Kumar Sangakara and his boys have been in Mumbai for the last few days.
They have found, among other things, a brown wicket. It was green last month, they say.
But they are fine with it, they understand.
However, let us not talk about useless things like the pitch and the wicket. There are more important things that are happening around the final game of this World Cup of Cricket away from the public eye, and very smartly hiding from the omnipresent news channel cameras.
Sangakara is angry. In fact, he is stark-raving mad. He is feeling insulted, to let you in on a secret.
There are several reasons why he is angry.
He has been in Mumbai for so many days, and nobody important has visited him. Yes, you read that right, nobody important has visited him. No calls even from the famous Mumbai underworld. Forget about the D company guys, not even a street corner goon has cared to intimidate him. Terrible.
He had flown into Mumbai expecting to be taken to a corner and being told this: Listen, you are good boys, you play good cricket, so do that. Hit your fours and sixes, take a few wickets, a few catches also if you want to. Let Murali also take some wickets as this is his last game, we are generous people. But you know, there is this small thing that has to happen: Give Sachin his 100th century, and let Dhoni take the cup.
But nothing of this sort has happened.
At least Pakistan were threatened, by a person no less than their own minister. But the Lankans have not even been suspected of fixing this match. Can there be anything worse than that? People must think that these Lankan boys are completely useless. The president of the country is coming all the way to see the match, and he has not even whispered to any one about the possibility of such deals. Shame.
And if that was not enough, there is this thing about Poonam Pandey. No, its not about her stripping, or saying that she will. Not a single Sri Lankan girl has said that she will do so if Lanka bring the cup home. So, is it that the girls back home aren't confident about us. Sanga is fuming. Despite appeals sent on video to every nook and corner of the country, not a single girl has come forward to do so.
Sanga is angry and fuming. Shahid Afridi has joined ranks with Sanga, and blamed his country's women for the loss. As per him, the boys felt humiliated, and Shoaib Akhtar took the ultimate step of retiring from the game.
They also asked BCCI to act against this girl. BCCI said that they control cricket, not girls who want to take their clothes. Point taken.
Meanwhile, Murali has decided to petition ICC. As he says, this is too much of a batsman's game. A batsman gets a runner, right? Why can't a bowler? Why can't a bowler be allowed to be carried on the shoulders of a runner to bowl? Why should the bowlers take this any more? They need runners too?
Nehra has come out in support of Murali. And so has Dhoni, in support of Nehra, of course. As Dhoni says, every time Nehra walks to the top of his run up, Dhoni is not sure if he will actually turn around and bowl. So, a runner for bowlers is a good idea, and he supports it. Also, a fielder for bowlers, except when the bowler is called Murali.
There is more news on Nehra. He is being pursued by several insurance companies. Not for policies, of course, as nobody wants to insure him. They want him as their brand ambassador. They want him to come on TV and say: Every ball is a risk, and every time I run in to bowl I run the risk of an injury. Anything can happen in life. Get insurance. And Nehra is still bargaining.
Now, enough about Mumbai. Let's go to the finals and hope that Sanga's anger doesn't harm India.
And just before I sign off, I must share this latest from Pakistan. Kamran Akmal has been given a lifetime contract to be Pakistan's wicketkeeper, and the Pakistan Board has ordered a bag for him so that he can collect every thing. Money you said? I don't know.
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