So the other night, I was out with some friends at a party and we were having a good time.
But then my bodyguard starts bothering me. He's so obnoxious and just keeps on getting in my way and bossing me around. Ugh, it got really annoying, really quick. So of course I react, as anyone would, by taking him to the bathroom and punching the guy. He was bothering me so problem solved, right?
Who cares that my job and future were on the line? I had to take care of business.
And this one time, I was in a strip club when I see my boy, Nelly, making it rain, so I join in. But I wasn't heaving money at the naked women for them to keep, I was obviously just doing it for the visual effect.
So when they started grabbing the money, I became outraged of course. Who the hell do they think they are grabbing my money that I'm throwing at them and leaving on the stage? So, naturally, I had to grab the girl by the hair and slam her head on the stage. Silly strippers.
Speaking of crazy women, did you know cops get angry when you accuse them of stealing your wallet?
Well maybe it's just the police in Tennessee because they were pissed when I was drunk in public, spat on a woman's face who I thought took my wallet, and then yelled profanities at her until I was removed from the area.
They granted me probation or whatever but when that one girl at Club Mystic in Nashville gave me attitude, I had to spit in her face too. How else would I let her know that she's inferior to me?
Nightclubs are always getting people in trouble, man. I mean, this one time I just wanted to go out and have a fun night with friends and then next thing you know, there are valet people trying to make me wait in a line, something I simply do not stand for.
They also wanted me to give them money, which I didn't have, for their services but I refused. Some policemen came and told me to relax and to stop yelling at the valet people. But do you think some cops were going to calm me down? I don't think so. I mean, they wanted me to pay to wait in line? Yeah, right.
And speaking of cops, man, they sure do love clubs, don't they? Every time I go out clubbing, I run into a couple cops each time. They must hang out at the clubs even more often than I do!
Oh yeah, I got probation for that valet incident but I didn't see my probation officer when I was supposed too. I wasn't feeling it.
That reminds me of this time I was in Atlanta with my boys and we were posted up in a strip club.
There was this girl, Wanda, and I don't even remember what she did, I was so hammered, but whatever it was, it made me lose my cool (which I rarely do). The next thing I remember, I'm being accused of hitting her or something and she wants me arrested. God, what a crazy night!
About six months later, I was in another Atlanta strip club and someone pulled out a gun and started firing off shots. Me and my crew ran but someone accused one of my boys of shooting the gun. He was innocent and was with me the whole time.
It's disgusting that someone would make the assumption that he was guilty with very few facts to base it on.
Man, the things some people do.