Ooh La La! It's Princess Sean Avery!

October 8 may have been the most boring day for sports news since baseball season began. Absolutely no professional games the Tuesday night prior, and very little to stir the pot with.

I wonder how the SportsCenter creative team prepared for this lackluster news program. I'm sure it went something like this:

SC Executive Producer: So has Tony Romo picked out his ring for Jessica Simpson yet?

Producer No. 1: No, he hasn't.  She refuses to wear it until Jerry Jones gives him a signing bonus of $2 million.

SC Executive Producer: Brilliant! Let's open with it. What else can we use?

Producer No. 2: Well theres Stuart Scott's "Top 10 Boo Yas" highlight reel, a doberman pincher wearing a Kobe Bryant jersey, and with some spare time left we can have Hannah Storm decorate the studio with Boston Red Sox Fatheads!

SC Executive Producer: Terrific!

Producer No. 3: Um, guys? I know this seems weird, but it feels like we're missing a sport.

Producer No. 1: Is it Badminton season already?

Producer No. 3: No, but if memory serves me correctly, it does involve a net.

SC Executive Producer: Oh, right. The NHL. Didn't they move to some foreign country or something?

Producer No. 2: No, they played four games in Europe last weekend. This week begins their season.  We should probably do a preview or something.

SC Executive Producer: Didn't we already do that last year?

Producer No. 1: Hey! I got an idea. Why don't we show that piece cut on Sean Avery becoming a fashion intern? That would totally get the audience ready for hockey season!

SC Executive Producer: Perfect! Throw it on after the dog!

Nah...hockey would never take a backseat on ESPN!

Before we continue to digress, ESPN decided to show this fashion piece on Sean Avery instead of doing the obvious preparation for hockey season. And yeah, we all knew some interesting things about Sean during his tenure here. The women he dates, the clothes he wears, etc.

But the truth has finally come out, and it's all good reason to either no longer be fearful of him, or even more so.

He admitted that he never thought he was gonna be an athlete growing up. He was more into dressing up his babysitters' dolls then rolling around in the mud with Tonka Trucks. His young boy hobbies were not collecting baseball cards or playing with Batman action figures. He enjoyed the fine, vibrant, silky smooth looks of women's clothing.

"It's probably my desire for dress up that brings me back to women's clothing," said Avery in the interview.

Handbags, sun bonnets, and evening gowns. Just a few of Sean's many passions off the ice. It was even on his mind during last year's playoffs when he decided to write a letter to the editor of fashion magazine Vogue asking if he could intern with them.

He spent the entire summer critiquing high heels and coach bags, and when New York Fashion Week came along, he was sitting alongside Wynona Rider and Martha Stewart watching the clothes go by on the runway.

Well, we all know if he was commissioner of the NHL, he'd be able to beat out Bettman for Best Dressed. He also thinks he would do a much better job at marketing the sport. Of course, even a mule could do a better job than Bettman.

Avery stated "They haven't figured it out that villains and heroes are what sells...Nobody cares about Jerome Iginla and guys like that. They're just not exciting enough."

Wow. Good point. The only time I ever really cared about Jerome Iginla was when I had the seventh pick in my fantasy draft and he was the best available.

So when the Stars come to town October 20, the Rangers have nothing to worry about. If Avery gets in someone's face, it probably because their skate laces didn't match their jersey stripes, or their helmet is the wrong tint of blue.

It's sad to see, but the current style trends are much more complex then a Scandanavian mullet and a gapped-tooth grin.

Oh, by the way—number one on Stuart Scott's Top 10 Boo Yas? Joe McEwing's two-run Homer.