Joe Nemechek Has Some Bad Gas: Explanation for Poor Finishes

Steven ElonichCorrespondent IMarch 10, 2011

DAYTONA BEACH, FL - FEBRUARY 20:  Joe Nemechek, driver of the #87 AM FM Energy Toyota, drives on the apron after an incident during the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Daytona 500 at Daytona International Speedway on February 20, 2011 in Daytona Beach, Florida.  (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images for NASCAR)
Tom Pennington/Getty Images

If you have watched any NASCAR event as of late, you would have first noticed the recent struggles of veteran driver "Front Row" Joe Nemechek. During the last two races, Nemechek has averaged a 42.5 finish...out of 43 drivers.

His skills are obviously extraordinarily superb to these performances. He isn't "Garage after a dozen laps" Nemechek, he's "Front Row" Joe! His driving skills are not in question by anyone who has ever watched cars drive in ovals for over three hours, and once in a while on a track with both right and left turns. By golly, those right turns get exciting. Seeing those cars swerve back and forth just gets my blood rushing!

Back to the point. Nemechek's talent is being altered by an outside force. Someone high up in the NASCAR ranks, but not the top. It's obviously an inside job, and after five minutes of attempting to figure out the  culprit, it has come down to no other than Fox's pit-stall reporter, Matt Yocum.

Matt thought he could get away with it, if it wasn't for this meddling kid! Matt Yocum has been sneaking unwanted and low quality fuel into the car of Joe Nemechek before each race, unseen by the likes of Darrell Waltrip who is preparing to say his patented "BOOGITY! BOOGITY! BOOGITY!" or any fans in the stands, who are heavily distracted by Dale Earnhardt Jr.'s average performances.

What is the motive, though? What could a simple pit-road reporter possibly want with a Joe Nemechek failure? It's complicated, but to put it simply, he wanted revenge. It was his dream to become a professional driver who qualifies well but manage to not do well in the actual race, such as that of Joe Nemechek. It was all set out for Yocum. His mother was involved in motor sports for over 30 years. He started young in the driving business, working for the International Race of Champions (IROC), specializing in tires. He moved up through the ranks, and eventually earned a degree in communications, and that's when he got his start in NASCAR.

1992, the year Yocum became a NASCAR announcer, secretly hoping to get a chance to qualify. He earned multiple awards in reporting, but was never given a chance to start a car in the top five only to finish in the bottom dozen. He became angry, and then heard of "Front Row" Joe. Even the name just irked Yocum. "Front Row Joe? No. This cannot continue to go, no matter the flow! Them; I will show. I will end his career so. Then, I will glow!" Yocum presumably thought, who also wanted to be a poet as a child and speak somewhat like Yoda.

So what happens next? Who is to stop this villain of NASCAR? Well, it looks as if the ride-less Scott Speed is taking into his hands. Speed, who struggled somewhat during his rookie year, lost his ride when Kasey Kahne joined the team and Speed was released of his racing duties for Red Bull Racing.

Speed plans to capture Yocum in the act, since Speed doesn't drive anymore anyway which is a tragedy because his name was so remarkably convenient!

Only time will tell if Yocum is to be stopped. Cameras are never on Nemechek's car during pre-race, and only briefly during the race when "Crank it Up," happens. The only way to know if Speed succeeds is to see if Nemechek takes home a top 30 finish. If not, all hope is gone. Good luck, "Front Row" Joe. We are all pulling for you to overcome this evil.