WWE: Undertaker? Titles? Special Edition of 'We Have Bigger Issues'

Nick BolyardContributor IIIFebruary 15, 2011


"The reason people get lost in thought is because they are in unfamiliar territory."

With the comeback of The Great One, I thought I'd write a special edition of my ongoing series of nonsensical issues within WWE.  Let's face it, Raw was great last night, we all know it.  There is no denying it. So I thought I'd touch on some observations.


The Rock

Normally, I would not include such a popular topic, but it's THE FREAKIN' ROCK!  The Rock came back and laid the smackdown on PG.  No denying that this has been the best Raw segment in years! Perhaps it was the best segment since "This is your life" with the Rock 'n Sock Connection. He called John Cena "fruity pebbles." Good stuff. He also OWNED Mitchell Cole. The crowd was electric! FINALLY...VINCE MCAMAHON HAS DONE SOMETHING RIGHT!


Zack Ryder on Raw

It was awkward.  It was pointless.  It was ZACK RYDER. Before the Brahma Bull returned, Raw got a shot of Vitamin Z. It has been quite a while since Ryder appeared on Raw, and William Regal ruined it. He kissed Ryder. That was fruitier than John Cena's shirts. I suppose Vinnie Mac did make up for it though.


Where's Waldo?

We all remember those books, "Where's Waldo?"  They were awesome!  Seems WWE is playing a game called "Where's Tarver?"  It's a fun game. One article suggested it was a bad omen, when Tarver appears.  I like that theory.  I also like the theory he is just going to show up at random, awkward moments.  Soon enough, WWE will hold a contest to see who can spot Tarver first.  As a seasoned veteran of the Waldo series, I predict I will win. You shall all tremble before my Waldo finding skills. The winner of "Where's Tarver?" each week will get an official Michael Tarver action figure. WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER!


APB Still Out for Cody Rhodes

Sorry Rachel, we haven't located Dashing Cody Rhodes yet.  Any information leading to the location on Rhodes can be called into this number 1-900-WHO-CARES! (99 cents for the first 10 minutes and 25 cents for each additional minute). 


The Great Khali and Pedoswoggle

First of all, that Khali segment last night was terrible (except five seconds of Ryder).  He was standing next to that l girl and he was about six inches away from being a pedophile. On the other hand, Hornswoggle made another unwelcome appearance and gave the little kid some candy. Creepy...

That's all for this special edition. Feel free to bring up more topics and leave comments. This was intended for humor purposes. So don't take it seriously, no matter how true it may be...