Stewie Griffin to Sign with Yankees

A.J. MartelliSenior Analyst IOctober 8, 2008

According to a recent press release, the New York Yankees are close to signing Family Guy star and future pitching prospect Stewie Griffin. The Yankees will give Pawtucket a player to be named later.

"Stewie's someone we've been looking into," said Yankees' owner Hank Steinbrenner. "He is a real sparkplug; a ticking time bomb ready to go off on the American League. Forget CC, we've got Griffin!"

Griffin, a native of Quahog, Rhode Island, is looking forward to this new and exciting opportunity. He will be the youngest player to suit up and play in the majors, as well as the shortest. He will be the first pint-sized player in Major League Baseball since Eddie Gaedel in 1951 for the St. Louis Browns.

"Baseball isn't really my calling, world domination is," said Griffin. "I will use being in the spotlight as a pitcher to take over mankind...although I'm not sure how that'll work at this time. Blast!"

Yankees' General Manager Brian Cashman is currently taking all the credit for spearheading the recruitment of Griffin.

"Stew's a hard-working guy and we've looked into him extensively," said Cashman. "We have had our eye on him for quite sometime, and he might help pick up the slack for Phil (Hughes) and Ian (Kennedy)."

When asked about inspiration, Griffin held nothing back about where he gets his motivation.

"Inspiration?! I need no inspiration! Although I do look to my best friend Rupert a lot," he said. "We sat down after the Yankees called me on my Sesame Street phone, and had a long talk about whether or not I should pitch for them. Brian (Griffin) told me I was crazy, but what does that dog know?"

Griffin has been invited and will attend Spring Training looking to make the team. According to Steinbrenner, he will most likely be in the starting rotation for the Yankees in 2009.