "If I Can Change, and You Can Change, Everybody Can Change"
What does one man do once he has taken an entire crowd that was initially against him and turned them over to his side?
He does what GI Joe and the rest of us preaching Americans would do and gives a speech about how the world can change for peace and the betterment of mankind.
It is, of course, welcomed with a standing ovation in Rocky IV. Just like it would be in real life.
No. 40: "Not One, Not Two, Not Three, Not Four, Not Five, Not Six, Not Seven…"
The summer of 2010 was one that sports fans, and NBA fans especially, will never forget.
The players swapped will produce a ripple that will shape the NBA for the rest of the decade.
Of course, none were bigger or more controversial than LeBron James and Chris Bosh's decision to join Dwyane Wade in Miami.
Much of the hatred is deserved after pulling stunts and quotes like this one before they had won anything.
We can only wait and see if LeBron's quote will be true or one of the silliest declarations in sports history.
No. 39: "Dave's a Killer!"
In this scene from Slapshot, Dave Carlson has a problem with what an opponent has to say to Reggie Dunlop, which leads to Hanson solving the problem the only way he knows how.
By starting a huge fight.
No 38: "And Rubbin’, Son, Is Racing"
Cole Trickle (Tom Cruise) learns the most important rule of stock car racing from Harry Hogge, played by Robert Duvall.
There are a lot of things in Days of Thunder that are outstanding.
But the most impressive thing has to be the amount of damage these cars can take and still have the ability to reach top speed for a substantial time period.
No. 37: "I Wanna Eat His Children"
Mike Tyson's storied life is that of many ups and even more downs.
He grew up in the slums of Brooklyn, mostly alone and confused.
He was brought up to survive in a rough neighborhood, instead of learning how to act like a civilized human being.
He was only trying to talk trash to Lennox Lewis that day, but Tyson has never understood the impact of what the spoken word can do.
No. 36: "I'm Feeling Like I Wanna Rage...Right Now!"
The San Francisco Giants have three of the coolest players in the majors.
3) Tim Lincecum
2) Brian Wilson
1) Brian Wilson's beard
I have never wanted to party with someone more than when I saw Wilson's response to how he was feeling.
No. 35: "You Find Out, Life Is a Game of Inches"
Al Pacino's speech in Any Given Sunday is one of the manliest speeches ever given.
If this doesn't give you chills the first time you hear it, I need your address so I can hunt you down.
Because you're most likely a zombie that is about to spread a virus that leads to the destruction of Planet Earth.
No. 34: "I’ll Make It"
With the biggest game in their lives on the line, Jimmy Chitwood utters this assuring line to Coach Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) in Hoosiers.
When they shared the look, Coach Dale showed his confidence in Jimmy and gave him the last shot, which of course became the game-winner.
According to imdb.com, actor Maris Valainis was told that make or miss, the crowd would rush the court for a wide shot in the movie. He sunk it, to win the Indiana State Championship in the film and to make a good shot even better.
No. 33: Hey Yankees, You Can Take Your Apology and Shove It...!
With this line from a team of rejects and an alcoholic coach, Tanner Boyle and The Bad News Bears echo a sentiment that everyone shares who isn't from New York or a bandwagoner.
No. 32: "The Price Is Wrong, Bitch!"
To be honest, I could have filled up these 50 slides with all of my favorite Happy Gilmore quotes.
I could probably recite the entire script of this movie, which made it tough to pick a favorite line from the movie.
I decided to go with probably the most famous line, which comes from one of the funniest and entertaining scenes in cinematic history.
That last declaration may be too strong for some, but this is my argument:
Tell me another movie moment that has Bob Barker in a fight and saying the word "bitch" all in one scene.
No. 31: "I Must Break You"
In Rocky IV, Rocky represented the United States by building muscle using rocks, carts, lumber and anything else he has at his disposal.
Meanwhile, the Soviets created Ivan Drago, a steroid freak. Using the most up-to-date technology, they concocted a man capable of a 2,150-psi punch.
