The New York Yankees bullpen has received limitless hype and praise early in the season, and they are already being dubbed as the best in MLB—as well as the best in NY since 1996.
While the group has accomplished nothing to this point, this does not mean that a proper nickname should not be added to the front of the hype machine.
It took mere hours for “Miami Thrice” to be created, and “The Fab Five” represents a team that never won a championship in its short time together.
The Philadelphia Phillies already had “the best rotation in MLB history” on April 5th—so there is plenty of precedent to this trend.
I would normally ignore the desire to overreact and create catchy names for the Yankees trio, but then “Jo-So-Mo” suddenly jumped out of Michael Kay’s mouth and into my disappointed ear drums.
While my list is certainly no Mona Lisa, something had to be done in order to find a better option than the Yankees broadcast team could come up with on their own.
Here is a list of 10 possibilities I’m throwing onto the table, and it’s up to all of you to pick your favorites—or add others into the discussion.
Let’s have some fun with this Yankee fans!
Many of you will either not care to remember high school English (wasn’t my favorite either) or perhaps forget the definition, but the “denouement” represents the post-climax of a drama.
In other words, it is that part of the book/movie where you are reflecting on what happened, tying up some final strings, and essentially waiting for the final credits.
In baseball terms, this nickname would represent the idea that the climax/action of the game is already in the rear view mirror, and the outcome of the game at hand is already a certainty.
Admittedly, this is more so a phrase than a completely workable nickname.
A well-deserved shout-out to Yankees Hall of Famer Yogi Berra is warranted here, as his “It ain’t over till it’s over” quote has become viral over the decades.
The appeal of this phrase is the surprise tweak and immediate change of tone from “there’s plenty of time left” to “put a fork in them”.
Cue the alliteration monster. Yes, I agree this is not the best of examples, but it was something that simply needed to be done.
The “cyborg” angle on Mariano immediately links to “The Terminator,” and matching one of trio/triad/three/threesome/etc.
It was too hard to resist.
White Sox fans with their own "black out" theme.
Simple, yet it sends the obvious message. Playing off of the “Enter Sandman” lyrics of Mariano’s intro, this is another way of saying “lights out,” “go to sleep,” and “goodnight”.
The alliteration involved in the nickname is clearly part of the appeal here, but it does flow off the tongue with some conviction.
A play on the word “contract,” this is a recognition of not only the large salaries paid to two-thirds of the bullpen trio, but also the concept that they are acting as assassins to finish the opponent off.
There is also a sense of instant and planned attack in this nickname, which focuses on the “never had a chance” tone that any choice would have to represent.
I doubt the origin of this nickname needs to be addressed, but I will acknowledge “Two and a Half Men” of CBS fame laid the foundation for a tweak.
The “two” is a quick hello to Joba and Soriano, but this one is all about Mariano. Yankees Universe has joked for years that Mo is half man/half God, half man/half bionic parts, or complete cyborg from head to toe.
This was the perfect way to leave the other half of Rivera’s DNA open-ended to let you decide and speculate. Additionally, what represents “winning” better than a show that once starred Charlie Sheen.
This would qualify as another simple yet effective option—one that does not warrant any further explanation.
Feeding into the “no mercy” identity of the bullpen hype, this moniker makes it obvious that Joba, Soriano and Mo are here for one thing and one thing only: to stomp out what’s left of the opposing dugout’s spirit.
Many of you will probably roll your eyes at—and/or hate—this one, but I have to admit it is one of my personal favorites.
A tweak to the pronunciation of Bronx “Bombers” vs. “Embalmers,” this moniker creates a clear picture that it’s already over before the bullpen trio fires its first fastball.
The team in the other dugout is already a dead, lifeless carcass, and the “Embalmers” are here to put the finishing touches on the Yankees’ latest kill.
I’d be lying if I failed to admit that “The Temple of Doom” from the Indiana Jones series was at the epicenter of this catchphrase.
Representing how difficult it is to maneuver through the seventh through ninth innings with those arms on the mound, the troika gives off a feeling of doom as soon as the bullpen door of Yankee Stadium flies open.
There was always a defeatist feeling at the sight of Mariano, but now those uncertainties begin to creep into players’ minds a tad bit sooner in the night.
According to long standing proverbs, there are only two certainties in life—death and taxes. This nickname aims to toss a third hat into the ring represented by the NY bullpen trio.
Possibly shortened to “D-T-V” for chanting purposes and quicker usage, the appeal of this option is actually the explanation of its meaning to rival fan bases.
Upon hearing chants of “D-T-V…D-T-V” beginning to rain down from the stands onto the field, most outsiders will ask what that means.
Yankee fans would then be able to arrogantly respond, “It’s the 7th with the lead bro, victory is as guaranteed as death and taxes. GAME OVER!”