The Pains Of Being a Fan Of Too Many Teams

Chris RowlandsCorrespondent IOctober 11, 2008

I am an armchair fan. The reasoning for this is that I can only see my local team live, and Gillingham F.C. are renowned for their ability to defy expectations. Usually this means losing 7-0, but today they actually won! I know!

Besides, when I go to watch them, they lose. I even went to Upton Park (a West Ham-supporting mate had a spare ticket) as an undercover Hammers fan, and Gills lost 2-1. I can tell you, celebrating the Gills goal from the Hammers stand was a big mistake...

Anyway, because of this unfortunate Gillingham-living-near-to experience, I watch a lot of random football on TV. Soccer Saturday has become my best friend. Here we go, a list of clubs I either support or check the results of/really like:

  1. Hull
  2. Liverpool
  3. Gilingham
  4. Accrington Stanley
  5. Hartlepool
  6. Swansea
  7. Scarborough
  8. Ebbsfleet
  9. Inverness
  10. Hamilton
  11. East Stirling
  12. Braintree
  13. AFC Wimbledon
  14. FC United
  15. AFC Liverpool (Yes, they exist!)
  16. Go Ahead Eagles (Holland)
  17. Allemania Aachen (Germany, went there on a school trip, was three Euros away from buying their club shirt)
  18. Malaga (School Trip)
  19. Kaizer Chiefs (Blame the band)
  20. erm...Gretna, until they decided to stop existing selfish bast...

So, what is my dilemma? Well, how exactly do you expect me to keep track of all these teams? I'm not magic...well...not it becomes a drain on my life.

Secondly, most of these teams suck, I love a minnow (Hull were near the bottom of old division three when I became a fan eight years ago), as such, 12 teams will lose at any given weekend. Except this one, England are playing.

I live in southeast England. Who else is going to want to discuss the merits of a Dutch second-tier team? Only Paedophiles, that's who!

Anyway, the real dilemma is trying to classify the subsequent Bleacher Report article. Is it a list, or humour? I'm going to leave it up to those who edit my article, but I see 21 funny things and 20 lists.