How to Keep Your Valentine Happy and Watch Sports at the Same Time
Valentine's Day is upon us, and for many sports enthusiasts, it is a time where we begin to panic.
No, we are not panicking about what we have to give our sweethearts, as a simple Hallmark card and a dozen roses should be enough.
We are scrambling to find ways to still be connected to the sports world while we have to give our lovers constant adoration and attention.
We have to be clever and deceitful when we try to find the loophole during Valentine's Day that will allow us to find time to watch sports.
However, if you are caught during your scheme, you may be sleeping on the couch tonight.
Here are some ways you can watch sports during Valentine's Day without your significant other finding out, thus preventing yourself from sleeping on the couch downstairs that is too short for your body to sleep on.
Purchase the World's Smallest Headphones: Monster Miles Davis Trumpets
These are among the smallest headphones available on today's market.
They come at a steep price of $350, but it may be worth it when you are catching up on your favorite sports team while listening to the radio broadcast when your lover across the table thinks you are actually enjoying the dinner conversation.
Text Messaging Updates
This could be the greatest innovation in text messaging. All you have to do is simply sign up for text messaging updates from your favorite sports teams, and you will instantly be texted scoring alerts during each game.
Choose Where You Sit During Dinner
When you arrive at the restaurant, before you are seated, make sure you scope the area first.
You could ultimately decide where you sit during dinner, and if you are smart, you will ask the hostess for a table facing in the direction of the bar.
This way, you can discretely have one eye peering up towards the television and the other one focusing on her.
Watch Sports on Your Cell Phone
For those of you who have the luxury of streaming high-quality videos on your cell phone, today is the best time to utilize it.
Instead of watching her during today's romantic meals, simply place the cell phone gently in your lap and stare down towards the HD screen.
However, it would be smart to eventually look back up at her during the meal.
The Gift Story
You tell your loved one you have to go on a two- to three-hour drive to pick up her present.
When she questions why they do not deliver her gift, you explain to her that they make custom gifts only and do not have the resources to have shipping vehicles.
Confused, she says it will be fine.
During your trip, you watch the sporting event you desire to witness today.
Of course, when the game is over, you have to return home.
Hopefully, you pick up something unique and expensive on the way home for her present.
The Phone Call
Before you take your Valentine out for your romantic dinner, ask one of your friends if they can call you during the meal, but you have to emphasize to call before the game begins.
Once you are at the restaurant with your Valentine, remember to have your ringtone on full volume so your companion can hear it ring too.
When your cell phone rings and you answer, immediately just start freaking out. Maybe throw some curse words in there too. You want to make this phone call as dramatic as you can.
You want to convince your flame there is a serious problem arising. You are trying to win an Oscar here, so you might want to start crying eventually.
Now, here is the tricky part. You must continue to start flipping out, stand up from the table, quickly tell your soul mate it's an emergency and you have to leave now, unfortunately alone, and, while apologizing, hand her money for a cab ride home.
She will be completely flabbergasted from what just occurred. Your Valentine will not be able to have enough time to fully comprehend the events you just told her.
This will result in her approval for your departure, which leads you to a local bar, watching your favorite sports team on a 56-inch television.