TUF Times: The 10 Most Bizarre Moments from the Ultimate Fighter (with Video)
In order to compile a list of the 10 most bizarre moments in the history of "The Ultimate Fighter," I employed the following strategy:
(1) Find barrel full of fish. Any species will do.
(2) Find a gun.
(3) Insert gun into barrel.
(4) Pull trigger.
Because, you see, it's not hard to find bizarre moments from "The Ultimate Fighter." It's a bizarre show, is what I'm saying. No big shock, either, given that more than a dozen fighters who are in direct competition with one another are shut in a house for weeks with no TV, no Internet, no connection to the outside world and a cruise liner's worth of alcohol.
You know, now that I think of it, it's like the show's creators almost wanted to cause bizarre moments, by putting the fighters in that position to begin with. Almost.
In any event, please enjoy this list of the top 10 craziest, strangest, most bizarre moments from TUF. And if your gunshot produced different sorts of fish carcasses, feel free to produce them in the comments section.
(Note: Though I was able to find video for just about every moment, not all the videos are compatible with Bleacher Report. In cases of incompatibility, I just put a link in the body of the slide.)
10. TUF 6: Wherein the Upper Decker Refers Not to Stadium Seating
I'll let Richie Hightower and Talk Soup's Joel McHale talk you through this one. I really don't have anything to add.
9. TUF 8: David Kaplan Goes Night Night
From the "Be Careful What You Wish For" file, a soused David Kaplan guarantees he could take Tom Lawlor's best punch, then spends several minutes begging Lawlor to do it.
Then Lawlor does it.
This video of the punch is worth a viewing if for nothing else other than the sound Lawlor's fist makes when it slams Kaplan's jaw.
8. TUF 3: Noah Inhofer
Shortly after winning his first match on the show, Inhofer received a smuggled letter from what I can only imagine is a dear, caring friend from back home. In reading the letter, Inhofer learns that his new girlfriend was cheating on him. Or accusing him of cheating. Or something like that. So he did the only logical thing he could: Leave the show.
Must have been some girl.
It's shades of Keon Caldwell from TUF 13, except even shadier because Inhofer didn't get permission to leave, the circumstances were stranger and he had apparently only been dating this girl for a few months.
Whatever. I'm sure he bounced back. Right, Noah? Noah?
Just kidding. Though he hung up his spurs in 2008, Inhofer is apparently now engaged to that same girl. Here's wishing them all the best.
7. TUF 7: Wherein Jesse Taylor Repeatedly Pees Himself
When you're young, stupid, and starved for attention, the world can seem devoid of boundaries. Just ask Jesse Taylor. In an apparent attempt to entertain himself, his housemates and his audience, Taylor peed himself—more than once—on national television. Dude, next time how about just learning a few knock-knock jokes?
I can almost imagine Taylor tipping off the producers beforehand. "Hey, guys? What if I, like, peed on myself? Yeah, on camera. Is that something you think you would be interested in airing?"
"Because I will do it. I. WILL PEE. ON. MYSELF."
Unfortunately, no video exists of him doing this. So instead, just to generally celebrate JT Money, here's Taylor waging an uphill battle with the house dishwasher. No word on whether he peed on it later.
6. TUF 1: Chris Leben Pees on Another Person's Bed
This is quite a life I've carved out for myself here. Just chronicling the lives and times of reality TV's chronic urinators.
I should have cut right to the chase and counted down TUF's top 10 peeing moments. That's what really brings in the eyeballs. Give the people what they want--that's what I say
In this pee clip, which is not to be confused with all the other pee clips, Chris Leben pees on Jason Thacker's bed after Thacker had the nerve to be Canadian. But that's not the worst part—after he does it, Leben rubs it into the mattress with his hand.
What kind of a person is this?
I'll tell you: A drunk one, that's what. It's a good thing The Crippler may have possibly probably straightened himself out. Because when he's on his game, he seems to be a pretty good guy and an even better fighter.
Skip to the 6:00 mark if you want to get right to the peeing action. Which I know you do.
5. TUF 7: Dan Simmler Gets Broken Up
I'm having some fun with this list, but this one is more on the serious side.
During the fight-in round of the seventh season, Matthew Riddle landed a monstrous right hand on Dan Simmler, then landed a few unrestrained hammer fists before Herb Dean could call the stoppage. Simmler was left on the ground moaning and in obvious distress as medics rushed to his aid and fighters and coaches looked on in dismay.
Simmler, who was taken to the hospital in an ambulance, suffered a grade 3 concussion and broke his jaw in three places. Ugh.
Because I was curious about what became of Simmler, I did a little digging and I think I found him. If I'm correct, it looks like he is no longer fighting, but runs his own jiu-jitsu gym in Massachusetts. Hopefully he recovered fully and is living a good life now.
I couldn't find an embeddable video of the KO, but you can watch it here.
4. TUF 5: Thomas, Sims and Berube
Sounds like the name of a law firm.
But rest assured: What the three of them did on season five had no basis whatsoever in the law. Or any firmness of reasoning, for that matter.
In this episode, a wasted Marlon Sims and a plastered Noah Thomas get into a fight and decide to take it out to the backyard—specifically, the concrete pool deck area. Perfect.
The fight included a soccer kick or two, and Sims slamming Thomas on his head on the cement. Kinda bloody.
Sims, Thomas and Allen Berube—who instigated the action—were all tossed from the house. Afterward, Dana White rightly instituted a strict zero-tolerance policy on fighting in the house.
Watch the video here.
3. TUF 8: Junie Browning
Thrill as Browning drunkenly starts a fight with an entire house full of fighters.
Marvel as he continues to fight long past the point of logic.
Shake your head as he realizes he has completely alienated himself and dissolves in tears.
Nod along as the rest of the house takes sympathy and tries to help him.
And this is just footage from one episode. It doesn't include the glass-throwing or the BIG crying tantrum, or the climbing up on the side of the cage after a fight he wasn't participating in.
Let's give it up for the Pablo Picasso of bizarre TUF moments.
2. The Jesse Taylor Incident (the Serious One, Not the One Where He Pees)
Have you ever been fired or laid off from a job? It's not fun or easy. Imagine having to do it on national TV.
I'm not saying middleweight Jesse Taylor didn't deserve it after cutting a swath of destruction through the Vegas Strip that included smashing car windows and yelling at girls and telling everyone Vegas was "his" town. All I'm saying is, getting fired on national TV is hard to swallow. And it's pretty hard to watch.
You can check out video of Dana White laying down the law on Taylor ex post facto.
1. TUF 8: The Sushi
The granddaddy of all pranks. Assuming your grandaddy is a hideous, drunken sociopath.
Rather than show the nasty footage—which you've probably already seen anyway—I'm choosing to share this video of culprit Kyle Kingsbury discussing the incident, and actually giving pretty good insight into life in the TUF house in the process.