Bobbleheads, t-shirts and refrigerator magnets.
One of the pleasures a fan of a lousy team has to look forward to every season are the cool promotions that sucker you in to handing over a hundred bucks you may not have otherwise.
I've become an expert at this in recent years rooting on the Mariners, unfortunately. I have more dolls than any 31 year old man should, thanks to the annual Ichiro bobbles. Though, they're sucking me in again this season.
This year's edition includes a hit counter so we can follow him on his quest to 200 a season and 3000 overall.
I got to thinking, naturally, because that's what this stuff does to me: what promotions would us fans who like a good old chuckle line up for, even though our favorite team would never do it?
This list is the byproduct of that thinking. I apologize in advance.