MLB: Brian Wilson and the Best Facial Hair in the Game
Let's admit the truth supported by science itself. Beards are awesome, and only sported by the manliest of men. Throughout the history of Baseball many great men have harnessed the magical powers and the vigorousness of manly facial hair.
From Rollie Fingers all the way to Brian Wilson, these men flashed and continue to flash inspiration with every step on the diamond they would take.
Epic Facial Hair 1: Johnny Damon's Boston Red Sox Playoff Beard
In 2004 "The Curse" was destroyed in part by the Caveman known as Johnny Damon.
Damon had his most notable at bat in Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS when he hit a Grand Slam home run against rival (and future team) New York Yankees, which helped the Red Sox go on to win the series in arguably the most dramatic comeback in Baseball history.
The Scruffiness that was Damon's beard powered him to a .308 Batting Average with a then career high 20 Home runs.
Damon later sold his soul.... and Beard to the Empire known as the New York Yankees.
Epic Facial Hair 2: Corky Miller and His Bold 'stache
Corky Miller has been a respected member of the Cincinnati Reds since his days in Cinergy Field.
Corky Miller, a Major League Journeyman reappeared with the Reds in the 2009 season and shocked Reds fans with the Moustache of all Moustaches in 2010. Despite his less than stellar stats Miller sports arguably the greatest (and boldest) Moustache in Baseball today.
Currently Miller is a member of the Reds AAA affiliation Louisville Bats where he is teaching rookies the art of 'Stachin'
Epic Facial Hair 3: Reds Pitcher Sam LeCure Follows the Way of Miller
Reds pitcher Sam LeCure has learned quite a bit from fellow teammate Corky Miller.
Currently LeCure is in a skid, but the Moustache stays strong. One thing Sam has to his advantage is his soul....patch, A great compliment to his frizzies.
Along with teammate Bill Bray LeCure shows great promise in representing the Reds on the 'Stache Campaign of 2011.
Epic Facial Hair 4: Carl Pavano and Joe Mauer: Minnesota Stache-Burns Connection
The relationship between a pitcher and catcher is very important in baseball. But not nearly as important as the connection between the power of the Minnesota Stache-Burn connection.
Minnesota was blessed with the acquisition of Carl Pavano in the 2009 season, that later helped the Twins win Back-to-Back AL Central Division Championships. With the assist of the Burns calling the games Joe Mauer has complimented Pavano's Moustache to increase healing powers.
Joe Mauer's Sideburns have not only helped him achieve a 2009 AL MVP award, Four time All-Star, Three time batting champion and three time Gold Glove Award winner, they have also gone on to help Mauer grace the cover of MLB: the Show for Consecutive seasons. The Twins have had "Joe Mauer Sideburns Night", where fans can be apart of the Sideburns movement.
But as you can see through the 2011 season, one can not succeed without the other.
Epic Facial Hair 5: Ozzie Smith Begins Attempts the Start to Stache and Burn
This is what the Stache-Burn connection could be all about in one person. Ozzie Smith may be known best for his backflips and great defensive skills, but had he kept this look who knows what he could've accomplished in his career.
While brandishing this look, Ozzie made the infamous bare handed diving grab completed with a throw to first. Such a shame he never accomplished anything more in his career. (Editors note: Insert Sarcasm here.)
Epic Beard 6: Brian Wilson's Beard. Need I Say More?
"@ochocinco Dr. Cinco, throw away all razors and just let the facial hair get weird...the beard will know what to do from there." This is a tweet taken from Brian Wilson's time line directing Cincinnati Bengals Wide Receiver Chad Ochocinco to follow the ways of the beard.
From video game adds to late night talk show appearances the Beard of Brian Wilson has taken a life of it's own. Wilson began growing the beard as a form of rally in the 2010 MLB postseason claiming he would not shave the beard until the Giants were eliminated. The Giants went on the defeat the Texas Rangers in the 2010 World Series sparing the Beards from its unfortunate fate.
The Beard has become a revelation in the city of San Fransisco. Similar to the "Joe Mauer Side Burns Night" in Minnesota fans were seen wearing replica beards to get opposing teams to fear the Beard.
Wilson's beard and its magical healing powers have helped him return to the field this season and record Seven saves in Eight attempts. Just remember you can't touch the beard, no one has before.... Too much Magic inside.
So you've seen beards, moustaches, sideburns and soul patches. Did we miss anything?
Thanks to Kyle Stone with the assistance on this list.