Michigan-Toledo: Grading the Worst Loss in Wolverines' History

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Michigan-Toledo: Grading the Worst Loss in Wolverines' History

Toledo 13, Michigan 10

Oh. My. God.

The Wolverines are Notre Dame from last year. They are the worst team in college football and the worst team in Michigan history.

What's worse is that Michigan might have longer to go than Notre Dame before it returns to relevance.

I mean, they lost to Toledo.

The 1-4 Toledo Rockets, who aren't even a decent MAC team for crying out loud.

I can't take this. I really can't. The loss to App. State last year can at least be attributed to one of two things, depending on what type of Michigan fan you talk to.

One, App. State was a really good DI-AA team that has won multiple subdivision championships and would probably beat a lot of D-I teams; or two, Michigan took them too lightly and figured their No. 5 ranking would carry them to victory.

Losing to Toledo can't be attributed to anything other than the fact that Michigan really, really sucks and they really, really suck in all facets of the game.

Let's break it down.

 

Offense

This is the worst offense I've officially ever seen. The Detroit Lions are more productive than Michigan's offense.

The Wolverines couldn't do anything right against Toledo, whether they lined up four or five wide or they lined up in the I-formation. They were completely inept.

Steven Threet and Nick Sheridan combined to throw 15-for-27, 120 yards, three interceptions, and one touchdown.

Most quarterbacks can put up shoddy numbers like that on their own, but it takes two of them to do so for Michigan.

I was outraged to find out that Sheridan entered the game because Threet had a crap injury like a bruised elbow.

I don't care if the elbow is purple and swollen to the size of Tom Amstutz's belly. I don't ever want to see the "Human White Flag" throwing the ball again.

The "Human White Flag" couldn't move the ball at all the entire second half until he finally put them in position for a game-tying score at the end, in which I personally credit Sam McGuffie for that 29-yard catch.

Missing Martavious Odoms really hurt, as seen by Toney Clemons having silly putty for hands. Seriously, every ball seemed to bounce right off of his hands.

Having Zion Babb out there is equally useless as well.

The running game is mediocre at best. Sam McGuffie is good and all, but I'm curious as to how many one-yard runs he has, because when he gets hit at the line of scrimmage he goes down faster than David Underwood's career.

Kevin Grady is hated by Rich Rodriguez, and rightfully so. Grady couldn't pick up a 2nd-and-2 and then failed on 3rd-and-1.

After six games, this offense has no identity whatsoever, and I have no idea what or if they're good at anything.

Grade: F

 

Defense

I'm done defending the defense after that performance. I don't care that they were missing Brandon Graham and Donovan Warren. There are no excuses for giving up 327 yards of total offense to Toledo.

And 20 catches, which is a Michigan Stadium record, to Toledo receiver Nick Moore.

The Rockets took the defensive line right out of the game by rolling the pocket out and making short throws. This is something Penn State is going to do to perfection this Saturday, so look forward to more of that, fans.

This is where the linebackers should be able to step up and shut down opposing offenses, but the Wolverines linebackers are terrible.

Obi Ezeh is never going to make it in the NFL, and John Thompson hasn't continued to redeem himself in the Prescott Burgess mold the way I had hoped he would after the Wisconsin game.

Sure, the defense gave up just six points, which should've been nine if it wasn't for a missed chip shot by the Toledo kicker, but Aaron Opelt was 33-for-50 and 257 yards and wide receivers were open all day.

After five games you would think Michigan could figure out how to stop a Toledo offense that is one of the worst in the country.

Grade: D-

 

Special Teams

K.C. Lopata can rot in hell for all I care from this point forward. He not only missed the game-tying field goal from 26 yards, but he missed it really badly.

My friends are used to me ripping on Michigan kickers, but Lopata takes the cake.

He's worse than Phillip Brabbs, and I know how most Michigan fans feel about hearing that name. So yeah Lopata, you're worse than Brabbs.

For once our returners didn't fumble the ball, which was a pleasant surprise.

Zoltan Mesko seems to be getting better and better ever since I called him out a couple weeks ago. He's the only person that brings me joy when watching games, which is really sad because he's just a punter.

But still, four out of five punts were inside the 20, and he had two over 60 yards long. He can be credited for Toledo only scoring six points seeing how the Rockets were faced with long fields all day.

Grade: C (only because of Mesko)

 

Coaching

I'm still not going to be one of those fans calling for Rich Rodriguez's head, but come on RichRod. You're not making it easy to defend you anymore and hold out hope for the future.

No matter how much I hated Lloyd Carr, he never lost to a MAC team.

Michigan better have one of the quickest turnarounds in history if RichRod doesn't want to be run out of town.

I bet there are already for sale signs on his front yard.

I know he's embarrassed, and he should be. I certainly am. I was walking around Chicago after the game with my hat still on, and I got all the trash talk from opposing fans and laughed at for being a Michigan fan.

He called his team soft after losing to Illinois. What are they now? Pillsbury Dough Boys?

It's even more embarrassing that he called them soft and that's how they responded—by laying an egg against Toledo. Bowl streak: gone.

Grade: F

 

Final Thoughts

If I wanted to take a high-powered drill to my temple after last week, can you imagine what I want to do now?

It involves myself, duct tape, and a nuclear warhead. Yeah, I want to go suicide bomber on everyone.

Overall Grade: F

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