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To: Sage Rosenfels Re: Four Minutes That Will Change Your Life Oh Sage. This is how your day began: Coach Kubiak comes to you and says, "Sagey, Schaub's sick. You're in today. Get us a win." You realize this is your big chance of the season...

NFL Week Five: Letters to the League

by daniel cox (Senior Writer)

37

584 reads

Opinion

October 07, 2008


To: Sage Rosenfels

Re: Four Minutes That Will Change Your Life

Oh Sage.

This is how your day began: Coach Kubiak comes to you and says, "Sagey, Schaub's sick. You're in today. Get us a win."

You realize this is your big chance of the season. You played well in spot duty last year, and I know you heard the talk in Houston that maybe, just maybe, you should be the starting QB.

You played so well all game man, until there were about six minutes left in the game.

Then what happened?

That's not a rhetorical question, Sage—seriously, what happened?

All you had to do was get that first down. Heck man, you had the first down—all you had to do was go down and get back up with the ball.

Instead you did some kind of crazy jump-helicopter move (a la John Elway, but no one's confusing you with Elway today), and of course the ball came out.

It didn't end there though—two fumbles and an interception in about four minutes. You lost the game for the entire team in four minutes. The Texans had a 10-point lead!

Schaub wasn't the only one sick on Sunday. After all of that, the entire city of Houston is sick.

I think you blew it.

 

To: Marty Booker and Reggie Wayne

Re: Sick Catches

You guys and your one-handed catches.

Reggie, as if the game wasn't exciting enough, that catch was awesome. You got all acrobatic on that Texans defender, spinning your body around, spread-eagle at one point, and grabbed the ball on its point with one hand. Your hands must be huge.

And M.B., I won't forget you. Yours was cool as well. The Lions' defender was basically pushing you out of bounds, hence the flag, and you reached over his shoulder, almost to the ground, and plucked that one before it hit the ground.

I know Kyle Orton and his beard were loving you after that one.

 

To: Aaron Rodgers

Re: Postgame Appearance

A smart man once told me, "Dress like the person with the job you want."

Now, I'm not saying you want to be Brett Favre, because we all know he never won any best-dressed awards (he's a spokesman for Wrangler, for crying out loud), but I think you can do better than what you showed in the postgame after the Packers' loss.

I know Green Bay is a blue-collar kind of town, but isn't Indy as well (and we never see Peyton looking anything less than dapper)? I mean, you were wearing a black beanie that fit you oddly. It was way up on your forehead, making it almost look like a top hat.

Combine that with the white thermal you were wearing, and you looked more like a University of Wisconsin ag student than a professional quarterback.

Take a page from the book of the winning quarterback, Matt Ryan. He looked like a winner with that suit and not a hair out of place.

You can do better, Aaron. I know you can.

 

To: Jon Kitna

Re: Looking Ugly

You think maybe it's time to start thinking about retirement?

I know, I know, the 401(k) looks shaky right now, but when you start throwing the ball to spots on the field where no receiver, not even a defender (so you can't use that "I got confused" excuse), is located, it might be something to consider.

It's a mess up there in Detroit, man.

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37 comments Last one added 9 months ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Shaun Ahmad 9 months ago

    Good read! I enjoyed it.

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  2. John Lorge 9 months ago

    Nice stuff Daniel...

    Re:Re: Wildcat

    Don't hate on Chad, he is the NFL's most accurate passer over the past few season (a trait Jaws said is the most overlooked QB quality at any level on MNF). Chad is also a team player, he just wants to win, and is willing to stand out wide, so Ronnie Brown can get the hype.

    Chad has had all the attention he needs in his career from the NY media. Now he just wants to play football, and help the Phins rite their franchise. If the Phins had a strong armed QB who was out throwing strong armed picks, they wouldn't have one either of these games.

    P.S. Never turn your back on Favre, he's the BEST QB of all-time.

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    • Micah Green 9 months ago

      Oy! All-time????? there are at least 8 better.

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      john, no hate. just offering an opinion that money could be saved and spent otherwise.

      i've got chad on my fantasy team. picked off on the waiver wire after brady went down.

      just trying to offer some progressive ideas to the team...

      heh...

      ...thanks for reading!

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  3. Micah Green 9 months ago

    Very good. I am so happy Brett is doin' good. Also my Miami boys and ronnie brown. Big ben is gettin' hit way to much. They need to make some o-line trades. Keep a back in the backfield. No empty sets. Good read!

