KOs, Kimbo and Couture: Ripping and Riffing on the MMA World

Devin FratusContributor ISeptember 24, 2008

A lot has certainly happened since the last time I wrote on the Bleacher Report a little more than three months ago, but the Constitution says that I can still come on here and complain about it all I want, so here I am.

First things first, Couture is back and in the top promotion to boot. We should all be thankful for this because if he hadn't decided to strap the gloves on again we'd be seeing a lot more of Randy looking confused in ancient Roman body armor, an image I'd like to personally apologize for your inability to erase from your minds. But I digress, one thing that can disinterest fans from any sport is unneccessary courtroom drama. An entire weight class shouldn't be suspended in limbo because a fighter and his promotion can't settle a contract dispute. But I will say that Dana White does have a great ability to swallow his pride and do what's best for the company, which is keep fight fans shelling out fifty bucks for a pay-per-view.

Sticking with Couture, his next fight will be with Brock Lesnar in November. Bet on Couture. I'm not saying Brock dosen't have a chance, but it is a slim one. My guess is Lesnar's strikes will be dodged and when he tries to use his wrestling, Randy will have none of it. And if Brock tries to use his sheer size to bully the middle-aged marvel, well, he can ask Tim Sylvia how that worked out, that is, if he can find him. Look for Couture to win a unanimous decision.

October looks to be a pivotal month for UFC's middleweight division. The 18th will pit the slimmer and and more dangerous 185-lb. version of Michael Bisping against stepping stone/rise spoiler Chris Leben while the 25th will feature a title fight between Patrick Cote and pound-for-pound #1 fighter in the world, Anderson Silva. Bisping has shown that he is a serious threat at 185 but, like so many before him, he must first get by Chris Leben. Anderson Silva, Jason MacDonald, and Terry Martin have all been on the rise in the middlewight division at one point and have all subsequently been pitted against Leben to truly test their mettle, some fairing better than others. I've come to the conclusion that Cote fans should pray. I've still yet to determine whether said prayer should be for a miracle or for mercy. We've all seen that Cote can unload a crippling blow out of nowhere but Anderson's ability has gotten to the point of being undeniable. Nine times out of ten, anyone standing across from Anderson Silva will be dealt one of the most embarassing losses of their career. Until a true jiu-jitsu ace with unparalleled evasive skills weighs in at 185, Silva fights will be exciting but predictable.

Alright, enough of all this great fight card, amazing skill, legends of the sport baloney, we need some low-grade piece of crap dressed up with pretty lights and excessive amounts of zazz. "Oh, Hey Kimbo! Fightin' Shamrock, huh? Well, see ya later!" Whoever wins this freakshow, nobody wins. Not Kimbo, not Ken, and especially not EXC. If Kimbo wins, people will say Shamrock is just a washed up, ornery irishman looking for anyone to sock him in the mouth a couple times. If Shamrock wins then people will just have affirmation that Slice is a joke and view it as a small footnote on Ken's illustrious career. At the end of the night, EXC gets ratings, Gary Shaw gets blasted, and the sport takes a step backwards.

Speed Round


-Rashad vs. Griffin, soon to be greatest fight ever.

-Nogueria will beat Mir.

-Randy will beat Nogueria.

-Chuck has one more in him.

-Keep an eye on Rory Markham.

-Rampage will be back, with a bang.

-EXC is a joke.

-Affliction is slightly more legit, until Fedor beats everyone, which he will.

That does it for me. All comments are appreciated and I promise to write more often and continue to entertain/piss off the b/r community.