New York Jets Improve to 2-0 in Less Ugly Uniforms

Flashback to two weeks ago:  I awake shortly after 1 p.m. after a long night of downing fountain Cokes at the local diner.  I wipe the cobwebs from my eyes with nary a headache, turn on the television, and find the New York Jets hosting the Arizona Cardinals.

Or wait, I might still be in a syrup-and-caramel-based coma from the night before, as I see these “Jets” in navy and gold, not the usual heinous green and white I’ve grown accustomed to over the years of watching them play in my team’s stadium.

But hold on, Eric Mangini is wearing a New York Titans shirt and a hat with a “T” on it.  What is this?  Are they that embarrassed with the Jets' lack of success over the years that they’ve decided to change their nickname and color scheme overnight?

Oh yeah, they wore these atrocities they call uniforms last year against the Dolphins (a game in which they won).

Brett Favre throws a record six touchdown passes in a rout of the Cardinals.  But I think they forgot that Kurt Warner essentially gave them possession at the Cards’ 35 nearly every time.  Field position any team would salivate for.  How could they not succeed with that?

Even the Lions could.  But, then again, probably not.

Back to Sunday.  Giants aren’t playing today, might as well check out that team that calls Giants Stadium their “home.”

What?  They’re wearing these again?!  Oiy.

Thomas Jones scores three touchdowns on the way to a 12-point victory for Gang Green over the Cincinnati Bengals, tying his career total as a Jet.

So I guess the old cliché here is, “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

I mean, we can call these uniforms upgrades over one of the ugliest uniforms in the league that they usually dress in.  You can call them “classics” if you will, as the Jets started out with them.  Plus Joe Namath led the J-E-T-S to the second-biggest upset in Super Bowl history in them in “guarantee” fashion (also stealing the MVP award from Matt Snell.  Or perhaps Earl Morral for essentially giving them the game, but that’s for another day).

But just because they’re “classics,” that doesn’t mean they look good.  If it weren’t for the Bengals' gear, these would be the ugliest things in the NFL.

But alas, the Jets, started 1-2 this season in them.  A season that Jets fans anticipated more than any other in over a decade.  A season where they bring in a ton of help in guard Alan Faneca, tackle Damien Woody, fullback Tony Richardson, tight end Bubba Franks, and some other guy.

Oh yeah, Favre.

And not to mention their arch rival loses the face of the NFL for the entire season in week one.  Let’s get rowdy, Fireman Ed!

“Oh crap, we just lost to that same team with one Matt Cassel at the helm.  Panic?  Nah, we have Brett the Jet!”

“Oh God, Favre just threw a pick-six on national TV.  Relax, we have ti-…another pick?! We've got to do somethi-….Oh no, the Chargers scored again.”

The Man-genius comes up with a, do I say, “genius” plan:  change the uniforms!

Brilliance.  The Jets have won back-to-back games in these the “upgraded” uniforms.  Never sleep on the Mangenius.