Charlie Sheen is a stumbling, bumbling one-man media circus with enough off-the-wall soundbites and gloriously insane one-liners to bring even the most poetic of alcoholics to their knees.
Now that he's entered the world of social media, I don't think anyone's safe. Picture Chuck Norris with a Twitter feed, high on Four Loko, meth and gummy worms.
Sheen continues to increase his media blitz offensive, but maybe he should soon get back to the issue of looking for work. If he wants to try his hand in a sporting biography, maybe some of these quotes will help him score that next big fix.
Wouldn't it be epic if Sheen still played baseball? Just think about all these wasted gems that he could have used in the clubhouse after a game. Get well, Charlie.