When the moment arrives when the fighters face one another, Drago towers over Rocky, delivering one of the most intimidating lines in sports movie history.
No. 30: "Be the Ball"
I am sure that the readers that are a generation older than I am are up in arms about the fact that Caddyshack isn't taking over half of this slideshow. But this is the line I picked.
To those fans, I apologize. We all know how good it is because it's been said a thousand times before. I wanted to let other movies have their shining moment.
Having said that, this movie really does deserve all of its accolades, and if you haven't seen it yet, purchase it immediately.
No. 29: "Anything Is Possible!"
Seeing a man of Kevin Garnett's stature break down because of victory is not only a turning point for anyone with a soul, but a million-dollar opportunity for adidas.
No. 28: "Lollygaggers!"
Bull Durham is chock full of one-liners, and this scene produces about five of them.
But in my humble opinion, it doesn't get any better than when Larry immediately responds to Skip's question.
No. 27: "Go Pick Me out a Winner, Bobby"
After "Wonderboy" lay dead, split in two, a stunned yet stable Robert Redford delivers one of, if not the most, epic home runs in history with another bat in The Natural.
If I were Redford, I'd have Bobby follow me around exclusively just to pick random items out for me, because he sure knows how to pick out a winner.
No. 26: "People Will Come, Ray"
Recited by the man with the best voice in Hollywood, James Earl Jones gives a monologue for the ages to convince Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams to build a baseball field in his cornfield.
Because of his syrupy voice, if Jones told me to burn things, I would consider it because I couldn't say no to something so relaxing.
No. 25: "Sweep the Leg!"
John Kreese in Karate Kid proves to be one of the biggest douchebags in movie history when he lets his competitive spirit get so out of control that he demands a teenage boy injure another teenage boy just for the sake of winning a trophy.
An honorable mention from this movie is the crazy, raspy voiced member of Cobra Kai repeatedly yelling "kill him" and "get him a body bag!"
No. 24: "You’re Gonna Eat Lightning and You're Gonna Crap Thunder!"
Mickey is the most famous fictional boxing trainer in history because of lines like this one in Rocky.
Sylvester Stallone is the one who wrote the script for this movie.
No. 23: "Juuust a Bit Outside"
Bob Uecker as Harry Doyle in Major League delivers an unforgettable line as a radio broadcaster trying to sell his crappy team to a gullible, radio-listening audience.
An absolute classic.
No. 22: "I Pity the Fool!"
This line so famous that Mr. T still uses it to make money in things like phone commercials.
No. 21: "We Talkin’ About Practice"
When Allen Iverson went on his famous rant about practice, he probably had no idea that it would blossom into such a cult phenomenon that it would spawn its own rap remix.
No. 20: "Don’t Touch Me, I'll Beat Your Brains Out"
The relationship between Ali and Cosell was one that not only provided sports fans with constant entertainment, but one that broke barriers.
One of the funniest exchanges came in an interview between Cosell and Ali:
Ali: "You can't fight. You can't throw no punches. You don't have no muscles. You've never had a physical contact with nothin' in your life like sports and you're gonna stand up there and tell me about my legs and about football. You don't know about everything. I'm getting sick and tired of it. I'm gonna show the world that there really ain't nothin' to you!" (Ali has his fist pressed to Cosell's chin.)
Cosell: "Don't touch me. I'll beat your brains out."
No. 19: "Playoffs?"
In one of the most famous press-conference meltdowns, Jim Mora is disgusted with his team after a poor showing.
I wonder what he ponders when he sees how much success the Colts have had since he was fired as head coach.
No. 18: "They Are Who We Thought They Were!"
After blowing a 20-point lead in less than 20 minutes in front of a national audience on Monday Night Football against the Chicago Bears, Dennis Green decided to take the embarrassment to the next step and completely lose it at a press conference following the game.
No. 17: "You Play to Win the Game"
Herman Edwards provided yet another classic coaching meltdown during a press conference during his coaching tenure in which the Jets were accused of having a "play not to lose" mentality.
Edwards' response is his best "Hermism" ever.
