It was a fly by night encounter, one that was never supposed to be.
The product of the homecoming king and the nerdy girl who took off her glasses to discover she was hot.
And in the final twisting irony, she usurps him completely, shocked by the knowledge that he was only dating her on a bet, yet becoming the homecoming queen in her own right and of her own merits.
A female angst movie?
No, last night’s Oregon State upset over the prematurely anointed USC Trojans.
And man did Cinderella do a number on the big guy’s heart.
Though it appears that the mighty men of Troy were content to be faithful, it was the Oregon State Beavers who were doing the creeping.
They were running around like two-bit tramps at a truck stop.
And man can those shorties turn a trick. Behind the undersized, but electric action of the impressive Jacquizz Rodgers, who gained 186 yards and scored three touchdowns, the Beavers threaded an arrow through the very heart of the Trojan defense, running up the middle at will and creating some wiggle room for their sultry dame.
It was like watching a Lifetime special.
Perpetually beaten down throughout the years, posting a 9-58-4 record against USC prior to last night’s tryst, Oregon State strapped the Trojans to the bed and added some lighter fuel.
And then came the match, consuming the visitors in a pyre that all but destroyed their chances at a national title.
College football is no phoenix, and though early season losses can sometimes be overcome, there will be no mythical beast arising from these ashes. The men of Troy are dead, spared Dante’s inferno perhaps, but limited to one of the meaningless bowl purgatories that more represent the missed chances.
Like all good thrillers USC didn’t die quietly.
When all seemed lost they broke free of their flaming tethers, liquid skin melting and mouth agape, and made one last hasty grab at their foes. They produced fourteen points in the blink of an eye, only to take a shovel to the face on a poorly thrown interception that left them twitching on the smoldering floor.
One last lunge, and another seven points, and it was over.
And as we all pause a moment to stay our racing hearts, it’s worth considering that THE OSU didn’t get lucky, they didn’t throw a wild haymaker that improbably found its mark, but they absolutely beat down the Trojans up front.
It wasn't no fairytale.
And they left the King for dead.
Long live the Beaver.