The Rules Of Football
You have to know the footballย rules before you break them...
Here are a few of FIFAโs lawโs behind the beautiful game! (The important ones, of course!)
1)ย ย ย ย ย Matches may be played on natural or artificial surfaces, according to the rules of the competition.ย โ As opposed to no surface at all.
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2)ย ย ย ย ย The colour of artificial surfaces must be green - Aw, so no pink, orangeย and purple? That sucks!
3)ย ย ย ย ย The field of play must be rectangularย - There was a problem with putting the goalposts on a circular pitch.
4)ย ย ย ย ย A goal must be placed on the centre of each goal lineย - OH, so thatโs what should be placed on the goal line. And I thought it was just for decoration!
5)ย ย ย ย ย Goals must be anchored securely to the ground - You know, so goal keepers arenโt allowed to move it around according to their convenience.
6)ย ย ย ย ย The ball is spherical โ Would it be called a ball if it was square? Does FIFA think weโre stupid?
7)ย ย ย ย ย If the ball bursts, the match is stopped โ So we canโt kick around a deflated ball? Wow, someone tell our school that!
8)ย ย ย ย ย A match is played by two teams โ Thatโs news. Call CNN!
9)ย ย ย ย ย Each match is controlled by a referee- Of course we know that, why else you think weโd let a short funny looking man who doesnโt touch the football tell us to get off the field? Heโs the man who runs around like a fool trying to avoid getting hit by the (spherical) ball.
10)ย ย A goal may be scored directly from kick off โ Says who? Superman?
11)ย ย A goal is scored when the whole of a ball passes over the goal line โ As opposed to half the ball!
12)ย ย The team scoring the greater number of goals during a match is the winner โ I disagree, no matter how many goals scored my team always win!
13)ย ย A direct free kick is also awarded to the opposing team if a player spits at an opponent โ So spitting is just going to result in a direct free kick? You hear this Torres? Only a free kick!
14)ย ย A yellow card is used to communicate that the player has been cautioned โ Oh, so not because itโs pretty? Referees sometimes get mixed up between a RED and YELLOW card.
15)ย ย A red card is used to communicate that a player has been sent of โ Yet, some players fail to understand this because they also get mix up with RED and YELLOW cards.
16)ย ย The player taking the penalty kick must kick the ball forward โ Why not backwards? Also, the player should be banned from kissing the ball, it's harassment of a ball.
17)ย ย A goal cannot be scored directly from a throw in โ Ever tried? Itโs not possible!
18)ย ย All items of jewellery are strictly forbidden โDoes that mean no belts? Aw...
19)ย ย The referee must ensure an injured player is safely removed from the field of play โ Hear that? No stepping over injured players accidently! That rules out stamping on Cristianoโs head when heโs down on the floor...where he usually tends to be...
20)ย ย Any player bleeding must leave the field of play โ No Bleeding on the pitch! Turns it red. See rule (2).
21)ย ย A played must be cautioned if he removes his shirt while celebrating a goal โ Oh well; itโs that rule thatโs cost football a lot of female viewers. Also, there can be difficulty in putting the shirt back on the player. (Watch World Cup finals 2002, Brazil vs. Germany)
22)ย ย A played must be cautioned if he puts on a mask while celebrating a goal- Thats Tevez' Christmas present ruined...
23) A player who is guilty of violent conductย must be sent off- This rule has kept Zidane from head-butting players... up until the day he forgot about it.


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