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      micah,

      yeah i've been giving brett some grief lately, but clearly he's turning this team around.

      yeah poor ben is banged up--a well-timed bye week for the steelers.

      thanks for reading!

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  4. Craig Garrison Sr 9 months ago

    Very interesting method Daniel, good read!

    I agree with all open "remarks" too, good thoughts!

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  5. Buddy Smith 9 months ago

    I LOVE the concept.

    My Grandfather wrote a book called "The Devil You Say" back in the 1950s - similar concept letters between demons in hell explaining the terror they caused on earth. (Can you tell I'm Catholic?)

    You could slip into different characters if you wanted: have Mary Booker write a letter to Reggie Wayne - that sort of thing.

    There's 1000 directions you can go with this.

    Nice work.

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      buddy, thanks so much man.

      that's a pretty cool idea your grandfather had way back when.

      yeah someone else mentioned that to me as well, the idea of writing from different perspectives other than my own. may give that a shot next week.

      thanks for the suggestion. for being my fan, and for reading.

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  6. Sam Wenk 9 months ago

    Nice work Daniel. Big Ben's body takes more hits than a Lindsay Lohan joint, so you were dead on!

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  7. Joe Willett 9 months ago

    Good job on this. I like the writing from different perspectives idea.

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      joe, appreciate that.

      yeah, been working on this for a few weeks, finally wanted to bring it more to light.

      thanks for taking a look.

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  8. Eric Gomez 9 months ago

    Innovative, entertaining, funny - I love it.

    POTD.

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  9. Shawn Cohn 9 months ago

    Ahaha, That was great, nice article. If you don't get in with the Jets, I'll try next :D

    And Kitna....So true. I'd be running from Roy Williams, too.

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      shawn,

      looks like you're new to B/R so let me be the first to welcome you to the family. i hope you enjoy it as much as i have.

      and thanks for reading. glad you enjoyed it.

      look for new letters each week.

      appreciate it!

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  10. dominica. 9 months ago

    I show the beginning of the Colts game, and then left to watch another game, only to see my Colts were on this scoring rampage. I loved it. Never doubt Manning until the last seconds tick off the clock. 10 point lead? All Manning needed was around three minutes or so to capture a win. Go Colts!

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  11. daniel cox 9 months ago

    dominica,

    thanks for reading and for being a fan. look out for the letters each week!

    yeah, clearly you can never count out peyton. he did his part and wayne's catch was HUGE.

    but the texans still handed the game over to the colts. that has to be a concern.

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  12. Evan Wiley 9 months ago

    Kitna truly has been sucking this year

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      evan, no kidding. it's kind of humorous...he's got that scowl. it seems like he's scowling a lot lately.

      correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't he the same guy that predicted this same team, last year, would win 10 games...

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  13. GeorgiaDawg 9 months ago

    Excellent Daniel. Made me chuckle several times. I thinking weekly series?

    POTD

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      gd,

      thanks so much for the pick.

      glad to make some "chuckle," and i've been doing this since the season started, but i guess i haven't really shared it with anyone.

      thanks so much for the pick!

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  14. Sean Crowe 9 months ago

    It's strange, but even as he was blowing the game, I found myself wishing Sage Rosenfels was the Patriots starting quarterback...

    God I hate Matt Cassel.

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    • daniel cox 9 months ago

      sean, it's funny you should say that. not funny ha-ha, funny, like kinda scary.

      is that what you pats fans have resorted to?

      i mean, you saw what he did right?

      cassel isn't THAT awful, is he? i mean, he figured out that he needs to throw to randy moss. it seems he learned that in the bye week.

      i'm not convinced it's a lost cause in new england just yet.

      thanks for reading man, and thanks so much for the pick!

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  15. Andy Smith 9 months ago

    That was funny dude! Especially the Sage letter! Hilarious! I watched that game and just laughed at Sage for being a complete IDIOT!!! They had the win and offered it up to the Colts "we need wins" Charity!!!

    Good read man!

    [Andy]

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  1. Evan Wiley 9 months ago

    he did....

    I liked watching him yelling a few weekends ago because it was high pitched....kind of like tiger woods...gotta love qb's with high pitched angry voices. it suits the position perfectly

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  2. Jeff Little 9 months ago

    Good Read, Daniel. I enjoyed it! keep up the good work.

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  3. Tosten Burks 9 months ago

    POTD for being fresh. Props.
    Continue to innovate.

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