Justin's Weekly Brain Seepage: Week Seven

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Justin's Weekly Brain Seepage: Week Seven

I swear this has never happened to me before...

 

This isn’t a mystery people. It happens all the time, yet we make a big deal about it. It’s called playing down to your opponent. Florida did it to Arkansas, Alabama did it with Kentucky, it affected Penn State at Purdue, and Kansas let it happen against Iowa State.

 

It’s not a reason to get overly worried. You need to worry when it happens and your team is on the losing end (cough*Auburn*cough). That’s a bad thing, but in this “every week counts” world of college football, getting the win is all that matters.

 

Florida is going to put up a much better effort when they play Georgia. Alabama won’t play like they did against Tulane in the Iron Bowl.

 

What you should be focusing on is whether or not your team wins the big important games. There are a handful of those coming up this weekend with Texas/OU, LSU/Florida, Penn State/Wisconsin, etc.

 

For example, I’m much more impressed with Alabama destroying Clemson and UGA than I am unimpressed with them sleepwalking through Kentucky and Tulane.

 

Too much importance is placed on how a team wins against inferior competition. Good teams have bad weeks and vice versa. I know it seems to be over in a flash for the fans, but for the players the college football season is long and grueling, and it takes some major focus and mental grit to play a high level every single week.

 

Sometimes bad weeks can help your team better prepare and make them aware of what to work on for the next week. Also, it can lull an opposing team into a false sense of security about their chances and possibly force them to play at a lower level.

 

It seems to me that those that follow college football are too reactionary these days. Do I sound like an old man complaining?

 

Predicting champions in September, counting teams out in early October, and jumping teams around the Top 25 like it’s the stock market is just a little too crazy for my tastes.

 

Am I the only one who thinks this is a recent trend?

 

Get off my lawn!!!!

 

 

 

Can someone get Kenny Chesney a booster seat...?

 

OK, c’mon—admit it. If you were like me, you were thinking that Vandy has made a nice showing this year, but Auburn’s going to wipe the floor with them. It looked that way in the early going, but then Auburn decided to stop playing football and the ‘Dores kept it close and gutted it out.

 

Auburn’s offense is bad—I can’t say much more. The fans want to blame Tony Franklin, but I think it’s their talent at the quarterback position (or lack thereof).

 

That game had LSU fans thinking two things:

 

1) Awesome, Auburn lost!

 

2) LSU’s win over AU doesn’t seem that special now.

 

Of course, another thought that may have crossed your mind is whether or not Vanderbilt is actually that good. It basically comes down to the fact that they are an opportunistic team that took advantage of Auburn’s punchless offense and won the game the same way they have all season—ugly.

 

Whatever, a win is a win, especially when this year is shaping up to be another crazy one.

 

But honestly, I think this game was more of a statement of where Auburn is and not Vanderbilt. If the Commodores can get a win against either Georgia or Florida, then I’ll be on board.

 

But you have to give Vandy head coach Bobby Johnson credit, as I’m sure his phone will be ringing off the hook with offers by season’s end.

 

 

 

My favorite ESPN GameDay Signs from Vanderbilt…

 

1) “At VU, we use three fingers” (so does Arizona State, by the way).

 

2) “The Geeks Shall Inherit the Turf” (Musburger messed this up at the end of the game trying to repeat it).

 

3) “Philip Fulmer ate my other sign” (maybe not original, but chuckle-worthy nonetheless).

 

4) “4-0. It’s not just our GPA anymore.”

 

 

 

It’s nice to be back to normal...

 

After one week of being berated for losing to Oregon State, the USC Trojans beat Oregon like a rented mule, and they’re back to being the greatest team ever. Thanks—my delicate system wasn’t ready to exist in a world where USC isn’t lauded every week.

 

My favorite part of this game though was after Joe McKnight muffed a punt in the early going, and there were some boos among the crowd. I don’t remember who was calling the game, but the exchange went something like this:

 

Play by play guy: “There are NFL-type expectations among this crowd.”

 

Color analyst: “That’s because they’re an NFL-type crowd.”

 

I don’t think that was a compliment.

 

And whoever it was covered quickly by saying, “What a recruiting advantage Pete Carroll has here to be able to prepare guys for what the NFL is going to be like.”

 

Think that comment came from him or from the headset?

 

 

 

And this one time at band camp...

 

I guess American Pie was right on the money here.

 

Wisconsin’s band has been put on probation because of misconduct including hazing rituals and sexualized behavior. I kind of feel bad though. You know the band kids in your world when you were growing up. The jocks picked on them, the fratty pack looked down upon them, and now they act like those two groups and they get into trouble for it.

 

I don’t think it’s fair though. I don’t know the whole story, but I’d be willing to say that not all 300 members of the band were behaving badly.

 

Why punish the whole band? Why not just do what they do on a team and suspend the guilty parties? Sure, “On Wisconsin” might not sound as grand when the entire wind section is absent because they like to shave heads and dance around naked, but you know the reputation those crazy-ass party monster clarinet players have to uphold.

 

They’re straight from the Woodwind section yo, it’s a double dub thing—you wouldn’t understand.

 

 

 

Higher or lower...

 

This week the National Debt calculator has run out of room. I’m not joking.

 

So this week we play higher or lower than the National Debt. These should all be lower, but by how much?

 

# of Kimbo Slice articles on Bleacher Report after this past Saturday.

 

# of times Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson drool over and audibly express their man-crushes for Tim Tebow this Saturday night.

 

# of attempts by LSU fans to Cloak and Dagger their way into finding out Tebow’s cell phone number this year.

 

# of LSU fans that quit such a venture in favor of getting schnockered.

 

# in ounces of projectile saliva collected from a 10-foot radius of Lou Holtz this season on the ESPN set.

 

# of pounds in mayonnaise that Mark Mangino consumes in celebration of victories this season. Or defeats.

 

 

 

What’s in a name...?

 

Did I read that right? Is Southern Miss’s kicker named Britt Barefoot? Was Johnny Mistletoe or Peter Thundershoe taken? That’s like an Xbox “create-a-player” name. That’s like having a golden boy quarterback from Texas and naming him “Colt McCoy.”

 

Wait...oops.

 

That’s even more impressive when you can get regional with it or make a name correspond to something within the school, like Notre Dame’s WR Golden Tate. Why not just change his last name to “Domer”?

 

Seriously, if my wife and I have a son next month, we’re gonna name him Remy Threauxdeep so he can play QB for LSU.

 

(I’m kind of unsure of my execution of that last joke. Is there a more Cajun-sounding first name than Remy? Should I have gone with Pierre or something? Or should I just name him “Tiger”?

 

Man, I’m having a Sage Rosenfels-type day, or should I have said a “Kimbo Slice”-type day? I’m going to stop typing now.)

 

Why don’t you comment with a “create a player” name of your own? Give me the player’s name, position, and school. For example, if I were to create an Alabama QB, I’d name him Fratboyhaircut Hatfield or something like that. (OK, it’s definitely more like a Sage Rosenfels-type day now).

 

See you next week!

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