ADHD Corner - NFL Week 4 Ruminations
I'm a big fan of NFL articles that provide snippets (see Banks' Shots, MMQB, TMQ, and Morning Rush). I honestly don't have the attention span nor the mental capacity to absorb any more than a one line fact/musing/thought etc.....
So, with that in mind, I will begin what I hope becomes a weekly endeavour of ruminations.
- Lane Kiffin allowed Sebastian Janikowski to attempt a 76 (or was it 78) yard field goal. This got me thinking......a co-worker of mine was once relieved of his duties as an IT analyst. Before leaving, he created a bug in the company network that caused a little bunny to appear on every single employee's PC upon logging in the next morning. The bunny screamed "F___ You!" repeatedly.
The 76 yard attempt was Kiffin's "F___ You!" to Al Davis.
- Seriously, I think Kiffin would have gone for 80 if he had to.
- Another F___ You" to Davis - Kiffin ignoring the vertical game.
- 6 scariest words in the English language for an offensive player - "Next week you're playing the Titans."
- So.....Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard and he's an NFL quarterback. So, at a bar, his pick-up line is that he went to Harvard. His fallback is that he's an NFL QB. The almighty could have spread the wealth a little more on that one....you know?
- I don't know if it's true, but there's a source saying that the Bengals offense was unproductive because Fitzpatrick was "using big words in the huddle."
- I propose a new rule - if you're out of contention in your fantasy league by week 4, the IRS has to allow a write off of the entry fee as a charitable donation. It's Un-American to not allow this to push forward.
- The Anquan Boldin injury is the exact reason you take your foot off the gas when the game is out of reach. That could have been much worse....
- Lucky for Al Davis that owners can't be included in June 1st cuts......
- I had one of those moments. You know, when you're watching TV and falling asleep and the next day you wake up and are not sure if it was a dream......we've all had that.....right? Well, as I was falling asleep on Monday night, I could have sworn I heard the Steelers score a TD and then get flagged for celebrating. But.....the flag was picked up because only ONE player jumped into the stands. First - was it a dream? I haven't been able to confirm it on any website. Second - are there REALLY people whose job it is to get into THAT much detail about NFL rules. How did that conversation even go?
Rulemaker number 1 - "You see, when one guy jumps in the stands - it's cool and hip - like Chad Johnson circa 2005. When two guys jump in - that's kind of lame and overdone like Ocho Cinco."
Rulemaker number 2 - "Man - that's why you're the boss. By the way rulemaker 1, should we stop smoking crack before these rulemaking sessions?"
- I find "smoking crack" jokes amusing - shoot me.
- So, it's not out of the question that the Eagles are one of the 6 best teams in football......and the 4th best team in the NFC East.
- The Cowboys may be 3rd in the NFL and 3rd in the NFC East.
- Right about now, if I'm the Eagles, I'm petitioning the league to add Temple to the NFC East.
- Should someone tell Romeo Crennell that a 10-6 playoff-less season doesn't get you THAT much of a reprieve. A little advice for Romeo; if you see P Savage on the caller id, send it to voicemail.
- On a serious note. I can't imagine how much courage it took Matt Bryant to step on that field this week. None of us would have considered going to work that soon. I imagine his teammates are aware that he probably didn't care all that much about this game. But, he knew his teammates did and he wanted to help them.
- No truth to the rumor that, during a timeout, Ryan Fitzpatrick was explaining to his offensive line the underlying symbolism in MacBeth.
- Is Gil Brandt the coolest old guy ever. First of all, he built the Dallas Cowboys of America's Team fame. Secondly, he know every minute statistic in detail. And thirdly (can someone ask Ryan Fitpatrick if "thirdly" is a word?) he does fantasy football. How many guys that old are into fantasy football?!?
- The Bengals signed Cedric Benson yesterday. The following is an actual quote from Bengals ownership*. "We interviewed Cedric and we liked him so much that we didn't feel a background check was necessary. I mean, we didn't even google his name to see if there was any news. He sure did like that celebratory champagne though....."
* this statement may not be true
- I just saw that Travis Henry was arrested in a coke deal. In other news, the Bengals just called his agent.
- Just checking......are the Panthers using the Steve Smith KO of Ken Lucas as motivation? Would this work in other places of employment? It can't be worse than those inspirational posters people keep in their offices..... Are Ken and Steve going to start a motivational lecture circuit after retiring?
That's it for today.....
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