Why I Dislike Women's Football!
The first time I ever turned on the television to watch women play professional football (soccer) was two years ago. I was straight away revolted. Five minutes into the game and I couldnโt take anymore. Nothing possibly could be this awful!
I didnโt have a problem with the manner in which they played or how they looked. No, I didnโt have a problem with that at all. But someone did! My little green friend called Jealousy. That friend of mine who, was until the present, in hiding. Jealousy had a big problem alright, and she was one hell of a persuasive friend!
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She whispered hate filled words in my ears. She brought tears to my eyes. Such a monster! She said to me โLook at them; They have everything you donโt have. Theyโve achieved everything you wanted to achieve. Theyโve stolen your life. Each and everyone on that field. Take a look!โ
โYeah,โ I said loudly. โI hate this nonsense. They canโt even play.โ But the reality was, I hadnโt seen them play long enough to make a judgement. 30 minutes doesnโt count if you werenโt paying attention. Distracted because you were too busy feeling sorry for yourself.
You hate them.
...No I donโt, I donโt have a reason to.
Lies! They stole your life!
...No they didnโt, they build their individual lives.
Youโre a loser and itโs their fault!
...Thereโs only me to hold responsible, if Iโm a loser.
But you hate them.
...OK, maybe just a tiny amount!
Everyone gets envious at times, my cousin is jealous of Angelina Jolie. This is something that she reminds me quite frequently. Even my cat, Iโm positive is 'green-eyed' thanks to the pretty kitty downstairs with the pink ears and white fur.
Me, Iโm not just jealous of one person. Iโm envious of every single person who played in the FIFA Womenโs World Cup. That includes the refereeโs! Iโm so jealous of them, I can admit to wishing the earth beneath them caved in when they were playing. I look at them in their appealing, original, made for them designer jerseyโs and think...lucky #%$@#ยฃ.โ
U.A.E, has a national womenโs team but Iโm not authorized to play for them because Iโm not โEmirati...โ Great!
India and Portugal both too have womenโs football teams, but Iโm not a resident. Even better!
All my life Iโve been hanging in between. It never mattered. 18 years of not caring about that, and now itโs coming to haunt me. If only I believed in re-incarnation. I would run in the face of a speeding car and plead that I came back the next time as the star Brazilian player, Marta.
With my luck, I'll almost certainly end up on a wheel chair. Just perfect.
And then I wonโt hate Womenโs football at all.
No I wonโt! [Last three words said with a tone dripping in sarcasm.]


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