A triangle has three points.
So every Arsenal fans idea of a good joke involves taking the piss out of Tottenham. But lately, it’s just got a little too easy. These are a few new ones for our North London neighbours.
What do Spurs goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes and Michael Jackson have in common?
They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.
A little lad in a London primary school gets to take his pet kittens into class.
The teacher says to him, "they are very nice, what do they like to do?"
The little lad replies, "they like to watch Tottenham Hotspur, miss."
Teacher; "ah, that's real cute."
A few weeks later, she asks the little lad what his kittens are up to.
He replies, "they are watching Arsenal, miss."
The teacher says, "but I thought you said they were Spurs fans?"
"They were, miss, but now their eyes have opened!"
Darren Bent £16.5m
David Bentley £15m
Luka Modric £16.6m
Spurs being bottom of the Premiership after seven games...........PRICELESS !
A young boy goes to Social Services and tells them he has no where to live.
"What about your parents?" asks the social worker.
"No, they beat me," says the boy.
"What about your Grandparents?" says the social worker.
"No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy.
"Well... where do you want to stay then?" replies the Social Worker.
"Tottenham" says the boy "They don't beat anyone."
A little boy gets ten pounds for his birthday and rushes down to the sports shop to buy the new football he has been desperate for. He gets the ball down from the rack and gives the shopkeeper his ten pound.
"Sorry son", says the shopkeeper. "This ball costs twenty pound, but you've only got ten pound."
Thinking quickly, the boy looks up at the club balls and says, "Ok. If you blindfold me and I guess the ball, will you let me have the ball for ten pound?” The shopkeeper curiously agrees and blindfolds the boy.
First up he gives the boy an Arsenal ball. "Ok, says the boy placing his ear to the ball. I can hear the blasting of two cannons. This must be an Arsenal ball."
"That was a lucky guess", said the shopkeeper. "Lets try another one." So he hands him a Millwall ball. "Ok," says the boy placing his ear to the ball again. "I can hear a pack of rampant lions. It must be a Millwall ball."
"Goodness me," says the shopkeeper. "If you get the next one right I'll let you have the ball for nothing," and passes him another ball. Again the boy puts the ball to his ear and after a few moments he says, "That's a Tottenham ball."
"I don't believe it," shouts the shopkeeper. "How on earth did you get that one? I suppose you heard a cockerel crowing?"
"No," said the boy. "It's going down."
My old man's a Spurs fan. He is that disappointed with their recent bad form, yesterday he nailed his season ticket to a tree in the park.
He had second thoughts today and went back to collect it.
Someone had nicked the nail.
I wondered why my 2008 Tottenham Hotspur calender only went up to September, I thought I'd been ripped off.