No. 16: "Show Me the Money!"
Jerry Maguire is interesting because it delves into a side of sports not many people see and possesses one of the most popular sayings of 1996.
But seriously, I was eight when this came out and I still remember to this day just about everyone around me yelling this quote for a good year.
No. 15: "Send It In, Jerome!"
Bill Raftery delivered one of the most memorable one-liners in college basketball history when he was overcome with emotion after a dunk thrown down by Jerome Lane on Jan. 25, 1988.
I think I could watch this a thousand times and still laugh to myself every time.
No. 14: "There Is No Crying in Baseball!"
Jimmy Dugan in A League of Their Own would crap his pants while rolling over in his grave if he knew how many athletes were breaking his masculine rule of not letting the waterworks go these days.
No. 13: "See the Ball, Hit the Ball"
Pete Rose's simple saying gave Little League coaches across the country something to say to little children learning how to hit a baseball.
No. 12: "Float Like a Butterfly and Sting Like a Bee!"
Muhammad Ali described his original boxing style in a way that only "The Greatest" could: brash and unapologetic.
No. 11: "Yo, Adrian!"
It still amazes me how Sylvester Stallone can contort his face in a manner that only a person made out of clay should be able to pull off.
No. 10: "It Ain't over 'til It's Over"
Much like Shaq, Yogi Berra is known for his many one-liners that cause one to think, reflect and scratch your head.
This one is my personal favorite.
No. 9: "Winning Isn't Everything, It's the Only Thing"
This famous quote is attributed to UCLA football coach Henry Russell "Red" Sanders.
Although many believe the quote is from Vince Lombardi, it has been decided that Sanders was the first to say it.
No. 8: "Touch 'em All, Joe!"
Other than Bill Mazeroski's blast against the New York Yankees in 1960, Joe Carter is the only player to hit a walk-off home run to end a World Series.
Carter did it to give the Blue Jays back-to-back World Series titles.
No. 7: "The Band Is Out on the Field!"
On Nov. 20, 1982, John Elway led the Stanford Cardinal down the field, putting them in position for a game-winning field goal.
After the field goal was hit, the Cardinal led 20-19 with only a few seconds left. What happened during the kickoff cannot be described, only watched.
It is the nuttiest ending to a game everyone has seen a thousand times.
Listening to Cal announcer Joe Starkey go bananas as the play unfolds is just as entertaining as the play itself.
No. 6: "Today, I Consider Myself, the Luckiest Man on the Face of the Earth"
The "Iron Horse" was one of the most prolific hitters in major league history.
For those who saw him play, Lou Gehrig is considered to be one of the greatest first basemen ever.
He might be underrated for how good he really was.
Now, he is more known for his longstanding consecutive games played record (eventually broken by Cal Ripken Jr.) and this famous speech.
No. 5: "Havlicek Steals It!"
The Celtics held a 110-109 lead against the Philadelphia 76ers with only five seconds left.
Like a lion reading the movements of his prey, John Havlicek read the pass and intercepted the ball, giving the Celtics their seventh consecutive championship and the most famous one-liner in NBA history.
No. 4: "I Don't Believe What I Just Saw!"
Jack Buck's most famous call during one of the most famous moments in baseball history.
This call is just a small sample size of what made Jack Buck so great.
No. 3: "Down Goes Frazier!"
When George Foreman knocked out then-heavyweight champion Joe Frazier on Jan. 22, 1973, Howard Cosell was there to be the voice.
With that call, Cosell provided one of the simplest, yet most powerful one-liners in boxing and sports history.
No. 2: "The Giants Win the Pennant"
Bobby Thompson hit a game-winning home run that sealed the 1951 National League pennant for the New York Giants, laying the groundwork for the most iconic one-liner in baseball.
How many kids growing up repeated this to themselves as they hit a home run in their back yard?
No. 1: "Do You Believe in Miracles?"
In the biggest upset the world has ever seen, Al Michaels' emotionally charged question is an honest one.
I still get chills every time I hear it and I was born eight years after it happened.